Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

I know what a lap dog is, but what exactly do you do with a pussycat?

2006-09-25 22:54:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

While hemeroids are in the atmosphere?

2006-09-25 22:24:34 · 3 answers · asked by sophia 4

I wonder

2006-09-25 22:13:49 · 18 answers · asked by david 1

I wonder

2006-09-25 22:09:40 · 34 answers · asked by david 1

Where does an ant go when it is hungry???

2006-09-25 22:09:29 · 20 answers · asked by Sumana M 1

help

2006-09-25 22:07:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

who is killing someone

2006-09-25 22:06:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

tell me a short joke short

2006-09-25 22:06:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

2006-09-25 22:04:53 · 14 answers · asked by david 1

why some people cheat like create lot of id and ask a question and choose thier own answer as the best

2006-09-25 22:04:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I wonder

2006-09-25 22:01:43 · 15 answers · asked by david 1

how can a man be born in march. have a birthday in may. be born before his father. and marry his mother?

2006-09-25 21:54:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-25 21:46:26 · 6 answers · asked by Sumana M 1

I once ate a combo that I found in between the cushions of a couch. It was nacho cheese flavored.

2006-09-25 21:34:26 · 9 answers · asked by RIDLEY 6

I recently bought a fridge freezer from Currys, and after I had paid for it they asked me for my address to arrange delivery. I told them that I lived between Gateshead and Hexham, and if they rang me a week next Tuesday between 8am and 7pm, I night be able to give them a six hour slot when I would be able to take delivery. When they rang me, I told them that my house was out of stock and they should ring back on Saturday. The shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it, Currys?

2006-09-25 21:33:53 · 9 answers · asked by ztt_66 2

Did you hear what happen to the midget that walk between the big blondes legs.

He got a fair crack in the mouth!

2006-09-25 21:30:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

nothing. the stingray just stabbed him in the chest.

2006-09-25 21:30:06 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

LAST WEEK my girlfriend walked in on me whilst I was lying stark naked, masturbating over a copy of Razzle. She said she was disgusted and what I was doing undermined our relationship. If I had walked in on her and found her masturbating stark naked, perhaps playing with a vibrator, rather than undermine it, I think it would strengthen our relationship no end. Honestly, I'll never understand women.

2006-09-25 21:23:13 · 19 answers · asked by ztt_66 2

WHY DON'T NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time.

2006-09-25 21:20:48 · 9 answers · asked by ztt_66 2

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
She sleepily replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband is out for fishing in this rubbish weather."

2006-09-25 21:19:59 · 11 answers · asked by Pd 6

So a kid comes home one day with a round wheel of cheese. His mom asked "what kind of cheese is that son?" The little boy answers: "Its Nacho Cheese." The mom asked, "How do you know its Nacho Cheese?" As to which the boy replies "well i was walking down by the hill when the cheese came rolling down towards me. Behind it, the little black boy was yelling "Thats not 'cho cheese! Thats not 'cho cheese!"".

2006-09-25 21:14:35 · 14 answers · asked by evi 2

So... Let's take that silly wonderful theme as far as you would like. Have a ton of fun with the rhythm, idea, and everything... Let your imagination fly!!!!!!!! Nothing but fun ahead...

2006-09-25 21:12:35 · 1 answers · asked by LYNN MARIE 1

The van stopped in time but the CB antenna unhooked in the rear and snapped forward like a whip. It hit the woman between the eyes. She died a month later. Why?










She died from van aerial disease.

2006-09-25 21:01:26 · 6 answers · asked by al p 3

( got this from the Comedy Central web site)

There was a Catholic a Babtist and a Mormon all sitting around discussing their families.

The Babtist said,"I have four boys and my wife and I are expecting another in a few months. We are going to have our own little basketball team".

The Catholic replied,"That's good but my wife and I have ten boys and are expecting the eleventh in any time now. We can have our own football team".

The Mormon said, "Gentlemen,gentlemen. I have 17 wives one more and I will have my very own golf course".

2006-09-25 20:28:03 · 7 answers · asked by unforgettable_1 3

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death.

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.

At the séance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?" A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you."

Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?"

"It's beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time."

"What do you do all day?" asked Martha.

"Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m."

2006-09-25 20:15:31 · 10 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started to discuss the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

"I know!" said a third...

"They use it to find the fire hydrant!"

2006-09-25 20:08:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman met a guy in a bar they like each other and goes together to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos, on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok". She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it. he says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his manhood. She jumps back with shock. "I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!" He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".

2006-09-25 19:37:24 · 18 answers · asked by Pd 6

A man and his girlfriend are driving down the highway. The man asks 'If I drive 100 mph, will you take off your clothes?' and she agrees. So the man drives 100 mph and his girlfriend strips. The man is so busy looking at his girlfriend that he crashes into a tree. The car flips over, trapping the man and all of his girlfriend's clothes. All that is free of the car is the man's girlfriend and one of his shoes. The man yells, 'You have to go get help. Go to that gas station over there.' His girlfriend says, 'Are you kidding me? I'm naked.' 'Well,' replies the man 'Take my shoe over there, cover up yourself, and go get help.' So the woman covers herself with the shoe and goes to the gas station. She says to an attendant 'You have to help me. My boyfriend's trapped' 'I'm sorry ma'am' the attendant replies, 'he's too far in.'

2006-09-25 19:36:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is one word that will make him the most happiest man in the world. He asked, " Will you marry me?"
No! was the answer.
That's the word!

2006-09-25 19:31:50 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Last time, we had this following riddle:

What happens when doctors get old?
A: They lose their patience!

Heh. And here is today's riddle:

When would you want to sleep in the fireplace?

Have fun! :)

2006-09-25 19:30:48 · 5 answers · asked by iamigloo 6