Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

If so should we chew our food well ?
If we chew our food well won't fiber turn into paste?

2006-09-14 03:00:06 · 13 answers · asked by curious 4

Two cannibals sat down to lunch. One cannibal said "Gee I hate my mother-in-law, the other one replied "then just eat the vegtabels.

2006-09-14 02:59:58 · 13 answers · asked by marge8710 2

Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go toheaven?"
The man replied, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked another man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," he too replied
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go rightnow."

2006-09-14 02:54:45 · 13 answers · asked by Pd 6

Billy walked in on his parents quarreling. "B*tch!" shouted Dad. "B*stard!" Mom retorted. Billy asked, "Mom, what's a b*tch & b*stard?". Smiling, Mom said, "B*stard is a gentleman & b*tch is a lady". Later, Billy & his Dad were sunbathing when they heard their neighbours doing it. "Put your c*ck in my c*nt". Curious, Billy asked, "Dad, what is a c*ck & c*nt?". Embarassed, Dad answered, "A c*ck is a coat & a c*nt is a hat". That evening, Billy's parents throw a big X'mas party. Billy watched Dad shaving when he cut himself. "Sh*t!" he exclaimed & hastily explained, " Sh*it is the name of my shaving cream". Billy went to the kitchen & watched Mom cutting the turkey when she cut herself "F*ck!" & immediately said, "F*ck means cut. Billy, why don't you go & greet our guests?". Billy went into the living room where all the guests assembled. Taking the mic, Billy said, "Hi, you bitches & bastards. Give me your c*cks & c*nts. Dad is wiping the sh*t off his face & Mom's f*cking the turkey"

2006-09-14 02:50:46 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st lion says "man you look awful,you been eating lately?"
2nd lion says "yeah i eat a couple of africans everyday"
1st lion says" well how do you hunt them?"
2nd lion says "I sneak up on them and jump out of the bushes and roar"
1st lion says "well thats the problem,when you do that you scare the sh*t out of them and all thats left is lips and tennis shoes"

2006-09-14 02:36:02 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Donald'O Connor,Call me a cab.Cosmo shrugs his shoulders and says OK-you're a cab.Is this the funniest joke ever or is the My dog has no nose joke from Monty Python even funnier.

2006-09-14 02:27:51 · 12 answers · asked by Hugh M 2

2006-09-14 02:03:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Me and my brotherinlaw send each other rude, crude and vulgar e-cards....It's all in fun. Can anybody suggest a web-site for ecards that are not "nice"...Thanks for your help!

2006-09-14 01:57:26 · 3 answers · asked by nicknamegone 1

If there is a notice board in the park sayin:
Keep off the grass.
How did it get there in the first place?

2006-09-14 01:51:11 · 22 answers · asked by waco 1

2006-09-14 01:46:20 · 10 answers · asked by wolf.cllan 1

2006-09-14 01:40:51 · 10 answers · asked by yahaya o 1

It's Time To Pop The Poppin Mama Jokes! Best One Wins!

2006-09-14 01:09:06 · 14 answers · asked by Dallas M 2

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for 30 minutes, during which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
They approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes. Soon, there was lots of deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have 15 more minutes," said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even wider, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down, and I'll go on its head."

he he he..

2006-09-14 00:48:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-14 00:45:36 · 20 answers · asked by ann b 2

2006-09-14 00:42:37 · 16 answers · asked by bobblu 1

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.

"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Where?"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.

2006-09-14 00:34:12 · 23 answers · asked by curious 5

My mom read us this story as a child. A troll or orge asked this question..........

"What creature sometimes has four legs, sometimes has two legs and sometimes has three legs........what is this creature?"

In the story the person got it right and so he lived.

2006-09-14 00:10:30 · 13 answers · asked by krayzmom 4

I would like to have something very thin and small keep going inside me every tight and deep very often to get relieved.

2006-09-14 00:09:15 · 15 answers · asked by policeyarlagadda 1

An older couple go to the Doctor. He asks the husband if
Sex is still good,
And if he has any questions.

In fact, I do," said the old man. "After having sex with
My wife I am
Usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her
The second
Time,
I am usually cold and chilly?"
Surprised he can still do it twice, the Doc then sees the
Wife. After
Examining the elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything
Appears to be
Fine.
Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to
Discuss with
Me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her: "Your husband has an unusual
Concern. He claims
That he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you
The first time,
And then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know
Why?"
"Crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because the first
Time is
Usually
In
December and the second time is in July!"

2006-09-14 00:06:49 · 13 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

My mate was on his death bed and says to his wife "can you give me one last whish before i die?" "Anything you want". "ok" he says. after i die will you marry steve?"
"But i thought you hated steve" with his last breath he says "yep i do"

2006-09-14 00:05:34 · 27 answers · asked by ALAN B 2

sorry girls,,,im only joking though...no harm ment...

2006-09-13 23:41:48 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-13 23:41:05 · 33 answers · asked by Hitler 1

if
1=5
2=25
3=125
4=650
then 5 = .................. guess!

2006-09-13 23:40:25 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

i can do it with my eyes closed lol.

2006-09-13 23:35:55 · 17 answers · asked by ? 3

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people wirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

2006-09-13 23:26:48 · 20 answers · asked by nickinoo 3

2006-09-13 23:21:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

...into the restroom so you can still surf the web and write on Yahoo! answers?

2006-09-13 23:06:26 · 9 answers · asked by Vinh 3

2006-09-13 22:38:36 · 10 answers · asked by Stockbridge 1

i am starting with 100(a boy) .
boys can add 5 points from the last point
but girls will substract 5 points from the last point,
boys will win if the total will remain more or equal to 100 or
girls will win if total point is less than 100
let us start the combat and see who win (boys/girls) .....

2006-09-13 22:32:41 · 17 answers · asked by prabhat k 2

three chimps escaped from a zoo.
one was found watching TV.
one was found reading a book.
the third was found reading this message!!!

2006-09-13 22:14:01 · 17 answers · asked by Merlin the Magician! 3