Did an affair happen or not?

Question

Last year about this time, my husband suddenly began obsessing about his appearance (losing weight, new clothes). He started mentioning how the girls in his accounting group thought he looked good. He went to a concert with a "group" of co-workers, and I found out two of them were quite attractive. Then I went to a company gathering with him and this young gal (who went to that concert with him) was glued to his side. My husband completely forgot I was even there. I just got this gut yuck feeling. Would this make you suspicious?

Answer 1

Yeah it would raise red flags. Not neccessarily that he was cheating yet, but that he soon would. I know if i was sleeping with someones husband (not like i ever would) and i met their wife I would act cold and aloof, not stay glued to his side.

She sounds like shes into your husband in a big way and he likes this new attention. He may cheat, she may put the moves on him when your not around and whamo heres an affair.

The fact that he completely ignores you when shes around sounds reassuring, because most men will hide affections for those they've had affairs with, not out right ignore their wives when their mistresses are around. I would defenatly be weary though.

Answer 2

At this point I would say "no". You will notice a few of these other stooges here are so quick to condemn but offer no reasoning to solidify their decision.

Based upon what you've said it looks as though he's "preening". You know...like a Bantam rooster strutting about the barnyard in front of the hens. You have nothing substantial like computer antics, phone records, text messaging, long hours away that are unexplained.

Now is there a possibility for an affair? Oh most certainly. In fact...the groundwork is being laid. Now granted he may be doing this because it's a great boost to a man's ego and sexual attractiveness. We all like to be admired by the opposite sex. However I would not be so quick to jump to conclusions just yet. You can address this by telling him what you see and what you think (not being unfaithful though....you walk in an area that if he has not he'll get his hackles up). Using the "preening" remark may get him jerked but he probably won't deny it or if he does it'll be a very weak denial at best.
Don't take the route of assuming that he IS fooling around with another woman. If you do then you'll end up lonely, bitter and hag-like like the rest of the females here who say "Yes!" and offer no reasoning. Men who offer the "yes" with no explanations are just stupes who are trying to impress....and are no doubt guilty of the same offense.

Answer 3

well, sometimes married men or even women, do get an itch or two after they've been married for, say, 7 years. They want to feel that they are still desirable, it's really very very common among middle-aged career persons. Symptoms of the 7-year-itch includes preening, flirting and the occassional dart with danger when the spouse is not looking. Most of the time, they are harmless ego trips. So, just bring him back to ground zero, tell him how much you love him, go for romantic dinners, at least once a week. Spoil him a little. Give him surprises, dance sexy with him during intimate moments ... and be pleasantly surprised yourself!

Answer 4

Well I experienced the same thing, somewhat, every time i would go out to with my husband these girls would always come up and talk to him but never said anything out of the way. Anyway last year he went deer hunting for a weekend and he dressed up before he left but i never suspected anything, well he came home and everything was fine and then 6 days later I got a call saying he had cheated on me. I got angry and kicked him out, but we got back together and now things are fine he has really changed. I always had that gut feeling though and sure enough my worst night mare came true. Ask him about it and tell him that you are questioning his trust. Try to judge his facial expressions when you ask him.

Answer 5

If your gut is telling you it's so...it's probably true. I have had a very similar experience in my first marriage....it sounds almost just alike. He never admitted that he had an affair..but I just knew he did. After the divorce...he kinda admitted it. And he has already been in a second marriage and divorced again. He jumps from one girl to another. I have no doubt that he had an affair. Good luck. Focus on you.....because "You" is what is important. If you can't get proof....just let it play itself out. Don't ruin the life you have on a guess....things could get a lot better in the future...and he may learn his lesson. Or..if you are in a position to leave...and you think that is what you want.....leave and find someone who will treat you like gold.

Answer 6

I would be seriously pissed off over being disrespected at the party however he may have just had hisself a little mid life crisis and wanted to be appealing to these ding bats doesn't mean he was actually stuffing the turkey just keep an eye out and don't accuse before your sure the fact that he took you to tha party so they all knew he is married is a good sign even if he was a jerk when he got there

Answer 7

I always trust my instincts and I think you should too considering the changes he went thru earlier. Why dont you just come right out and ask him. Be prepared to discuss options if he is in another relationship ie. open marriage (this way you have options too), you find yourself a "buddy", seperation, divorce etc. be prepared to discuss before you bring up the subject othewise a fight is inevitable as he will be defensive.

Answer 8

IF you have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach I think you need to investigate this further. Now when I say that I do not mean accusing etc. Sit back watch look and listen you will get all of your answers. Good luck

Answer 9

Any time someone changes there habits, be suspicious. If what he is doing is making you pay him more attention, try it yourself. Maybe, if you started taking extra care of yourself and men start paying you compliments, he would wake up. It always works for me. It has something to do with their male instincts. Another stallion trying to steal his mare. If he is sure of you, he's free to add to the herd. When my man flirts or just talks with another woman, I usually go talk to another man. Here he comes!

Answer 10

His self esteem gone up because all the worker is tell him how nice he look.also he probably is trying to play you now with other women .I think he sleep with the women from his job,and he need to be dump you go out with him and he leave you and weNT hang with some other women,I d,nt care if he work with her or not at that moment was suppose to be you time.