Marriage & Divorce - 31 October 2007

My wife of 22 years has been messy since before I married her. As we speak, the kitchen is filthy and hasn't been cleaned in weeks. I killed (3) mice the last week, but I can't get rid of the mice because neither my wife nor kids will keep the kitchen clean.

The bathroom has mold crawling down the shower. The garbage in the bathroom is always filled with dirty pads and tampons, and it smells. There are two lavatories in our bathroom. Mine is always clean, and hers is filthy. She often uses mine.

The laundry is always piled up in corners around the house. I often do my own laundry, but can't stand seeing clothes piled up everywhere.

This is not the case where the husband doesn't clean house. I do clean often. But I can't maintain the house on behalf of my wife and 3 kids who don't work.. Because mom doesn't clean, my kids follow her example and are lazy as well.

I feel I have a right to live in a clean home, but it won't happen as long as I'm married to.

What should I do?

2007-10-31 15:10:28 · 51 answers · asked by Jeff C 4

If people you love are doing it and you don't touch the stuff? Driving me crazy lately..........I don't think I have a say at all, and I usually don't!! Can't just leave.....I have too much invested.....time and love!!!! I really don't know!!!

2007-10-31 15:04:01 · 14 answers · asked by Lori F 6

2007-10-31 15:02:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

My wife deletes her call history and is very funny acting about her phone. We never get the bill at the house. Is there any way I can buy the call history on-line. Pls help with anything!!!

2007-10-31 14:58:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband has a habit of spending money on things we really don't need (electronics, cars, etc). I've been trying to save money (for emergency use, a vacation we may take someday, and/or to help pay for our daughter's college), but every time I get a subtantial amount of money saved up, he takes it and spends it on something (like a car he paid way too much for that we sold six months later for much less). So, I set up a savings account he doesn't know about. I don't put a lot in it...about $100 a month or so just in case we need it later. Oh...and another piece of info...I'm a stay-at-home mom, he's the one who actually makes the money. My mother-in-law was a little upset by the idea when I asked her if I should (although she doesn't know that I actually did). Do you consider this ok or am I completely wrong in doing this?

2007-10-31 14:51:22 · 20 answers · asked by ME 2

Is it just me? Or am I, the only one who has lived an extremely super boring marriage life, for the past 15 years!!!!

2007-10-31 14:49:37 · 8 answers · asked by pain_of_unhappiness 2

In April my brothers gf confided that she had met up with another guy who promised he could provide a better life for her and my nephew (1 yr old) but that they only met in a local park and they never had sex or anything. She then said that she had broken things off with this new guy. In August my brother told me he was fed up with his gf spending all her time chatting on msn and chatrooms and never spending time with him not to mention phone calls that often went on for hours in another room with a guy she said was 'a friend'. A week later she told my brother to move out because she wanted to be on her own for a while but even before he had moved out she had a guy in the house (not overnight) who she knew from msn or something. She continues to tell my brother they have a future and that she wants more children with him but at the same time her chat profiles etc make it clear she is single (and happy to be single). Is she playing him for a fool? I think so but I need a second opinion.

2007-10-31 14:48:07 · 12 answers · asked by Very happily married. 7

My mum and dad are divorced.Recently my mom started to go on internet more often than usual, than she installed MSN and went to some dating sites.She met a guy from our city and i think she is now going out with him.3 days in a row she stays 3-4 more hours after work and says she is going in city...i am really suspicious about it and what is ur advice what should i do if she does date him, im boy, 16 years old.
I think i would not handle my self and that i have killing ambitions on every1 who even looks at my mother.God knows what will happen to that guy if i run into him.
Your opinions?

2007-10-31 14:39:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Just wondering...did any of you marry a woman who was a virgin when you got married? If so, was it worth waiting for?
Did you share the same belief in waiting until marriage or was it something that you just had to accept?

(I'm just wondering because I am waiting until I am married. My boyfriend is not a virgin but completely respects my decision. I just wanted to know how other guys felt. Thanks for your answers!)

2007-10-31 14:31:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

how do i find a financially stable woman? somewhere between the ages of 22-30 perferably not someone who is bill gates rich but someone who has enough money to help others out.

2007-10-31 14:28:48 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-31 14:27:28 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous

Not really sure what to do with this. Been married for 4 years, sex hasn't been great, but I don't doubt that he is straight - since that is the first thing everyone wants to say! He's not gay! He doesn't have much confidence in himself and wasnt sexually experienced at all when we got married. I was a virgin. But I know how I like to be seduced and touched and he just does the basics (the money spots ONLY) and is fine with it. I've bought the books, instructional videos, etc but he doesn't read. He watches and then doesn't try any of the tips! Caressing, kissing, etc. Also, whenever I ask him what he wants - he says "whatever you want" and it drives me crazy cause I have no idea what to do to turn him on! There is only one thing that gets him really hot and that's talking about me being with another woman. I'm not into that so much - I feel like I'm not enough for him!?!? Are there any other guys that are out there that just can take or leave sex because they aren't good at it?

2007-10-31 14:27:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-10-31 14:26:35 · 7 answers · asked by . 3

heres the situation, my wife and child live in canada, i live in the states, we've been married for over a year, and our son will be 1 years old in january. we fight constantly, my wife says that im never there for her and has extremely high expectations of what exactly i can do as a father to our son from 1200 miles away. i walk on eggshells anytime i talk to my wife because if shes angry at anyone or anything around her, she takes that anger out on me, i have to watch what i say. we've been working on immigration for me, and its taken forever because we've changed our plans at least 5 times, so we're now 1 year later and still not together. if things dont go the way she wants them to, or if i dont get the same conclusion or the same answer as she does, i get yelled/cursed at and hung up on. i constantly have to ask her to stop calling me derogatory names or trying to intentionally make me angry/annoyed. i dont know what to do

2007-10-31 14:25:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anon 2

but now that our son is turning two, I warned him about it, he still wouldn't change his behavior, will this have any long term affect on my son if he see his father touching my breast?

2007-10-31 14:19:01 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

First off, please tell me how old you are, and how long you've been married.
The question is, how do you handle major differences which affect both of you? Or do you have pretty much the same outlook on things so this type of thing isn't an issue?

I ask because i am trying to forsee if my issues with my 5 year bf can be solved somehow or if it's best to go our separate ways. I am a family girl, not 'too' close, but we get together to celebrate birthdays, and i sometimes go to my cousins or aunts get togethers or birthday family reunions too. My bf is totally 'allergic' to this stuff. He absolutely refuses to go to any of them, i would want him to be with me at least to the big ones, like christmas or my bday. I fear it will be trouble down the road, even more if we have children. Just to be clear, my family are nice people. I worry that if we can't even deal with this issue, what will be next? I don't want to force him, but if i go he always complains about being 'abandoned'.

2007-10-31 14:17:47 · 18 answers · asked by jade 2

Thanks for all the advice - it is just hard as I have been divorced for 7 years. I am very attractive (not an ego thing) and it seems that men are afraid of me. So I am so alone. They all assume that I am with someone - and he is amazing. He has an amazing body and mind. He makes time stand still. I never would have gone out with him in the first place if I didn't feel that it would be good (as the papers were filed, he was in his own place, and he said it was way over). I am actually the one that pushed him back to his family for his daughters sake. I do believe in karma and do know that this is not a good thing. Thanks again for being so kind - I am just so sad!

2007-10-31 14:15:17 · 7 answers · asked by Kitt 3

My husband and I were about to separate, thought he understood the situation, however last night he has asked for one more chance. Our issues have been going on for 3 years, we have been to counselling, that did not go so good, I have given 100% to the marriage and things have not gotten any better, I am so depressed and have lost myself, I don't' feel the same anymore and I want to be happy again not just for myself but for my child. I don't have enough faith in us as a couple to give him one more chance, as I don't want to get let down again, I don't have the strength. Also he refuses to leave the house, any ideas how to handle this one?

2007-10-31 14:10:30 · 29 answers · asked by sonsby1 1

well me and my man we've been going out for 2 years and living together , and we are madly in love. but one day his mom decided that she didn't want to stay alone in the winter so my man decided to go live with her all winter long , he told me that he would come her every evening to be with me and then after a certain hour he would leave me to go sleep at moms. i told him that i was not satisfied with his decision and he told me im not leaving my mom alone, and i told him its ok to leave your fiancee all alone at night, but not your mom. i told him he was a momma's boy and he told me that he was not, that i was just jelouse about her and that i had no heart. but its not true i have parents to but i would not put my family aside to go back to my parents just becasue they wont sleep alone . he comes from a family of 13 and hes the only one good in here eyes , and she likes to manipulate him very much . im starting to hate her pls tell me what i should do wait until shes dies

2007-10-31 14:07:57 · 9 answers · asked by girlfromnb2007 1

2007-10-31 13:58:40 · 31 answers · asked by masonv80 3

if you been married more then twice then why did you get married again if the last one didnt work out. you should learn from the last one this one wont work either

2007-10-31 13:55:04 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband and I met when we were 18 and married at 23. He graduated with his BS and I continued through med school. We were quite happy together until about 1 yr ago when we both started working excessively and spent less time together (27yrs). At this time I started spending time with one of my co-residents (30y/o) who was also married with 2 small children. My co-worker and I began to fall in love with each other and had an emotional affair which led to a physical affair. We have great chemistry, are very similar and both feel like we got married and met our spouses so young. He wants me to leave my husband; I do not have children so we can get married. I know he loves me but I am just scared b/c I do not want to regret it since people say once a cheater always a cheater. We are both doctors and our spouses are not so we feel we connect. Also, we have had intercourse in the past 6 months more than 250 times so our sexual chemistry is amazing. Please advise me on what I should do.

2007-10-31 13:54:13 · 14 answers · asked by Jackie S 1

I am a third year student nurse,I have been married for 6 years, we have two beautiful kids already.I met a french guy over the net last year and we have been chatting ever since, and he calls me often..He went to the Philippines (my country) just so he can meet with me..We spent the whole week together on the beach just having fun.I got to like him and he feels the same way towards me.But i am still tied to my marriage and that my husband is my bread and butter and he won't let go of me even if he is abroad for two years now because of work..What should I do?My culture is against with what i am doing now and i am really depressed. I need help,please help me figure a way out of this mess I put myself in..anybody out theeeeeerrree??I love my husband because he is the father of my kids but i haven't seen him for two years in a row now..I felt so lonely and this french guy made me real happy for over a year now and for the past week that we have been together...

2007-10-31 13:44:43 · 14 answers · asked by ToughCookie 2

2007-10-31 13:36:35 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Today I accidentally (I swear I wasn't snooping) found some pictures with the filename of "laura" on his computer. The pics were taken (according to the date modified) a year and a half after we started dating. I asked him about her and he got really rude and didn't give me any info. After some investigation, I found her myspace page and saw that she is the girlfriend of one of his friends. He has told me that he was screwing a girl who had a boyfriend when he and I first met. Should I be suspicious that this is the girl and that he might still be seeing her?

2007-10-31 13:36:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

My ex-wife used the county prosecuting attorney as her divorce attorney. She has not to date complied with any of the judges orders and the prosecuting attorney will do nothing to her. To add insult to injury i was on Missouri's case.net looking at a case when i seen my name and a order for modification granted to her. She filed for sole custody and supervised visitation and it was granted even tho i have never done anything wrong. What she and her attorney did was file saying they did not know where i was even tho she has been to my house several times and also knows my phone number. They posted the hearing in her local paper in the next county over about the hearing. I do not live in that county or get its paper. She committed perjury by saying she did not where i was but again he will not prosecute her for perjury because he is her attorney also and her decree was granted. Is there any thing i can do. I am a disabled vet and live on a fixed income and cannot afford an attorney. HELP

2007-10-31 13:35:06 · 8 answers · asked by inmissouri2003 2

I've got a small problem with my husband, which I think in the long run will become a bigger much annoying issue.
Everytime we get into an argument he automatically brings up an ex's name or guy friends name. These people have nothing to do with our marriage let alone what the topic of argument is about.
At first, I just thought it's an insecurity thing and explained to him how I don't appreciate him talking about other men who have nothing to do with our current marriage.
But now it's just flat out annoying on how often he mentioned other men to the point where I don't want to see my husbands face and completely isolate myself in our bedroom while he's downstairs.
I'm sick of trying to argue about this issue b/c it's pointless. WHy would I try and explain how I feel when my freakin' husbands just going to mention it again in a week or 2.
Keep in mind, I've never cheated or lied to my husband!!!
Help me out here with my sanity, what can I do or say to stop this issue???

2007-10-31 13:32:07 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Found out my husband of 18 years was having an affair. Had him legally removed from the house in Dec 2006. We signed a separation agreement in May 2007 stating he was to take immediate possession of a jointly owned car and boat and he wanted to take the wood stove we use as a primary heat source. He built a house with his girlfriend for them and their kids. (yes he has 2 daughters with her). She told him she did want anything that I had anything to do with in her yard and he had to build a garage to hide it in before he could get his "junk". It is now almost November and I am getting ready to move.
What do I do with this stuff? He has to pay me for 1/2 of what he paid for it and won't. Do I keep it? Do I junk the car and boat? I can't sell them because they are in both of our names. My friend says that after 90 days and he has not honored the agreement as it states "immediate possession", ownership becomes soley mine.
Help!!!! What do I do?

2007-10-31 13:12:37 · 7 answers · asked by Guess_who 1

I do not have a drinking problem and do not think it is fair of her.

2007-10-31 13:09:28 · 23 answers · asked by whatsup? 1

Do you view your wife as being stupid or foolish or easy to deceive when she forgave you? My husband tells me that I am the best wife anyone could ever have to still love him after he did such a terrible thing. Just wondering how the MEN feel about their wife.

Please no smart alec remarks; want honest answers from real men who have actually remained in their marriage and wondering if their feelings are any different about their wife now. Thank you

2007-10-31 12:54:06 · 12 answers · asked by pussycat 5