Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

I went to the blacksmith on sunday and he was closed, however I located him, and asked him if he would shoe my horse.
seeing as though it's sunday he replied I will do it for you but I will have to charge you quite a bit, ok I said how much do you want.
he said I want 1 penny (cent) for the first nail and 2 pennys for the second nail and 4 pennies for the third nail 8 for the fourth and so on, the cost of each nail doubled to the last nail
I thought for a second, ok 7 nails in each shoe, and there are 4 shoes it seemed ok, and I needed it done so I agreed.

the blacksmith continued to shoe the horse
How much was his bill going to cost me?

no tricks in the quesiton above

2006-06-27 13:38:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

What has 120 legs and an IQ of 65?

2006-06-27 13:31:15 · 15 answers · asked by Raidered81 3

Elton John goes to a tattoo parlor and asks to have a car tattooed on his d*ck.

The tattoo artist asks, "What type of car would you like put on?"

"Better make it a 4x4," replies Elton reflectively, "it's got a lot of sh!t to get through."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-06-27 13:20:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is infront of a cow but behind a woman?"

2006-06-27 13:20:08 · 10 answers · asked by kennny 1

then check this site out
http://www.thejokeyard.com/your_momma_jokes/index.html

2006-06-27 13:06:00 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-27 13:03:07 · 11 answers · asked by glacier 4

A billiard table

2006-06-27 12:54:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-27 12:51:03 · 23 answers · asked by KatzPlace 6

Cherry tree, boil the water, a frog with twenty four eyes and three roosters to watch riki tiki taki. Expect a weather forecast. If there's rain, have a picnic. -Break-

2006-06-27 12:50:39 · 5 answers · asked by Rockstar 6

if he would like some dessert. Descartes replies "I think not" and disappears.

2006-06-27 12:49:31 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

What did one gay sperm say to the other?

2006-06-27 12:49:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

im a fourteen year old girl so don't freak me out or gross me out. please. lol

2006-06-27 12:49:12 · 6 answers · asked by Bee 4

2006-06-27 12:48:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What do you get when you cross a four hundred pound woman with a yeast infection?

2006-06-27 12:48:13 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-27 12:47:01 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

I found £100 today whilst shopping with 4 friends, i am not a mean person, so i deciced to share it out, but, i still want as much of it as possible. So i put it to the vote out of the five of us. I will share out the money, as long as at least half of us vote for the split, but i tell them i want most of it!! how can i have as much of the money as possible, and still win the vote?
I keep.......?
I give one freind.......?
I give another........?
and the last......?

2006-06-27 12:31:46 · 24 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

some hard ones to. don't give me the peter piper one or the how much could a wood chuck.

2006-06-27 12:28:32 · 12 answers · asked by brigirl207 2

2006-06-27 12:28:01 · 7 answers · asked by SiSq0.. KiLLA`s pS3 1

2006-06-27 12:27:49 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

A married couple were lying in bed one night.

The wife is curled up, ready to go to , as the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short intervals before turning back to read his book.


The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are u taking off ur clothes?"

His wife replies, "You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay. "The husband says, "No, not at all."

His wife asks angrily, "Well, then what the hell were u doing ?"

Seconds before his death he says
"I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages."

2006-06-27 12:26:10 · 14 answers · asked by ♥Angel♥ 6

10 points to the funniest!

2006-06-27 12:13:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer that you'll ask me, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

2006-06-27 12:09:51 · 10 answers · asked by chemical 1

I have Aibohphobia, why am I afraid of what i have????

2006-06-27 12:09:11 · 12 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

2006-06-27 12:07:32 · 16 answers · asked by ? 6

My husband and I love to laugh. Our senses of humor range from the most absurd to the downright nasty. Give me what you got.

2006-06-27 11:50:38 · 5 answers · asked by ShineOnYouCrazyDiamond 4

so i see this joke everywhere and my friend insists on saying it over and over again so can somebody please tell me where it comes from? or who the robot is with no arms? it goes:

what did the robot say to the centipede?
stop being a centipede!

and then it's usually followed by someone saying haha! get it! cuz the robot has no arms!

where does it come from!?

2006-06-27 11:44:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

10 points for the funniest answer. 2 points for trying.

2006-06-27 11:43:58 · 47 answers · asked by my brain hurts 5

What I said in the question.

2006-06-27 11:42:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-27 11:41:53 · 22 answers · asked by nostupidquestions 1

If you smile the word will come out by itself.

2006-06-27 11:33:42 · 24 answers · asked by DaVinci 1