This one's good!?

Question

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:
Please note... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE.

1. Breasts are for looking at, that is why we do it. Dont try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. Youre a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You dont hear us complaining when you leave it down.

1. Saturday = sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one.
- subtle hints do not work
! ; & nbsp; - strong hints do not work
- OBVIOUS hints do not work
- JUST SAY IT!

1. 'Yes' and 'no' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thats what we do. Sympathy is what your friends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think youre fat, you probably are. Dont ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either tell us to do something, or how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
1. Christopher Collumbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear.

1. If we have to go out, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. You have enough clothes... you have too many shoes.

1. Dont try to have a conversation with us unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
- sex
- cars
- or, sport

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thanks for reading this; Yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know, men really dont mind that. Its like camping.

Pass this on to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this on to as many women as you can - to give them an education.

it's not a question it's just funny.

Answer 1

A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.

They finally get her into the presidents office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."

The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet."

The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?"

"Sure," says the president.

That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet.

The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.

The little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them.

"Well, OK" says the president, $25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?"

She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's balls in my hands!"

Answer 2

LOL. Yes, indeedy. That is funny. LOL. Have a good day. Thank you for the laughs.

Answer 3

This is great - very funny. Each one made me laugh more than the one before! It's so funny, cause it's so true. Thanks for sharing it.

Answer 4

that has gotta be the funniest thing i've read all day. thanx, it's was wicked hilarious

Answer 5

funny

Answer 6

lol yea seen this one befor

Answer 7

What is the question?

Answer 8

lol git ur done

Answer 9

What a MAN!!!!!

Answer 10

no