Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

There are 2 guys in a car, 1 dog, and a hobo, they are in the middle of the desert and nobody knows how they got there. They look around and not a soul in sight. They wonder if they are going to survive and they start to cry. all of the sudden, the hobo says something. The other two guys are amazed at what he said. 1 hour later they are in vegas gambling and having a blast. WHAT DID THE HOBO SAY!!!

2006-11-20 12:02:34 · 11 answers · asked by mr. fancy pants 3

2006-11-20 11:46:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-20 11:35:48 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm an invisible film on your teeth and i eat what you eat. What am I?

2006-11-20 11:16:11 · 11 answers · asked by Slappy 2

2 men apply for the same job in London. One is an Englishman ( Tom ) the other is Irish ( Mick ). The interviewer ( English ) tells them that as he's a fair man he'll set 10 test questions on a sheet, give them 20 minutes to complete the test, and whoever gets the most correct gets the job. After 20 minutes they hand their sheets in. The interviewer says......'You've both done remarkably well, with 9 out of ten each, but on hindsight I feel i've got to give the job to Tom'. Mick goes berserk....'Call yourself a fair man'?...'You're English, he's English'...'We both get one question wrong & the Engishman gets the job'. 'Where's the fairness in that'?...The interviewer says...'Well for question 9 Tom's put....sorry I don't know the answer to this question'... 'for question 9.... you've put.......'Neither do I'

2006-11-20 11:15:15 · 10 answers · asked by kev3753 1

I'll add the answer later as added details. That way the first one to answer correctly gets BA.

Three straight men are sleeping in the same bed. The guy on the right is having a very erotic dream about his wife. The guy on the left is having an extremely erotic dream about his girlfriend.

What's the guy in the middle dreaming about?

(IMPORTANT! This joke is racy, but not dirty. NO FOUL LANGUAGE IS NECESSARY TO ANSWER IT! I'll report you myself, if you do!)

2006-11-20 11:10:10 · 18 answers · asked by revenueforge 4

Its from larry the cable guy and I never get tired of it!!!
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I went fishing in Miami and caught a cuban!


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hahahahahahaha I <3 it and if you hate it or wanna be mean to me just know that I for-warned you and you still came! If you don't like it say 'I don't like it' or 'It is one the the lamest/shortest jokes I've ever heard!' if you love it then you do! Either way have a good night!

2006-11-20 11:05:58 · 9 answers · asked by Shorty 4

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful sexy blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from
my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my
buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet
celery???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's BLOODY school teacher."

2006-11-20 11:00:37 · 18 answers · asked by Warlock Fiend 4

a man went up the mountain on a friday ,stayed a week and came back on the same friday ...how?

2006-11-20 10:57:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was a man with seven wives going to st ives. seven wives had seven cats. seven cats had seven sacks, seven sacks had seven kittens. kittens, cats sacks and wives how many were going to st ives?

2006-11-20 10:57:00 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Neji is from Naruto and Inuyasha is from the show... well Inuyasha!!

2006-11-20 10:48:15 · 4 answers · asked by lotr122892 1

2006-11-20 10:44:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

the mother in law were walking along the prom at Blackpool. The mother in law slipped and fell into the water, the wife shouted at me, well dont just stand there and watch her drown. I said your right love I'd better not look !!!!!!

2006-11-20 10:42:37 · 8 answers · asked by Shredder 6

When you wan't to be humorus, What good jokes should you no?

2006-11-20 10:42:05 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

have farted in the bathtub and popped the bubbles...lol!

How many of you have accidently farted in a public restroom while you were peeing...,be honest!! lol

2006-11-20 10:38:16 · 3 answers · asked by dazed*n*confused 5

Ok this is tricky and dont think dirty
i need 2 words.
the first word starts with b and the 2nd ends with b.
the phrase is 2 syllables.
it is something you give to a person

2006-11-20 10:33:10 · 9 answers · asked by lucky_balla69 2

Trivia question

2006-11-20 10:30:41 · 9 answers · asked by TRINA 2

May the funniest and most original one win!

2006-11-20 10:29:18 · 7 answers · asked by Wise1 3

there was this blond who wanted to make some money so she went to a playground and took this 7 year-old boy she stuck a piece of paper on the boy's shirt it said:
if you want your son back bring me $100,000 tomorrow at this park, i will be at the slide and i am a blond

and she sent the boy to his mother

the next day the boy came to the park with a paper bag with $100,000 and a note that said:
how could do this to a fellow blond?

2006-11-20 10:08:12 · 17 answers · asked by ♥*~me~*♥ 3

"What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?"

2006-11-20 10:05:00 · 8 answers · asked by ordinari_grrrl 1

What?

2006-11-20 10:03:11 · 10 answers · asked by angelic1302 3

The once was a woman from Devises
Who had knockers of 2 different sizes
One of them was small...and no good at all...
While the other one was huge and won prizes!

2006-11-20 09:46:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-20 09:43:05 · 3 answers · asked by loreen s 2

someone needs to tell him that he's an egg. what the hell is he doing on the wall.

2006-11-20 09:41:57 · 12 answers · asked by harmony 7

Okay... I am going to watch casino royal or happy feet.

Tell me if happy feet or Casino w.e is better?

2006-11-20 09:40:55 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

he yelled at the student saying, "hey what the f**k are you doing?" , "I'm just checking if the f**king answer is correct", answered the student, and the professor replied, "OKAY! Go ahead".

2006-11-20 09:40:53 · 6 answers · asked by swing 2

2006-11-20 09:34:39 · 28 answers · asked by boozernight 1

a little paper bag went to the Doctors as he was feeling ill.
The doc said" i'm sorry to tell you but you are HIV positive"
"I can't be I'm just a little paper bag"
"Have you had unprotected sex"
"No i'm just a little paper bag"
Are you homosexual"
"No i'm only a little paper bag"
"Do you sleep around"
" No i'm a little paper bag i told ya"
"Well" said the Doctor.
wait for it....................................
...................................................
...................................................
...................................................
your mother must have been a carrier.

2006-11-20 09:34:21 · 7 answers · asked by chris w. 7

Yes or no?

2006-11-20 09:23:50 · 9 answers · asked by loreen s 2

A trucker in Essex stops for a red light, where a blonde jumps out of her car and knocks on his door.
"Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load", she warns him breathlessly.

The trucker ignores her and continues down the street.

When he stops at the next red light, the girl again catches up, jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly: "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her and continues down the street.

At the third red light, all out of breath the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the window again.
"Hi, my name is Heather", she repeats, "and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and as she lowers it, he says:
"Hi, my name is Jack and I'm driving a fu***ng gritter!"

2006-11-20 09:21:03 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous