Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-07 18:39:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm engaged to be married to a girl soon and I just found out she has a wooden leg.My question is...





...should I break it off?

2006-08-07 18:27:10 · 14 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

Hi, I have put some jokes and other stuff on my personal website. Check it out and give me some feedback.

http://www.geocities.com/johncena_yo23/...

For the time being here are a couple of jokes.

Best Break-Up Letter Ever

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home.
It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky..............


The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.

In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.

Continued below.........

2006-08-07 18:25:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-07 18:20:35 · 12 answers · asked by Mortimer Pratchett 1

GRANDPA1: i got shaky hands. i nicked myself while shaving this morning. GRANDPA2: tell me about it. i burned my fingers while lighting my pipe. GRANDPA3: you guys think you got it bad? i came three times while taking a piss!

2006-08-07 18:11:05 · 9 answers · asked by c3dr1c 3

For use in Prank, perferably no the hand in water trick!

2006-08-07 18:08:12 · 12 answers · asked by nomadman14 2

2006-08-07 18:04:41 · 11 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

While on Safari in the wild jungles of Africa, Professor Claudia woke one morning and felt something in the pocket of her pajamas. It had a head and a tail, but no legs. When Claudia got up she could feel it move inside of her pocket. However, Claudia showed little concern and went about her morning activities. Why wasn't she concerned?

2006-08-07 18:01:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I can sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg,
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg,
I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole,
I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole,
What am I?

2006-08-07 17:54:23 · 10 answers · asked by lindsey 3

2006-08-07 17:48:39 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

to Peter Piper Picked a Pickle?
I was just wondering....

2006-08-07 17:48:03 · 19 answers · asked by Mrs J 3

Some EVIL plans to take over the world then u can Tell me ....
You will be given a good Position when i will take over the world..
What do u think???

2006-08-07 17:46:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

i need a laugh see i cant laugh _a h_

2006-08-07 17:42:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

...everyone is naked in heaven. He sees 2 people and immediately knows they're Adam and Eve...how did he know?

2006-08-07 17:37:21 · 8 answers · asked by oskeewowwow 1

A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?

2006-08-07 17:35:21 · 10 answers · asked by lindsey 3

2006-08-07 17:25:53 · 15 answers · asked by ? 6

Recently, in a crowded lift, a co-worker asked me how my cats were. He knows that I don't have any cats, but I decided to play along, and said: "they're fine". He said "good, has the hair grown back since you shaved them then?". Cue everyone in the lift cracking up. How can I get him back with another thing to ask in a crowded lift?

Please don't say "who farted?"....

2006-08-07 16:58:25 · 14 answers · asked by yoki 3

2006-08-07 16:52:05 · 17 answers · asked by english_man_knoxville 2

and be creative. MYSELF.. WELL, i would soak rubbing alcohol in chewing tobacco overnight..and then drain the juice the next morning and put it in a syringe.. once one tiny drop enters the bloodstream, you feel really high from nicotine and die in 5 seconds...

2006-08-07 16:48:12 · 19 answers · asked by hey 3

2006-08-07 16:47:19 · 2 answers · asked by Bharat 1

Does anyone here know where I can find the video joke where it shows a peaceful scene of a car in the country side driving around and then all of a sudden a freaking face jumps into the screen? I have to find that video clip! Ten points to who ever sends me the right link to the clip!

2006-08-07 16:44:03 · 6 answers · asked by Shadow Love at Midnight 1

Kiss my buttocks, Yahoo!

2006-08-07 16:42:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whoever insults me the best wins.

2006-08-07 16:42:36 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-07 16:42:11 · 9 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

what looks like everything but cant be used like everything and is always very far away from you?

2006-08-07 16:39:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-07 16:37:52 · 19 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her Car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

2006-08-07 16:30:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

the police think its a cereal (serial) killer roflmao

2006-08-07 16:27:26 · 7 answers · asked by james_a_willis 3

2006-08-07 16:20:21 · 19 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

die by drowning or in a fire?

2006-08-07 16:12:17 · 19 answers · asked by hey 3