what are some good joke?

Question

jokes that can lighten a person who has a low spirit because she couldn't do something.. you know cheer up kind of joke (humor) take people out of a depressive state

Answer 1

During a beautiful Sunday morning church service, the devil suddenly appeared standing next to the piano. In fear, all the congregation ran from the church, with the exception of one little old man.
DEVIL: Do you know who I am?
OLD MAN: Yes, I know who you are.
DEVIL: Do you know the evil powers that I possess?
OLD MAN: Yep, sure do.
DEVIL: And I don't scare you?
OLD MAN: Nope, you sure don't.
DEVIL: And why not?
OLD MAN: 'Cause I've been married to your sister for 47 years!

Answer 2

This is one of my favourites, hope it makes her laugh...

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, I brought ten
apples. The king then explained the trial to him. You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or youll be eaten.

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8.... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it? The
second one replied, I couldnt help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples.

Answer 3

$ubliminal College Letter:

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$, and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need. $o you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love,Your $on.
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Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task. You can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad ---

Answer 4

I was driving going home from work at 12:00 a .m.I saw a bunch of girls on the next lane smiling at me,so I smiled back and wave at them.They plush a placard that says ,"honk 3x and shout I am horny!! So I honked 3x and shout I am corny! I will not shout I am horny,, That will be the day, a sexy 98 years young woman will be horny on the street with no naked man on the spot..

Answer 5

A bear and a rabbit are in the woods and both have to poo. While pooing, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks." Do you have trouble with poo sticking to your fur?"... The rabbit thinks for a moment then replies "no" . So the bear wiped his a@% with the rabbit. Hope that will cheer her up!

Answer 6

yo mums so poor....

When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.

Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.

When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.

The building society repossessed her cardboard box.

She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers

She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.

I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.

When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'

I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."

I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"

I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."

Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...

When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...

She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Even Beggars give you money.

She bounces food stamps.

She can't even afford to pay attention.

She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.

She uses chewing gum as a band aid.

She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.

She uses white-out as a tooth filler.

She can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...

Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!


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Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.

Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.

Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****.

Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.

Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed.

Answer 7

what's the difference between a duck and a grape??

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they are both purple...except for the duck!!


ha
ha
ha
ha
LOL

Answer 8

IF BIG BREASTED WOMEN WORK AT HOOTERS WHERE DO 1 LEGGED WOMEN WORK?


IHOP

Answer 9

knock knock.
who's there?