Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-13 09:33:41 · 12 answers · asked by e j 2

There is road on which nobody walks or run thier vehicles,
river which has no water, mountain that has no tree or stone.

Can u tell me where that place is?

2006-07-13 09:33:24 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok, (if you know what I'm talking about) you, by your self, right hand, left hand, or what?

2006-07-13 09:32:24 · 7 answers · asked by wellmynameismaddie 3

2006-07-13 09:29:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

See these nos. carefully:
31,30,31,31....

What is the no. of digits that will come after it?
Definately 30 is not the answer.

2006-07-13 09:24:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-13 09:22:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

You Have A Dirty Mind

What's long and thin,
Covered in skin
Red in parts
And stuffed in tarts?



Rhubarb

2006-07-13 09:09:21 · 13 answers · asked by I don't have a name 1

An Irish guy goes into a bar in America and asks for three separate shots of Whiskey. He drinks one, waits a little bit, then drinks the second one, waits a little bit more, and then drinks the third one. This goes on for a few days, and finally the bartender tells him: "You know sir, I can put all three shots in one glass for you".

The guy replies "No, I prefer it this way. You see, I'm very close to my two brothers. They are both still in Ireland, and this represents a drink for

each of us. When I drink like this, I feel like we are drinking together again, all three of us". This goes on for several months, and then one day the guy walks into the pub and asks for only two shots.

The bartender is worried that maybe something happened to one of his brothers.

"Is everythink OK"? he asks.

"What do you mean", answers the guy.

"Well, for months you have been asking for three shots. now you order two. Did something happen to one of your brothers?", the bartender asks.

"No", replies the Irish guy, "Theyr'e fine. It's just that I quit drinking".

2006-07-13 09:09:11 · 19 answers · asked by haybeaver 2

If other manufacturers made condoms...

Tesco Condoms Every little helps
Nike Condoms Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms Finger, Licking good.
Minstrals Condoms Melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Safeway condoms Lightening the load.
Abbey National condoms Because life is complicated enough.
Coca-Cola condoms The real thing.
Ever-Ready condoms Keep going and going.
Macintosh condoms It does more, it costs less, it's that simple
Pringles condoms Once you pop, you can’t stop
Burger King condoms Home of the whopper
Goodyear condoms " for a longer ride go wide "
FCUK condoms No comment required.
Muller Light condoms So much pleasure, but where's the pain.
Flash condoms Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hard work.
Halford condoms We go the extra mile.
On Digital condoms Plug and play !!!!
Royal Mail condoms I saw this and thought of you.
Andrex condoms Soft, strong and very very long.
Renault condoms Size really does matter!

2006-07-13 09:06:34 · 12 answers · asked by I don't have a name 1

what do u call a gay dinosaur?
A megasorass

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
A lickalottapuss

2006-07-13 08:55:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

there are 3 apples. If i take two away how many am I left with

2006-07-13 08:54:26 · 21 answers · asked by Loady 2

just paid it last month, and they say its a 120
cant be that expensive
what is your average gas bill?

2006-07-13 08:53:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

that's right! having a crappy day and would love a good laugh to make things lighter! give away 10 pts to the best answer!

2006-07-13 08:52:40 · 8 answers · asked by Luvbuz01 5

Ok this couple broke down in there car so the man went to look for help. Before he went he locked all the doors and closed the windows so there was no possible entrance, but when he got back his wife was dead and there was a stranger in the car. How did the stranger get in the car? and no the car is not a convertible

2006-07-13 08:46:48 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

I know some names are like "dry", "off color", "sarcastic", "slapstick"....I want to know what else there is, does anyone have the whole list?

2006-07-13 08:37:54 · 3 answers · asked by tigornking 2

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////nothing,,,,u already told her twice

2006-07-13 08:37:31 · 12 answers · asked by internet_mack 2

This isnt hard, there is only one 'real' answer and if nobody pics it I will go with the funniest one you can come up with

the answer format i'm looking for is
"#{number of emo kids} 'because _______________ "

im sure you all know the answer

2006-07-13 08:12:43 · 11 answers · asked by victor obadiah 2

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

Tell me why you did or didn't like it.

2006-07-13 08:11:43 · 9 answers · asked by Punk Rock Gurl 2

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, ‘’I'm off. The man should be here soon.”
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘’Good morning, madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….'’
‘’Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,'’ Mrs. Smith cut in.
‘’Really ?'’ the photographer asked. ‘’Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies.'’
‘’That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?'’ asked Mrs. Smith,.blushing.
‘’Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.'’
‘’Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.'’
‘’Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.'’
‘’I hope we can get this over with quickly,'’ gasped Mrs. Smith.
‘’Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.'’
‘’Don’t I know!'’ Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘’This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.'’
‘’Oh my god!!'’, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
‘’And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'’ The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
‘’She was difficult ?'’ asked Mrs. Smith.
‘’Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.'’
‘’Four and five deep?'’ asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
‘’Yes,'’ the photographer said.
‘’And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.'’ Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
‘’You mean they actually chewed on your, eh……equipment ?'’
‘’That’s right. Well madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.'’
‘’Tripod??'’, Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
‘’Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action. Madam ? Madam?….. Good Lord, she’s fainted

2006-07-13 07:49:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

who ever is the 10th person to get this earns 10pts.
what movie is this quote from?(soooo easy)
"The power of criest compells you"

2006-07-13 07:46:01 · 13 answers · asked by nikki -nicole 3

Because they can spell it.

2006-07-13 07:24:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-13 07:07:25 · 18 answers · asked by Mike S 6

1. A box of mixed biscuits,
2. A box of buscuit mix and
3. A biscuit mixer...

Be honest..answer with something like " I did!" or " I didn't."

2006-07-13 07:05:06 · 15 answers · asked by onamor47 1

2006-07-13 07:03:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-13 06:56:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

once upon a time there was a hamburger named billy. this hamburger was alot like the other hamburgers except it loved relish. this was a problem tho because, as everyone knows, relish is for hotdogs. this hamburger kept to itself knowing that no one would be around a hamburger that liked relish. one day it met a hotdog named burt and this hotdog also loved relish. (wich is fine for a hotdog obviously) billy told bert his dark secret of loving relsih. burt was silent for a moment and asked billy if he would like some relish too,. "yes!" billy replied excitedly and got all relished up for the occasion. now no other hamburger would talk to billy anymore. but that was just fine with him cause he had burt, he had relish, and he had almost everything he wanted. they soon found themselves a nice plate with coleslaw, corn, macaroni salad, and baked beans with a side of coke and were eaten happily ever after

2006-07-13 06:55:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-13 06:41:23 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

make me laugh, make me wet myself, and whoever makes me laugh the most gets best answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-13 06:35:31 · 16 answers · asked by lucky c 2

2006-07-13 06:33:15 · 14 answers · asked by Ogytor 2

you think your funny try to be funny and win ten points for being the funniest i like the word funny dont ya think its funny funny anyway earn 10 points to be funniest or just 2 its funny either way!!!

2006-07-13 06:31:22 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous