Insult me.?

Question

Whoever insults me the best wins.

Answer 1

wow.......is this a trick to have some one reported?......... or do u just love tough love?

Answer 2

insults:

Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.

I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.

I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.

I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

Answer 3

your so freekin ugly that you have nothing and all you do all day is sit around in your ugly house in your awful neighborhood and do nothing, you don't even get any mail because the mail man won't walk up to your mailbox. okay that was crappy but i was insutled by an idiot a minute ago and can't think !!

Answer 4

You are a stupid ugly b i t ch. You probably don't even know your
a s s from your mouth. I bet you learned how to read last week. You're so retarded you ride a taxi to school. You're probably fat too. Go hop on a treadmill you fat sped!

Answer 5

You're not worth an insult.

Answer 6

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 7

You're living proof that there's a shallow end to the gene pool!

Answer 8

ur avatar looks like a gay man that cant even get laid by a desperate stripper! srry dude im just messin wit ya!

Answer 9

You're so ugly.......
that your wife ran off with Bigfoot because she heard a man who had big feet had big (appendages?) AND if you look for them on their trail I bet you'd find her tracks, Bigfoot's tracks and a little ditch between his tracks........
Oh, she says Bigfoot smells better than you too.........
(Just joking. Promise)

Answer 10

you could be arrested for mooning when in reality youre staring out the window.

im sorry. lol.
annnnd if you dont get what that means then im REALLY sorry.

Answer 11

When they were passing out books, you thought they said looks, and you said "give me a scary one"