Marriage & Divorce - 18 October 2006

He says the reason he cheated is that I'm not affectionate enough with him. Like, I don't anniciate sex and I don't aniciate holding his hand when we're out. Stuff like that. He also said he gets "frustrated with" me. So, now we're supposed to be working things out and then one day I saw in the computer history that he was on myspace. So I loged into his account and saw that he's back to flirting with other women. Telling them they're sexy and crap like that.

Now, just so you know: I do ALL of the cooking, cleaning and raising of the four children. All of this while running a day care out of our home. I'm up from 5a.m. and even when all of the child care kids are gone, I still have work to do. So, I'm not lazy or anything like that. I don't even ask him to take the trash out.

So, back to my question. If I'm not affectionate, is that a reason to cheat?

2006-10-18 04:18:15 · 30 answers · asked by vitamin D 2

I have been seeing my bf for 5 months. I love him so much. I have been in 2 very long term relationships before and never felt the way I do now. I want him to know that I hope to not just be his gf forever. All I can think about these days is being marrried, and being by his side forever. I want to let him know that I feel like this and thik these things, but I can't bring myself to do it. And then when we are not together, I think about how I could tell him about it constantly. What should I do?

2006-10-18 04:17:01 · 2 answers · asked by mlk615 1

2006-10-18 04:14:57 · 10 answers · asked by gabby 5

he startes drinking a pint of volka after he wakes up around 4 am. and does not stop until he passes out, then before 8pm when he comes to, he drinks some more. he can't do anything before he drinks, not even brush his teeth, go to the store let alone go to work (5 diff. jobs in less than 9 months). i am worried half to death and angry all at the same time. he won't get help. he blames me for all his problems all of them especially his drinking. sometimes i think he could be right. so now i'm depressed and he doesn't believe me. we have no kids thank God. he recents me because i will not make it easier for him to get drunk. he doesn't get violent and lately he cries everyday at least once a day. it's very sad to watch, he says he cries because i don't care about him. i already sent him to 3 diff. hospitals to get help but he signs himself out without dr. consent (he's 36), i took him to AA, he drank after the meetings then stopped going altogether. now i just feel depress

2006-10-18 04:08:18 · 24 answers · asked by non-curious 2

why did you do it? Lust? Just unhappy in you relationship? Or just for the hell of it?

2006-10-18 04:07:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

They are currently stationed at another base (Korea) and he calls her late in the morning (i.e. 230am) and she won't tell me but my freinds at the base see them all the time. I haven't accused her of anything. She told me along time ago they had an affair when she was previously married but she was not happy. She tells me she's happy now but it really bugs me knowing her past and they hang out.

2006-10-18 04:06:52 · 5 answers · asked by jamesfromwv 1

Last year about this time, my husband suddenly began obsessing about his appearance (losing weight, new clothes). He started mentioning how the girls in his accounting group thought he looked good. He went to a concert with a "group" of co-workers, and I found out two of them were quite attractive. Then I went to a company gathering with him and this young gal (who went to that concert with him) was glued to his side. My husband completely forgot I was even there. I just got this gut yuck feeling. Would this make you suspicious?

2006-10-18 04:04:43 · 28 answers · asked by gentle understanding 4

I've been married for almost three years and I'm not happy. Everyone can see how things aren't working out and how miserable I am, except for the wife who thinks everything is fine and dandy.
How do I break the news to her that I don't want to do this anymore? My family owns the house we live in, so I can't just get up and leave.

2006-10-18 04:02:33 · 18 answers · asked by curious 2

My Relationship that I am currently in is suffering because of the hurt I had in the past..I no longer Trust anyone and I know I love this person very much but I have problems showing Love for the fear of getting hurt again...In my past I was cheated on Lied to and so much more. So How do I get past all that hurt?

2006-10-18 04:00:31 · 19 answers · asked by Payton71 1

Whey doesn't he understand that it is the little things in life that are important? He concentrates more on himself than others. He does not get intimate with those who are closet to him. Instead, he finds peace and solice within and with himself. He spends the vast majority of his time with his hobbies. He says that "this"; ie: married life is overwhelming. He doesn't like all the "things"; ie: responsiblities that come along with it. He says he only likes 10% of me. He doesn't like the little "quirks" about me. He doesn't understand that I want to be "romanced"; winned and dinned. Taken out. He's a "home-body". He thinks that house work are his ways of showing love to me?!!! I say, this is all part of life. Why can't he find beauty in me; my likes and interests...he doesn't seem to understand me---WHY?

2006-10-18 03:58:00 · 25 answers · asked by Summerbead 2

My soon to be ex husband is an abusive, liar, cheater and negligent man. I filed for divorce on April 14 so he deicded to get back with an old girlfriend of his so I ask my lawyer if it matters that he is dating someone else he says no and that it is ok if I would want to do the same so I chose to. In July and then my ex finds out and begins sending threatening messages to my boyfriend saying he wants to beat the living stuff out of him. Remember he is doing the same thing also, however I don't bother his girlfriend. He was overseas when this was happening so I informed his LTC and he told my ex that he faces jail time should we press charges. Now what I am wondering is it possible for me to draw up a contract of what i want out of the divorce and set up a visitation schedule for him to see our son that he could either agree to or face the jail time? He has caused so much pain in our lives I just don't want him to think that he is going to get away with doing things everytime he does

2006-10-18 03:47:27 · 5 answers · asked by Nikki 1

I've read here before that men connect to their wives and girlfriends through sex. Well, what connection is made when a man sleeps with another woman other than his wife. I mean, if he's getting connected with this other woman, does it mean he no longer loves his wife? Doesn't it mean he doesn't want to be married to her anymore? Can cheating be forgiven? Twice?

2006-10-18 03:47:03 · 8 answers · asked by vitamin D 2

How bad was it?? Did it cause a break up??? Or was it fix by working it out????

With my husband and I, we try to work out everything in our marriage. We have never had a fight. It just has not got that far.

***Another "Chillin @ Work" question from SJ*** :)

2006-10-18 03:46:45 · 27 answers · asked by **What??** 4

I have a friend who has been in a relationship (the only relationship she's ever been in--the only man she's ever slept with) for 8 years. Hopefully, your answers will knock some sense into her.

They are professionals. He's a pretty decent guy--he treats her well, no bad habits, they enjoy each other's company, etc. But he leaves her wanting emotionally and he has a history of cheating. She's very social and he's not.

They got engaged last May. He was against the idea but agreed to get married after she said she was leaving otherwise. Since then he has got caught fooling around twice. Each time he promises not to do it again and that he's sorry. She doesn't want that to go on and stayed because "it wasn't serious (just sex) and it doesn't mean he doesn't love her."

The wedding is in Feb. and she wants a baby. I say this is all a huge mistake, but she ignores my advise and thinks she will be happy with him. I just don't want her to realize I'm right 5 years from now. Help me!

2006-10-18 03:40:29 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-18 03:27:42 · 17 answers · asked by sapphire 1

Everytime we talk about divorce he gets really pissy and wont' really lisen to me,, I keep playing the good wife but I don't think I am happy nor do I think things will get much better,, I am starting to think that maybe I should just work up the divorce papers and surprise him with them? Or do you think that's the cowardly way out?? We are in marriage therpahy but things seem to be going slow there. I just don't know what to do.

2006-10-18 03:24:55 · 16 answers · asked by B V 5

For the past five years I have been involved in a serious relationship (live in, talked marriage). Yesterday I sat down and told him I was ending the relationship, I could no longer try.
The reasons being he does not hold a job (usually no more than 3-4 weeks), takes a month or two to find another, sometimes longer (isn't even putting in applications).
He has a problem with lieing, about everything and anything.
He has cheated on me in the past, has been caught posting personal ads, and just recently had a girls phone number which he received from a girl at a drive through restaraunt. (I found it one week ago today).
This behaivior has been going on throughout the relationship, and we have broken up several times because of it. For some reason, finding that girls number just put the straw on that broke the camels back.
He doesn't believe that the reasons I stated are why I am breaking this off, or this is inappropriate. Does anyone out there think I am wrong, give your opinions.

2006-10-18 03:22:52 · 20 answers · asked by kandekizzez 4

When he asked me to marry him was one of the best things my husband has ever done for me. What about you???


***Just another "chillin @ work" question from SJ*** LOL!!

2006-10-18 03:22:23 · 10 answers · asked by **What??** 4

My husband has a problem with my part time bar job. He is insecure, he seems to think someone else will attract my attention even though I have never given him a reason to belive I would even consider cheating. (I am the product of a 7 year affair and I never knew may father till I was 23. I know how much pain it can cause.) Yet he sees nothing wrong with going to a strip club. He says my bar tending job is no different then me being a stripper. If there is nothing wrong with him going to watch a stripper how does he think it is bad for me to tend bar or beter yet be a stripper myself.

2006-10-18 03:20:48 · 16 answers · asked by runzwsizorz 3

is there available kind of exercises called " taebo" ? that we can do in the gym with lots of people and lead by profersional..

2006-10-18 03:20:18 · 3 answers · asked by confusegirl 1

Any suggestions?

2006-10-18 03:16:43 · 10 answers · asked by wizzygirl10 3

what can i do to pass this terrible period...i think i m still in love with my ex boy friend but we are not together anymore.i feel so lonely without him,sometimes i even cry...what can i do,how can i forget him???

2006-10-18 03:11:51 · 11 answers · asked by she... 1

we have been together for 5 years 3 babies and we love each other to death. he treats me like a queen!!! he has never cheated on me and has no desire to- however in my mind somewhere i feel that men cant turn it down if it's being thrown in their face. i guess i am a little insecure but i know im the one. ij truly believe that he wouldnt ruin our family for a $2.00 hoe. any one out there agree that a batchler party is not needed for a man about to get married?

2006-10-18 03:08:56 · 21 answers · asked by A Proud Marine's Daughter 3

Hey everyone! My boyfriend is going to ask me to marry him soon, but we dont know where to go to find the prefect ring. Im from the Foxboro Masss area..We dont want to go way over o ur limit. but i want a nice one. does anyone have an idea on where he should go to find an affordable but nice nice ring?

2006-10-18 03:04:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Me and my Husband both are busy people, we dont spend much time together.
When we do he is moody. I dont know what is wronge with him.we have only been married 1 year.
I just want him to be in love with me again.
Any sugestions?

2006-10-18 03:00:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

"why does my wife hate me?"

2006-10-18 02:51:57 · 26 answers · asked by jeremy k 1

I finally ended things with my separated boyfriend after a year and a half. He finally told me that he wanted to work things out with his wife but I could still move in with him. I told him I didn't want to ruin his life or any chance he has with his wife, so I wouldn't move in.

I am packing up the rest of my belongings today. I was supposed to be moving in with him tomorrow, but will begin the long drive home instead.

My heart is still hurting and I am writing this instead of writing or calling him. This is the hardest thing I've had to do. In my gut, I know that it's right, but I can't stop wondering about him.

So, tell me why I should drive home tomorrow and never look back.

2006-10-18 02:50:32 · 32 answers · asked by torn 3

Or are you completely satisfied with your current spouse? Do you ever wonder what if I had stayed with ***** how different my life would be?

2006-10-18 02:50:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can anyone please help me. He cant go back home as his wife had a affair, should he be going to the hostel?

2006-10-18 02:50:01 · 23 answers · asked by Caasi 1

He owns property. I don't. I have a car payment. He doesn't. I bring home over $800 per week, including my child support from my girls' dad. He brings home about $500 per week, after paying his child support. My two girls live with us full time, his three boys live with us 50% of the time. We agreed that what he had before our marriage is his (and his children's), and I signed away my rights of ownership on our house (after an argument), since that was the only way he would agree to stay together. I am trying to be understanding, but now I am not willing to pool our money together, since...if he decides to "put me out", he will have the house, and the account would be in both of our names...so I will be up the creek. I want to know what others have done. I want to keep things together. I know that as time passes, he will get over his "baggage" from his first marriage, and we will be able to operate "as one".

2006-10-18 02:49:04 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous