Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-07 00:56:18 · 9 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

I asked a few days ago and I can't event give ten points. Please don't let me down, I've seen some smart cookies here. This is a children's joke. What do you call a car with four flat tires?

2006-06-07 00:45:55 · 25 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4

A girl says to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.


A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?

He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.


Man to wife on wedding night:

Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?

Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others .


A wife asked her husband:

What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of
humor.

2006-06-07 00:37:58 · 7 answers · asked by Clyde 5

2006-06-07 00:28:11 · 24 answers · asked by Owlwings 7

WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(Don't know.... .it never happened yet)


And my personal favorite:

WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

2006-06-07 00:25:57 · 16 answers · asked by Clyde 5

round and round the mulberry bush
i chased patrick swayze
i ran and leaped and pulled at his jeans
they came off, oops a daisy

he ran and ran as fast as he could
until his feet were achin'
he thought he was free but watch out
for my buddy kevin bacon

i paid him to wait around the corner
and give patrick swayze a little trip
when he was down on the ground i tied him up
and beat him with a little frayed whip

man oh man this was all such a blast
it was all so very bitchin'
although it is very tough to let go
because this was all just imaginary fiction

i woke up and realized it was all just a dream
i was so sad that i didn't get to whip patrick swayze
oh well i guess that's how it is sometimes
i will just have to make do with kurt russel (yes that does rhyme!!!)

2006-06-07 00:25:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 00:19:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(Because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(They don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(They don't stop to ask directions)

2006-06-07 00:07:44 · 10 answers · asked by Clyde 5

First:
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"

The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"

The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

Second:
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.

The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000."

The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"

The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

Third:
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.

Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

Forth:
Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

2006-06-07 00:06:39 · 9 answers · asked by sammy 3

My answer is NO !! There is one thing that ONLY Man can do and a Woman can never !!!
It's possible ONLY for a man to write 8 on WALL while peeing !!
Anyone Agree ??

2006-06-06 23:53:25 · 15 answers · asked by X P 3

(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

2006-06-06 23:45:30 · 17 answers · asked by Clyde 5

Jan:"Do you look ur husband face while doing sex?".
Jin:"Yeaah once and he really looked angry.'
Jan:"Why in the hell he`s angry."
Jin:"I saw him outside the window watching me."

2006-06-06 23:45:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

It is so hard for me not to try it especially after someone says yuck that was disgusting! I think that makes me want to try it more! How about you? What do you do?

2006-06-06 23:42:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

2006-06-06 23:29:06 · 19 answers · asked by sammy 3

What's Red and Bad for your teeth?

A Brick.

2006-06-06 23:19:37 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ask me♥ 2

It's kind of shining, and making me warm, I'm confused, does anyone know what it could be?

2006-06-06 23:11:20 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you say " I love you more than love can love" or " I love you till infinity & 4 times back"??

2006-06-06 23:08:45 · 13 answers · asked by Sabadilla 2

Now, when you edit your answer, in the main screen it doesnt show that you have modified your answer.. I answered a question, no one had given the correct answer before me. But when i got back to that question some time later, i was shocked to see that a person who had answered before me(and had the wrong answer) had now changed his answer to mine...Now the questioner will think that this person answered first!!! Isnt it unfair?? If its like this, then i can answer a question with whatever rubbish i want , and later, after seeing other answers, change it!!! I think the earlier system was better!! What do u guys think?? And those of you who want to say "Wrong Category", i dont have to clarify to you!!

2006-06-06 23:07:12 · 11 answers · asked by nice_libra_guy 6

2006-06-06 22:48:02 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or just roll round the floor laughing?

2006-06-06 22:21:52 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

If a man carried my burden, he would break his back.
I am not rich, but leave silver in my track.
What am I?

2006-06-06 21:51:03 · 9 answers · asked by REPENT B4 ITS 2 LATE 1

2006-06-06 21:43:26 · 7 answers · asked by milk_and_cocopuffs 1

2006-06-06 21:39:27 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-06 21:20:52 · 13 answers · asked by milk_and_cocopuffs 1

A man is sitting in his house staring sadly at the floor. His neighbour comes for a visit. The neighbour tries to start a conversation but the guy will hardly talk. Finally the neighbour asks what the problem is. "Well," the guy says, "my wife won't speak to me ." "Why?" says the neighbour. The guy says: "Well, she asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly." "Thats easy, just say: of course I will!" says the neighbour. "Yes, thats what I meant to say, but what came out was: "Of course I DO."

I missed Y!A for the past week, hope you guys r still rocking the site.

2006-06-06 21:15:07 · 9 answers · asked by gogobanca 4

2006-06-06 21:12:33 · 30 answers · asked by Marky 1

2006-06-06 21:04:51 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three men meet on the street. Their names are Mr. Black, Mr. White and Mr. Gray. "Do you know," asked Mr. Black, "that between us we are wearing black, white and gray? But none of us are wearing the colour of his name?"
"You're right," said the man in white."

Can you say who's wearing what colour?

2006-06-06 21:01:48 · 5 answers · asked by brainyandy 6

A woman was in bed with her lover, Steve, when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner."
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Martins bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too."
No more was said about the statue -- not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue'. "Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Martins for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."

2006-06-06 20:43:40 · 14 answers · asked by Pd 6

Does it make a balance to 6/6/06??

2006-06-06 20:41:47 · 10 answers · asked by chilli 4