Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Because there's too many Wing's and there's too many Wong's and they might Wing the Wong number

2006-08-30 13:08:55 · 12 answers · asked by I know nothing 1

MIND GAME




2% or 98%

This is strange...can you figure it out?

Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?

Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!

* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.

* There's no trick or surprise.

* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
* Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ... really. * Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something.)

































Think of a number from 1 to 10














































Multiply that number by 9
















































If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together












































Now subtract 5















































Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with

(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)













































Think of a country that starts with that letter.










































Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
















































Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
















































Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.















































Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.
















































Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?





I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise. Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.

2006-08-30 13:06:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

George, Helen, and Steve are drinking coffee.

Bert, Karen, and Dave are drinking soda.

Using logic, is Elizabeth drinking coffee or soda?



SERIOUS ANSWERERS ONLY! Give your logical thought process behind your answer. Don't just guess...

2006-08-30 13:05:26 · 4 answers · asked by ReNeOuS 3

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground,stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards thecircle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same,except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw ALL the money into the air, and what God wants, God takes!"

2006-08-30 12:47:05 · 14 answers · asked by Sally Pepsi 4

ok herres a couple of fun riddles(whoever answers mos of them correctly gets ten points!)

1.A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?

2.A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50."

The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less.

In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

3.A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. how?

2006-08-30 12:41:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

When I was a boy..
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really Mega bites
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
And a keyboard was a piano
Compress was what you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped in public
You'd be in jail awhile
Log on was adding wood to the pile
Hard drive was a bad trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And back-up happened to your commode
Cut you did with a poket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But that when it happens they'll wish they were dead.

2006-08-30 12:40:52 · 12 answers · asked by jfmm 7

clue #1 " YOU STICK EVERY SINGLE HARD FINGER INSIDE OF ME"

clue #2 "I GET WET WHEN YOU PLAY WITH ME WHEN ITS COLD"

clue #3 " I ALWAYS MAKE YOU FEEL NICE AND WARM WHEN I GET ON YOU"

WHAT AM I?

2006-08-30 12:37:04 · 5 answers · asked by Gurlie 2

has to be clean.. lol

2006-08-30 12:37:02 · 12 answers · asked by maidenrocks 3

2006-08-30 12:35:59 · 26 answers · asked by El Camaleon 3

2006-08-30 12:35:53 · 13 answers · asked by jewels178 1

2006-08-30 12:34:55 · 8 answers · asked by Miss Ali 2

...your school results to ringing cow bells to release class.

sadly enough, it's true.

2006-08-30 12:02:04 · 8 answers · asked by adanthuis 2

A motorist stopped opposite a garage and said to a little boy "Nip over the road and get me a can of oil". The little boy said "F U" so the motorist ran over himself.

2006-08-30 11:53:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is greater than god, more evil than the devil? The poor have it, the rich need it. If you eat it you will die?

This was sent to my email and I cannot figure it out - it is bugging me that I do not know the answer.

2006-08-30 11:48:20 · 13 answers · asked by perfection1972 1

i need something to make my day make me laugh but keep it clean please!!

2006-08-30 11:45:49 · 20 answers · asked by sunshine_jayne 2

some say I have powers

2006-08-30 11:44:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hva er den morsom vits De noensinne hørt ?

2006-08-30 11:41:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

and asked the barman for a double entendre.So he gave her one.

2006-08-30 11:37:04 · 10 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

why did u click on this????

ha ha ha ha
one of u will get 10 points but who????!!!

2006-08-30 11:30:21 · 10 answers · asked by i_luv_dogs! 2

C'mon guess! ;) lol

2006-08-30 11:12:45 · 24 answers · asked by songbird 6

keep it clean :)

2006-08-30 10:59:32 · 12 answers · asked by Curious 2

this is red sometimes, is sucked sometimes, according to preference is how they are chosen.
What am i?.....

2006-08-30 10:38:38 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Some gangsters were thinking of robbing a bank. They thought of the best plan that could be made and started to work.
A day or two later they are able to get into the bank and found hundreds of safes. They opened the first safe, but the only thing they found in there was a vanilla pudding. The head gangster says, "Well, at least we can eat it." So they ate the pudding.

They opened up the second safe, but again there was just another pudding. They decided to devoured it, too. This process went on for the rest of the day, until all the safes were opened. There was no money or jewelry in any of them. "Well," they said, "at least there was something for us to eat."

The next day on the news, they heard, "Yesterday the biggest sperm bank in the USA was robbed . . ."

1-10
Mine was a 6 with an Awe, gross..ha-ha!

Tickles and giggles
SmileyCat : )

2006-08-30 10:22:31 · 9 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked.
When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.
She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're thirty-two.
And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're twenty-six.
And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're twenty-four ... "
"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"
The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of
times we didn't get nothin."

2006-08-30 10:08:09 · 11 answers · asked by Reca 2

What is it i'm talking about, here we go,
It's stiff, you can get different shades/colours it's good to keep around, if you want to be creative, it is also smooth to touch, and can bend or be drawn on, if you guess what i'm talking about you get 10 points.

2006-08-30 10:04:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Did you hear that Dick Van Dyke's real name is:

~
~~
~~~
~~~~
~~~
~~
~
Penis Van Lesbian.

Clever or just plain lame!
(and no I didn't make this up it's in the funnies at...snoops.com!)


Sharin' my smiles..
SmileyCat : )

2006-08-30 10:03:41 · 20 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

Think about it.

There's no such thing as a funny woman. All the great comedians of the world are MEN. Don't say "But Roseanne is funny LOLZ"...no. Neither is Whoopi Goldberg, Sarah Silverman or Ellen Degeneres.

Think about the last time you were ROFLMAO-ing. I bet a man made you do it.

Women are good for a chuckle, usually at their expense. Men are good for real comedy.

2006-08-30 10:01:54 · 20 answers · asked by Allie 1

the truck broke down in the country and there was no alternative for the trucker but to walk the ten miles to the nearest farmhouse. he explained his predicament to the farmer and asked if he could spend the night, 'sure,' replied the farmer, 'but I must warn you that I don’t have any daughters. I don’t even have a spare room so you’ll have to share my bed.'
'damn,' said the trucker. 'I’m in the wrong joke.'

2006-08-30 09:59:57 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Olaf & Sven were fishing when Sven got out a cigar. With no matches, asked Olaf for a light. "Ya, shure, I haff a lighter," he replied. Reaching into his tackle box, he got out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. "Yiminy Cricket!" screamed Sven. "Vere dit yew git dat monster?!" "Vell, I got it from my Genie." "You haff a Genie?" Sven asked. "Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle pox." says Olaf. Olaf opens his tackle box, out pops the Genie. Talking to the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?" "Yes, I will." says the Genie. So Sven asks him for a million bucks. The Genie goes into the tackle box leaving Sven waiting for his million bucks. Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled with the sound of a million ducks..... flying overhead.Over the roar of the ducks Sven yells at Olaf."I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" Olaf answers, "Ya, forgot to tell yew dat he is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"

2006-08-30 09:56:07 · 11 answers · asked by Reca 2

i have a riddle, who am i? dont need to think too much, u would see me when u stand in a dark room. dont believe it, try it.

2006-08-30 09:47:29 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous