does anyone have any funny jokes?

Question

please tell me i need some

Answer 1

A little boy walked into his mom and dads room while they were fighting. The dad yelled, "You b****!" And the mom screamed, "You bastard!" And the little boy said, "Mommy, Daddy what does that mean???" And the parents replied "Um...ladies and gentlemen." And with that answer the little boy ran off to bed.

The next night the parents were really horny, the dad said "Nice breast!" And the mom, "Nice dick!" And the little boy ran into the room and asked, "Mommy, Daddy what does that mean???" "Um...hats and coats." And with that answer the little boy ran back to bed.

The next day was Thanksgiving and all of the relatives were going to be eating and celebrating at the little boys house. The little boy was on his way up the stairs and ran into the bathroom. When he swung the door open it hit his dad's elbow, (the dad was shaving and he cut himself) "S***!" He bellowed. "Daddy what does that mean???" "Um, it is the name of the shaving cream that I'm using, now run downstairs and see what your mom is doing." And with that the little boy did as he was told. Meanwhile his mom was slicing the turkey, and she accidentally put her finger in the wrong place. "F****!" She hollered and the little boy said , "Mommy, what does that mean???" "Um, it means I'm cutting the turkey."

DING-DONG the door bell rang and the little boy scampered off to answer it saying: "Hello all of you b****** and bastards, hang up your breast and *****. Dad's up stairs whipping the s*** off of his face and mom's in the kitchen f****** the turkey!"

Answer 2

new guy strolls into town and sees this sign outside the bar. "FREE BEER FOR WHOEVER COMPLETES THE TEST".. so the man walks in and asks the bartender wut the test is.. so the bartender goes.. "FIRST: you have to chug this gallon of pepper taquilla without making a face.. SECOND: there's an alligator outback that has a sore tooth, pull it out... THIRD: there's a woman upstairs that hasn't been pleasured for a long time, fix her up.." so the guy hears all this and says theres no way he's doin all that for free beer.. so some time passes and the guy has a few drinks.. eventually he asks the bartender, "wherrss zat taqullla?".. so he chugs it back without makin a face and stumbles out the back.. a few minutes later he comes back in with his shirt torn off and scratches all over his back and says.."now, wheresss zat woman with the soree tooth?"

lol..

Answer 3

So a little girl goes up to her mom and dad and asks "Where do babies come from?" Her parents think the girl is too young to understand so they reply "Honey, babies come from storks." The girl thinks about this for a minute, then turns to her dad and asks "Dad, you f**ked a stork?"

Answer 4

i went to a zoo the other day, there was no animals there except for a little dog. it was a shitzu. :)

Answer 5

lp_luvr142005