Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

anyone have any good, clean jokes to play on my sister???

2006-09-13 11:40:29 · 12 answers · asked by I ♥ Nick Jonas 2

2006-09-13 11:37:36 · 6 answers · asked by lord_andys_new_id 1

If a blonde kills a fish by drowing it, then how can a blonde kill a bird?

2006-09-13 11:35:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is an American and a Russian arguing about what country was better. The Russian says, "We were the first to launch a satellite into space." The American laughed in his face and said, "that's nothing, we were the first to land on the moon." A Canadian blonde, over hearing the conversation, walks up and says, "That's nothing, we are gonna be the first to land on the sun." The American and Russian looked at each other and said "Are you mad? You'll die." The blonde responds, "Shows how much you know. We're going at night.

2006-09-13 11:30:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

anyone have any good jokes????


What do you see when the pilsbury doughboy bends over???




doughnuts!!!

2006-09-13 11:28:33 · 11 answers · asked by I ♥ Nick Jonas 2

i think you could of won if hadn't tripped. this is a starnge name for a marathon. i know it's because people are humans if they enter but why drop out? now your a cockroach and your pushing strange buttons on my tv. hmmm......

note: every question i ask will be under jokes cuz I'm so random people call me the ice cream cone. why? oh yeah i thought of that nickname and it's only purpose it to be random and to paint your computer lime green with grey spots.

2006-09-13 11:25:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field... lol

2006-09-13 11:25:26 · 9 answers · asked by maidenrocks 3

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"

2006-09-13 11:23:24 · 24 answers · asked by Lisa H 2

its red, white and blue, has a head of its own and spits without a mouth

what is it?

2006-09-13 11:14:54 · 6 answers · asked by sikn_shadow_420 3

If there are 450 lions in Africa, how many tigers are in Africa?
I will give 10 points to the first correct answer.

2006-09-13 11:10:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde walks into an appliance store, looks around, points and tells the shopkeeper, "Sir, I'd like the TV on the 3rd shelf." The shopkeeper looks at her, and says , "I'm sorry ma'am,we don't serve blondes. Please leave." The blonde was very angry, so she went home, dyed her hair brown , and returned the next day. She asked the shopkeeper, "How much is the tv on the 3rd shelf?" The shopkeeper looked at her, sighed, and said, "Look ma'am, we don't serve blondes! please leave." By this time, the girl was infuriated. So she went home, shaved her head, and came back the next day. She asked the shopkeeper about the TV, and he told her, "Ma'am. I've told you . we don't serve blondes, so you'll have to leave." The blonde, in a rage, demanded, "how could you tell I am a blonde???" The shopkeeper looked at her, shook his head, and said, "Because that's not a TV... It's a microwave."

2006-09-13 11:07:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

a boy somes into 2 classa nd the teacher asks where hes been and he said playin on mulberry hill and the teacher says ok go sit down then another boy comes in late and she asked where hed been and he said playin on mulberrry hill and the teacher said ok go sit down then a girl comes in late and the teacher says lemme guess u were playin on mulberry hill and the girls says no i am mulberry hill

2006-09-13 10:57:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

What joke would you tell?

2006-09-13 10:53:02 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

TO ROCK THE BOAT, TO ROCK THE BOAT BABY!

2006-09-13 10:52:06 · 7 answers · asked by Ericka 2

i know my questions are crazy just tryna have some fun

2006-09-13 10:45:27 · 22 answers · asked by Giggles 2

2006-09-13 10:45:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-13 10:40:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

WHATS WHITE BLACK AND RED ALL OVER

2006-09-13 10:39:07 · 10 answers · asked by GUNITS1LADY 2

2006-09-13 10:34:09 · 25 answers · asked by Giggles 2

polva was in Moscow doing her weekly shopping. she went to the bakery, but as was such a long queue she decided to walk on.
the queue at the butcher store was even longer so instead she tried the grocery store, where the queue was longer than the bakery and butcher queues put together, 'I’ve had enough of this,' she said in frustration. grabbing her husbands gun, she decided to march down to the Kremlin and do away with the secretary general. but when she got there she found 200 people in line before her

for those of you who don’t know what a queue is it means a long line

2006-09-13 10:33:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather strange.
Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body.
Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two arseholes."
"What? He had two arseholes?!" said the mortician.
Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes.
Every time we went to town, folks would say,
"Here comes Bubba with them two arseholes."

2006-09-13 10:31:02 · 14 answers · asked by zaazzy 4

I REMEMBER …

A FULL SERVICE (Gas) Station with a sign that read 23.9¢/ gallon.

2006-09-13 10:29:56 · 8 answers · asked by atomiktwin 3

2006-09-13 10:27:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

he likes answering riddles and i ran out of ones to ask him...

2006-09-13 10:22:38 · 3 answers · asked by Perfectly Flawed 5

a couple of hillbillies were honeymooning. as they got into bed, the wife looked over to her new husband and said, 'Cletus, I aint never done this before-please be gentle.' a scared look instantly appeared on Cletus’s face and he leapt out of bed and to the telephone. 'pa, she’s a virgin, what do I do?' 'come home, son. if she aint good enough for her own family, she aint good enough for ours.'

2006-09-13 10:12:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

The epileptic has fits between shucks...

2006-09-13 10:07:09 · 10 answers · asked by HughGRection 3

Imagine you are in a room with 3 switches. In an adjacent room there are 3 bulbs (all are off at the moment), each switch belongs to one bulb. It is impossible to see from one room to another. How can you find out which switch belongs to which bulb, if you may enter the room with the bulbs only once?

2006-09-13 09:58:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

it wasn't offensive at all. It was : what's brown & sticky?

answer: a stick

Why would they remove that??

2006-09-13 09:58:13 · 13 answers · asked by sarah e 2

2006-09-13 09:40:45 · 15 answers · asked by Puppy Zwolle 7

i think my gf is an alien i caught her few times she was lookin really weird her face was like covered by a mud or somethin and it was all white she was holding somethin in her hands it was like a cucumber but im sure it wasnt i think she was talkin to other aliens and one day when i got back home from school she was like moanin in da bathroom im really scared she is acting weird lately like sleeping with one eye open and talkin to her cat i think her cat is an alien too i cant sleep what should i do? please help!!!!! hahahahahhahahahaha

2006-09-13 09:27:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous