Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

Subject : How can a student pass?
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has
only 365 days.

A typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days.
--Balance 313 days.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
--Balance 263 days.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 121 days.
--Balance 141 days.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days
--Balance 126 days.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30 days.
--Balance 96 days.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days
--Balance 81 days.

7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
--Balance 46 days.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
--Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days.
--Balance 3 days.

10. Movies and fun! ctions atleast 2 days.
--Balance 1 day.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.

Then "How can a student pass"

2007-02-07 21:35:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does'nt matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

2007-02-07 21:29:21 · 17 answers · asked by Jay A 3

2007-02-07 21:24:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

A guy is in a bar with his friends. After a while of shooting pool & drinking, he whispers something to his friends.

A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender & asks for a shot of tequila.

After he takes the shot he says to the bartman ''I'd like to make a bet with you.''

The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a betting mood.''

So the man bets the bartender £1,000 that he can p!ss in the shot glass placed all the way across the room, fill it up & not spill a drop.

The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.''

So the man walks to the other side of the room & places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender & starts p!ssing.
He doesn't even get a drop in. He p!sses all over the place. In the bartender's face, all over the barstools, everywhere.

After he was done p!ssing, the bartender laughed and said, ''You owe me £1,000.''

The man paid the money with a big smile on his face.

2007-02-07 21:17:55 · 17 answers · asked by Jay A 3

this is A JOKE!

2007-02-07 21:01:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-07 21:01:35 · 18 answers · asked by Stammerman! 5

2007-02-07 20:20:19 · 7 answers · asked by mikey 1

Sally is in her home making love with her lover when suddenly her husband came back. She quickly put on some ceiling plaster on her lover and ask him to pose like a statue.When her husband came in the room and notice the statue, he ask her "why this thing doing here" and she reply..."I saw it the other day at Mary's bedroom and i thought it was awesome so i bought the same one here". The statue remain there till late at night. Her husband get up at 2am in the morning..go downstairs, get a glass of water and go right straight to the statue and said "Here you go, you must be very thirsty standing here for long hour,the other time i didnt even get a glass of water when at Mary's place."

2007-02-07 20:01:26 · 24 answers · asked by † Iríšh † 7

2007-02-07 19:54:35 · 24 answers · asked by MARGARET L 1

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!

2007-02-07 19:53:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Once upon a time,a papa tomato was with his son baby tomato in the fields. However,papa tomato was walking faster and faster,baby tomato couldn't walk the same pace as him. Out of a rage,papa tomato said "KETCHUP!(Catch up!)" and baby tomato was crushed into...ketchup.(catch up)

-_-

2007-02-07 19:48:54 · 7 answers · asked by basshunter_poka 1

for answering a q's in jokes my answer was lol 10/10 ,whats wrong with that i liked the joke whats going on, the q even asked for a rating

2007-02-07 19:32:31 · 9 answers · asked by conan 4

2007-02-07 19:30:02 · 11 answers · asked by StoneAlliance 1

Once upon a time,a papa tomato was with his son baby tomato in the fields. However,papa tomato was walking faster and faster,baby tomato couldn't walk the same pace as him. Out of a rage,papa tomato said "KETCHUP!(Catch up!)" and baby tomato was crushed into...ketchup.(catch up)

-_-

2007-02-07 19:19:47 · 9 answers · asked by basshunter_poka 1

What did the cat say to the other cat?
We cant walk thru here a black man passed by

LOLOLOLOL

2007-02-07 19:14:59 · 20 answers · asked by blah 1

It is a brain twister

2007-02-07 19:06:21 · 17 answers · asked by sheetalthm 1

2007-02-07 18:48:40 · 16 answers · asked by Julie B 2

I need a short story ,riddle, joke or whatever that will crack anybodys liver in half!!! Please put where you got that joke from!!!
(web sites)

2007-02-07 18:27:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-07 17:53:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clue: This is a Riddle made for a celebrity as a insult by Super Dave..... Think and take your time, Good Luck!!!!!!!

2007-02-07 17:26:13 · 14 answers · asked by ltnscorpionking 2

A Very Old & Smart Riddle..... Please answer the riddle correctly , some people when posted something similiar like this couldn't be smart enough to be pacific......It's has three answers , not one!!!!

2007-02-07 17:21:44 · 14 answers · asked by ltnscorpionking 2

jokes that can lighten a person who has a low spirit because she couldn't do something.. you know cheer up kind of joke (humor) take people out of a depressive state

2007-02-07 17:15:05 · 9 answers · asked by Lee S 2

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

2007-02-07 17:04:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

15 letters.. probably VERY cheezy

2007-02-07 16:48:58 · 5 answers · asked by The Answerer 2

see in the dark ?

2007-02-07 16:43:54 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-07 16:41:55 · 13 answers · asked by Hanz 2

Three priests are on a ship. When it starts to sink the first one yells, "Quick, save the children!" the second one: "Screw the children" The third one: "Do we have time?"

2007-02-07 16:41:02 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A brunette walks into the doctor's office and says, "My body hurts wherever I touch it."

The doctor says, "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow, and she screams in agony. Then she pushes her knee and screams. Then she pushes her ankle and screams.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you? You're really a blonde."

She says, "Yeah. How did you know?"

He says, "Your finger is broken."

2007-02-07 16:36:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Examples:
rat, tar, art
own, now, won

2007-02-07 16:26:30 · 23 answers · asked by azº 4

That once you go mexican you will never want sex again.

2007-02-07 16:25:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous