long one,please take it as joke?

Question

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, ‘’I'm off. The man should be here soon.”
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘’Good morning, madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….'’
‘’Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,'’ Mrs. Smith cut in.
‘’Really ?'’ the photographer asked. ‘’Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies.'’
‘’That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?'’ asked Mrs. Smith,.blushing.
‘’Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.'’
‘’Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.'’
‘’Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.'’
‘’I hope we can get this over with quickly,'’ gasped Mrs. Smith.
‘’Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.'’
‘’Don’t I know!'’ Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘’This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.'’
‘’Oh my god!!'’, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
‘’And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'’ The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
‘’She was difficult ?'’ asked Mrs. Smith.
‘’Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.'’
‘’Four and five deep?'’ asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
‘’Yes,'’ the photographer said.
‘’And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.'’ Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
‘’You mean they actually chewed on your, eh……equipment ?'’
‘’That’s right. Well madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.'’
‘’Tripod??'’, Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
‘’Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action. Madam ? Madam?….. Good Lord, she’s fainted

Answer 1

lol thx

Answer 2

funnyyyyyy
check this one:

A man tells his Blonde wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.
"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

Answer 3

LOL. funny. There's not really a punch line with it, but its a funny story to read. I could see this being acted out in a skit on stage or on
TV. Don't let people hate on it, they are stupid if they don't have the patience to read a good story.

Answer 4

Very funny. See how assumptions screw everything up? He thought he was gonna take pictures and get some money, and she thought she was gonna get some d!ck.

Answer 5

who in the world would actually spend that much time typeing a joke,.....too long 2 b funny. i didn't get2 read it.sorry.

Answer 6

LMAO!!! That was really funny!!!! One question, do you have carpul tunnel syndrome now? That was looonnnggg.

Answer 7

~that was great! i laughed so hard i cried! that poor woman must have been scared out of her mind! i wonder if she's pregnant yet-haha!~~

Answer 8

HAHAHA..... pretty funny.... rofl haven't heard it before...

good one........ 7/10

Answer 9

pretty funny

Answer 10

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Hilarious