A girl says to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.
Man to wife on wedding night:
Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?
Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others .
A wife asked her husband:
What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of
humor.
2006-06-07 00:37:58 · 7 answers · asked by Clyde 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That is a good one!
Here is one for you.
NO SEX TONIGHT
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head, and women with their heart.
For example:
One evening lasts week, my wife and I were getting into bed, well the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "What??? What was that?"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.. . . . .
"You're not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman, enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different, very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jeweler department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you . . . . she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet, when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight, either.
2006-06-07 19:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 6⤋
Excellent.
--- LeeeN @ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ilovejokes
2006-06-07 12:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by LiN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good One!!!
2006-06-07 07:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by ladyecho 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How dare you tell bloke jokes.
Get back in that kitchen woman.......
2006-06-07 07:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by Joe King 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i echo the lady 's sentiments..
2006-06-07 08:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by umesh n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one,where did you get that?
2006-06-07 07:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fully sick!
2006-06-07 08:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by Prince Charmant! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋