Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-07 16:08:11 · 12 answers · asked by elizabeth k 2

You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. a solid room. Only things that are in this room are a mirror and a table. how do you escape?

2006-08-07 16:06:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

at the bread shop there was a new employie a 21 year old blonde who loved to wear skirts to work.
and one day a man camein and asked for a loaf of raisen bread (witch was on the highest shelf only reachable by lader) so the man told her it was on the top. so she grabed the lader and started climbing the man cuirous enough looked under her skirt and said"make that two loafs" an old man saw him looking up and wonder what he was looking at so when he saw it he said he wanted 5 loafs soth the blonde kept making trips up and down the lader with more and more men coming every trip and when the rasin bread was gone the women said "now how will u pay for that cash or check" and the first man stuck a $50 bill in her bra and left.

2006-08-07 15:56:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tell me if you like or think it's too old of a joke in circulation. It is new to me.

710

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."
(Turn 710 upside down it reads OIL)

2006-08-07 15:53:58 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

why do they call them apartments if they're all stuck together?

2006-08-07 15:47:54 · 6 answers · asked by jessandduane 3

2006-08-07 15:47:47 · 14 answers · asked by barefootboy 4

2006-08-07 15:44:40 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

To the DOCK! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

2006-08-07 15:39:35 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

there is a circus in town...it starts at 3:30PM to 6:30
the seats for the audience were in the left and staff room was
in the right
no audience got up and left
during the performance a clown dropped dead
at the same time a gun shot was heard at the right at 4:45PM
three suspects were reported
1)one of the audience
witnesses say they heard him insult the clown and in his bag
a pistol was found
2)a race judge
he and the clown were enemies for as long anyone could
remember....he sounded a gun to start the race at 4PM and worked all day until he had to go home at 6 PM
3)the staff
they thought he was extremely annoying and talked about killing him
though he was a big hit somehow he died
what happened?
who killed him?
use logic and also things that can lead you to your suspect
probably isn't told here...
hint: things are not what they seem
choose right and you get ten points or ******none******

2006-08-07 15:30:04 · 43 answers · asked by Cero 4

maybe you can see the leaders having a little nazi flag with them..

2006-08-07 15:25:55 · 6 answers · asked by ##$SoulStryker$## 7

2006-08-07 15:23:53 · 22 answers · asked by lowrider 4

whats the logest word (20 bones to the one who gets it right) hint its english and not that supercali... huh you know that word

P.S. how did i run out of e-mails under this Q&A

2006-08-07 15:13:53 · 17 answers · asked by Papa Cheeto 1

A King ordered the heads of several of his counts chopped off because they refused to reveal where they had buried their treasures.As the axes began to fall,one count changed his mind,but it was too late.
The moral of this story is...












...Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.

2006-08-07 15:09:28 · 4 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

spell coke.....poke.......joke...... what is the yellow part of an egg?

spell silk.....what do cows drink?

spell most....post .....what do you put in a toaster?

2006-08-07 15:09:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I made this up by the way.

A blond goes into a cigarette store, and tells the man behind the counter that she just turned 18, and wants to buy some cigaretts, but doesn't know how to use them, and doesn't know what they do. "Well, ma'am, you just put them between your lips, inhale, then exhale, and you will get a relaxing feeling."
So she buys them and leaves.
The next day, she comes in extremely angry, and says "I sat there like an idiot, inhaling and exhaling, for a good five minutes, and nothing happened, until the end, when I got a burning sensation between my legs."
"Wrong lips miss..."

2006-08-07 15:09:13 · 6 answers · asked by wd20x2 3

just in case you don't know, an oxymoron is a figure of speech which combines two contradictory terms......

my faves are:

military intelligence

microsoft works

fun run

i need cheering up tonight, you've done a great job so far x

2006-08-07 15:08:42 · 15 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

A Brick!

2006-08-07 15:03:53 · 20 answers · asked by Good Vibrations 2

2006-08-07 15:01:39 · 17 answers · asked by ? 3

two eggs in a frying pan, one says 'cor, it's getting hot in here isn't it?', and the other one says.......

2006-08-07 14:53:57 · 22 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

The best get 10 points

2006-08-07 14:50:32 · 6 answers · asked by Krazi3 3

there's no correct answer, 10 points to the funniest

2006-08-07 14:46:37 · 30 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

please tell me i need some

2006-08-07 14:43:18 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Write a joke or something...

2006-08-07 14:40:42 · 8 answers · asked by Las V 1

answer my riddle

2006-08-07 14:36:05 · 28 answers · asked by bob 2

Finish this sentence: "It's so hot".........
Example: It's so hot the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Whoever has the most clever will get 10 pts.

2006-08-07 14:32:19 · 22 answers · asked by BelleoftheBall 2

wot goes up a chimney down but not down a chimney up

2006-08-07 14:19:04 · 19 answers · asked by Barson 6

A man in his late 40's is out enjoying his new motorcylce he bought due to his mid-life crisis. He cruises on the highway watching the landscape fly by him in a blurr-90, 95, 100mph- loving life. All of a sudden he hears something and looks in his mirrors to see the flashing lights. Getting a wave of rebellious feeling he speeds up. 110, 120mph. "what am I doing?" he says to himself as he almost hits a car. He remembered in a flash that he is 40+, has a wife and kids, and he pulls over. The officer walks up to the man and immediatly the man starts to apoligize. The officer looks at him and sighs.
"it's been a long day" says the cop "I'm done my shift in 20min, I want to go home and I don't feel like doing paperwork. So if you can give me an excuse that I haven't heard before to explain your driving I'll let you go."
The man thought for a minute and said "last week my wife ran off with a cop and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

The cop says "Have a nice weekend sir"

2006-08-07 14:06:37 · 8 answers · asked by chica123 3

how embarassing is this?!? dont worry theres no nudity
http://www.filecabi.net/video/girl_caught_stripping_by_mom.html

2006-08-07 14:01:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hehe, couldn't help myself. I love that joke. Lame tight-asses need not respond.

2006-08-07 13:47:50 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

i wanna see how good you guyz are.......i love jokes and i hope you do tooooo!!!

2006-08-07 13:37:19 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous