Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

At a garage sale, Alisha sold her CDs for $29.00, her stuffed dog for $7.65, and her old tricycle for $12.80. How much more did she sell her CDs for than for her tricycle?

hello dudes,
i need the answer to this question. (yes, i kno im dumb)

XOXOXOXOXOXO
Thanks

2007-01-29 08:46:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, yo' momma......was born.

2007-01-29 08:36:37 · 15 answers · asked by .::emma::. 3

How did Dairy Queen (U.S. restaurant) get Pregnant?





Burger King showed her it's Whopper.

2007-01-29 08:35:54 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

a mom of 3 boys was throwning a b-day party outside for the youngest. when she went inside the house for a minute some kids came by and replaced the silver candy pellts for bb pellets and ran off. after the party the first boy went running to his mom yelling ma ma i wee weed a bb. an hour later the second boy came in yelling ma ma i we weed a bb. another hour later the third boy came in yelling. and she said let me guess you we weed a bb? no i was playing w/ myself and i shot the dog!!!

2007-01-29 08:34:15 · 11 answers · asked by i hate undies! 4

I need help with my fingering in Piano. I am having trouble with the cross over on my left hand. My instructor told me that you cross over to your middle finger. But you have 3 fingers on the left side and 4 on the right side? I am confused. I need to know C major, D, E, A, F majors. Can you help me? Can you break it down finger wise? I really need someones help. Do you reccomend a book? Best answer that I can follow gets 10 points!

2007-01-29 08:31:24 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

All four of them are now dead, one was murdered...

2007-01-29 08:23:11 · 8 answers · asked by Gordon B 4

There was this 8 year old kid who lived with his 82 year old grandma. He had been living with her for some time, and he thought, that with all the work she does, he could at least make her a cup of coffee in the morning.

So he woke up early one day, and made a cup of coffee and brought it to his grandma. She took one drink of it and died instantly. He called 911, and the paramedics rushed over there.

While examining the grandma, one of the paramedics pulls out a little plastic green soldier from her throat. After the paramedic learns that the kid made her coffee and put that soldier in there, of course, the first question is "why". The kid answered, "Grandma always said, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup'!"

2007-01-29 08:20:14 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

those who get right answer i will select best answer.

2007-01-29 08:16:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

The wife asked the husband,can she have
$20 to get a chicken,the husband took the wife over to the mirror,
and gets a $20 bill out,he puts it in front of the reflection,
and goes "baby,the one in the mirror is yours,and the one in my hand is mine!"
So,the next day,he comes back from work,returning home to see chickens,an turkey,from one side of the table to the other!
So he asked his wife were she got all this from,
the wife takes the husband over to the mirror,an pulls up her skirt and says "Honey,the one in the mirror is yours,but the one here is the butchers!!"

2007-01-29 08:14:42 · 54 answers · asked by *Å®åßîåñ P®îñÇꧧ ©* 4

A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile, the bartender screams and demands he get the man eating creature out of there!

The man tries to calm the bartender down and says he is very well trained to prove it the man whipped out his c--k and put it in the crocodile's mouth, then he hit the crocodile over the head and after a few good smacks he pulls it out and shows the bar tender,

"Look, no marks."

The bartender is still unsure so the man asks...

"Would anyone else like to try?"

The bar is quiet and a few minutes later a blonde in the corner stands up and says...

"I will but don't smack me on the head!"

2007-01-29 08:04:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

it's supposed to be a kitchen object and i cant figure it out

2007-01-29 08:01:51 · 4 answers · asked by XoSexierDenYewXo 1

Question, Why do women have legs?

Answer, Have you seen the mess a slug makes?

2007-01-29 07:58:28 · 17 answers · asked by abraxas5597 2

2007-01-29 07:58:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds' legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.
The student looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that the student threw his test on the professor's desk and walked to the door.
The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know every student's name so as the student reached the door the professor called, "Mister, what's your name?"
The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, "You tell me buddy! You tell me!"

2007-01-29 07:52:37 · 14 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

0 4 18 48 100 180 ____

A.- What number comes after 180?
B.- What is the tenth term of this sequence?
C._ What is the formula using n as the number of the term that fits this sequence?

10 pts 4 the 1st correct ans.

2007-01-29 07:52:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

- What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
- What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
- What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
- What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
- Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
- What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
- You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
- What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
- What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
- How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
- Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
- What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSEs?
A liar.
- What do you say to a Chav with a job?
Can I have fries with that?

2007-01-29 07:50:02 · 21 answers · asked by Ecko 4

my mates so thick !, took him to the earls court motor show one year!!!
lost him for 5hrs !!!
found him looking around the car park???

2007-01-29 07:47:02 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-29 07:46:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is there any boy or girl name without a vowel letter

2007-01-29 07:44:15 · 22 answers · asked by gmn 1

2007-01-29 07:40:40 · 16 answers · asked by The Boss 2

2007-01-29 07:38:45 · 5 answers · asked by some black dude with no life 1

He KNEW the beans were magic and he swapped them for a bloody COW! Why would someone do that???

2007-01-29 07:38:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-29 07:33:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

It ain't no rock, It's a meteor dumb-dumb

2007-01-29 07:27:43 · 15 answers · asked by Doug 4

This sure made me laugh. Hope it does the same for you.


The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her
class one
morning and she asked the question, "When you die and
go to heaven which
part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your
hands." "Why do
you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied,
"Because when you pray, you
hold your hands together in front of you and God just
takes you hands
first." "What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I
think it's your
legs." The nun looked at him with the strangest look
on her face. "Now,
Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your
legs?" Little Johnny said,
"Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom the
other night. Mummy had
her legs straight up in the air and she was saying,
"Oh God, I'm coming!"

"If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The nun fainted.

2007-01-29 07:26:21 · 11 answers · asked by imahlah 6

bike or a car? Did you stop or keep going? What did the stop sign feel like when you hit it btw?

2007-01-29 07:25:36 · 5 answers · asked by some black dude with no life 1

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.

The man thought, "Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one Dad." gasped the still wide-eyed lad.
Just as the father is preparing his birds and bees story, his son asks -

"How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

2007-01-29 07:25:18 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

heres some sentences to test your language skills, correct them


my little sister hasn't breaked no new toys in a month as a result dad gived her an irish sweater



no she don't think the cell phone has rang this morning





the camp counselor lead us in a barn the barn was large and dark we eated lunch there and sung songs





some dinosaurs lived during the cretaceous period certain species are the smaller dinosaurs that have ever lived

2007-01-29 07:19:14 · 10 answers · asked by moneyman$$ 2

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1996, Cosmo Quad Turbo RX-7. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it sets him back $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"

The young man replies "A 1996 Cosmo Quad Turbo RX-7. It cost $500,000.

"That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.

The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside? "Sure," replies the owner.

So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"

Just then, the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320 MPH.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoossh! Something whips by him, going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my 7?" the young man asks himself.

Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped! "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun an RX-7?"

Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and good grief, it is the old man!!! Of course the moped and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man groans and replies "Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"

2007-01-29 07:17:21 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-29 07:15:26 · 21 answers · asked by Dumpster Diver aka "DD" 2