Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

That one-seventh of your life will be spent on Mondays.

2006-07-25 17:41:05 · 16 answers · asked by ? 6

eating?

and Wearing?

Muwhahahhaa

Sin definitely feels good.

2006-07-25 17:37:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Thought this was a one way trip. Do you get back the same way you went? Or is there a detour??

2006-07-25 17:33:00 · 15 answers · asked by bankster 3

and the bartender looks at him and says "we don't serve COLORED people here". So the black man gets angry, but bites his tongue and starts to walk out. Before he does though, he thinks for a bit, turns back around to the bartender and says "When you're angry you're RED." "When you're cold, you're BLUE". "When you're sick or jealous you're GREEN" and "When you're cowardly you're YELLOW, SO...who's the COLORED person now? At least I stay ONE color. I think you owe me a drink!"

2006-07-25 17:28:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

You've likely heard this one before, but ...

How do you drown a blonde?

a) Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool

b) Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool

or (the sick-joke version)

c) Hold her down underwater until she stops kicking and struggling

2006-07-25 17:27:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Wat is the thing dat when u wear it u cant see it, it disappears but ven others wear it u can see it, its a thing
Thanks for ur ans

2006-07-25 17:18:54 · 32 answers · asked by sweety 1

HAS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

2006-07-25 17:15:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

let me hear it!

2006-07-25 16:56:32 · 12 answers · asked by neverchild 2

2006-07-25 16:53:57 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-25 16:53:37 · 14 answers · asked by chilli 4

what would you dress as?

2006-07-25 16:52:42 · 10 answers · asked by chilli 4

1. Do they have a fourth of July in England?

2. How many birth days does the average person have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. In baseball, how many outs are there in an inning?

5. Can a California man legally marry his widow's sister?

6. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What's the answer?

7. If there are 3 apples and you take 2, how many do you have?

8. A doctor gives you 3 pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left standing?

10. How many of each type of animal did Moses take on the Ark?

11. A clerk at the butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a doen?

2006-07-25 16:37:33 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous

Give me the best "your momma" joke, and you get 10 pts.! Hahahahahaha! What can you come up with?

2006-07-25 16:30:14 · 7 answers · asked by Rayquaza Ice 3

2006-07-25 16:23:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

i know this is a stupid quetion that everyone knows

2006-07-25 16:14:56 · 30 answers · asked by bigsissytayia 1

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:
Please note... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE.

1. Breasts are for looking at, that is why we do it. Dont try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. Youre a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You dont hear us complaining when you leave it down.

1. Saturday = sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one.
- subtle hints do not work
! ; & nbsp; - strong hints do not work
- OBVIOUS hints do not work
- JUST SAY IT!

1. 'Yes' and 'no' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your friends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think youre fat, you probably are. Dont ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either tell us to do something, or how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
1. Christopher Collumbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear.

1. If we have to go out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes... you have too many shoes.

1. Dont try to have a conversation with us unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
- sex
- cars
- or, sport

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thanks for reading this; Yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know, men really dont mind that. Its like camping.

Pass this on to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this on to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

2006-07-25 16:14:12 · 10 answers · asked by ? 3

and violets are blue, but nothing's more fun than___________!

2006-07-25 16:12:14 · 23 answers · asked by ghostguff 2

2006-07-25 15:58:39 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-25 15:54:09 · 6 answers · asked by . :♥Mercedez♥: . 1

His wife said, "Our lodger is so beautiful. Every Wednesday when you are playing darts, she has a bath in the tub in front of the fire. If you don't believe me, come home early next darts night and I'll leave a chink in the curtains."
The next Wednesday the husband keyed open the front door and said, "Did you have to stand there washing your ***?"
The wife said, "The lodger had a date so I took her bath. It's no big deal- You've seen mr naked before".
He said, "I know, but the darts team haven't".

2006-07-25 15:47:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

links have humorous pictures, songs, cartoons etc

2006-07-25 15:47:01 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous

give me the sentence inside [ ] using the group of words ( ) from up to the down for every word,that mean start from up for first letter and then go line 2 for second letter for 4th start againe from the top an so on.







the sentence are [ sbsg ck hki xsr ] ?
now i want you to give me the sentence using those groups [g1]=group1

[g1]= (qaz) (wsx) (edc) (rfv) (tgb) (yhn) (ujm0 (ik) (ol) (p)
[g2]= (pl) (okm) (ijn) (uhb) (ygv) (tfc) (rdx) (esz) (wa) (q)
[g3]= (qwertyuiop) (asdfghjkl) (zxcvbnm)

2006-07-25 15:40:58 · 16 answers · asked by .^.^.^.D.^.^.^. 1

2006-07-25 15:32:02 · 16 answers · asked by anonymous 2

I dont care how long it is i just want a good laugh so i guess....... GO!

2006-07-25 15:08:21 · 18 answers · asked by ♥ Sunshine ♥ 3

No?

I don't give a sh!t I'mma still get mine.

Night Night, everybody.


What?

2006-07-25 15:06:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

just for fun no disrespect to anyone

2006-07-25 15:04:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

IF A MAN GOT SHOT IN HIS CAR AND THE WIDOWS WERE ROLLED UP AND THE DOORS WERE LOCKED NO BROKEN GLASS OR BULLET HOLES IN THE CAR HOW DID THE MAN GET KILLED


PS. HE DID NOT SHOOT HIMSELF OR GET OUT OF THE CAR FIRST ONE TO ANSWER GETS 10 PTS

2006-07-25 14:58:27 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

I just can't stop abusing this feature..

Never knew the Internet was this fun.

Hovaaaaa.

2006-07-25 14:51:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-25 14:44:05 · 4 answers · asked by mwrc09 3

88. you cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter
89. bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor, especially in the dark
90. a memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer
91. trouble strikes in series of threes, but the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job, its the start of a brand new series of three

2006-07-25 14:42:27 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous