About to Separate from Husband, however he wants one more chance.?

Question

My husband and I were about to separate, thought he understood the situation, however last night he has asked for one more chance. Our issues have been going on for 3 years, we have been to counselling, that did not go so good, I have given 100% to the marriage and things have not gotten any better, I am so depressed and have lost myself, I don't' feel the same anymore and I want to be happy again not just for myself but for my child. I don't have enough faith in us as a couple to give him one more chance, as I don't want to get let down again, I don't have the strength. Also he refuses to leave the house, any ideas how to handle this one?

Answer 1

Dear,

Your husband still love you very much. Stick back to him. You will not know if a new person comes in.
The first husband is always the best. Try not to separate if possible.

Answer 2

You know, im almost in your spot now...Im really on the verge of leaving, but im so unsure. I know that things will probably never get better..and my husband and i have been thru this too many times..he says he wants a chance or we need to keep trying or i say that and it lasts for a few weeks then he goes back to the same old crap. I mean if you already know in your heart that its over, then dont waste time, dont set yourselves up for more hurt and all that, You really need to think about it and talk to him too. Maybe you should try a 3 or 4 mo seperation before you make everything final and move ahead with the divorce. I know that in a lot of states you have to be legally seperated and live apart for a year before you can even start your divorce. You are asking for advice because you still have reservations, so make sure you consider that also. this is a big step for anybody and its not that easy. Its going to hurt and your going to doubt yourself. But if your set on letting it go then remember that a lot of the reason it hurts is because you are married and have been with this bperson for 3 years and have a child together. Its hard to walk away from that no matter the feelings or situation. My husband and i have talked about seperating and we arent too sure about what we are going to do yet. for now we are stuck in a kind of awkward limbo and its tough. The main thing to do is communicate. who knows, maybe if you talk about it you will find something u missed. or it may just make your resolve to leave even stronger. He wants another chance because he doesnt want to lose you. Another thing is that you say you are depressed and have lost yourself. this can stem from marital issues but it might not be the real problem. maybe all you need is some alone time to figure stuff out and put it back in order. Esp if your young. Good luck hun and whatever hapens i hope things work out to the good for you.

Answer 3

Ask him what is going to be different if you give him this chance. Find out what he thinks the problem is with your marriage and what will fix it. Have him write it down so that you two can be on the same page and the answers wont change in conversation. Go from there. If you think that it is going to stay the same from whatever he answers, end it. If he takes some responsibility and he has a sincere plan and you believe you still love him go for it again. But if he refuses to leave go to a lawyer and find out what your options are before you make any moves. Get the legal view.

Answer 4

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/VtHvK

Answer 5

A few years ago my husband and I were going through some really bad times and divorce was imminent. What realized after a lot of time and energy, money, therapists, arguments etc. is that giving 100% to a marriage is really not what needs to be done. I know that sounds crazy, but once I really started working on my own life and having an amazing life, things just started working out in my marriage.

Answer 6

If he has not committed adultery, you are obligated to give it another try. Marriage comes with the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly. Have you factored in all possibilites and by the sound of the "house" that in itself is a big responsibility. Who's going to take out the trash, wash the car, take the car in for maintenance, rake leaves, mow lawn, chase those nasty bugs and dispose them etc., etc., etc. Marriage is about give and take, humbeling, sometimes being wrong when you know you are right. Have you exhuausted ALL measures? Do you have one more ounce of faith? All the best to you both and the child.

Answer 7

Guess what. He's the father. He has a right to be there at the birth of his child. If you try and prevent it you'll regret it. The child will hold it against you when he/she is older. He'll always be a part of the baby's life if he chooses. It doesn't matter what you think or what your family thinks. It's up to the Judge. Next time you should be a little more careful about who you choose to make babies with. Or maybe you should let your family choose for you. They seem to have a big influence on you.

Answer 8

You loved this man once enough to marry him and have his child. Do you really want to turn him away if there is any chance at all that your love can be rekindled? Is there not a chance that finally being forced to leave could have changed him enough to be the man you once married.

I believe in second and third and fourth chances. Give it a chance and see if this time is charm. You can always kick him out later.

Good Luck

Answer 9

I will bet he will say he gave 100% as well.

It takes 2 and no one is perfect. Hard to answer without more detail,

but why in the h@ll does he have to leave the house? Who do women think they are now days to honestly believe that its always the man that has to leave?

Yank out his heart, empty his bank, take his house and children, oh he will have a glorious time as people take pitty on you and feel sorry for you.

I don't.

Answer 10

WE MUST RESPECT EACH OTHERS FEELINGS AND EACH OTHERS NATURES AND START THINKING THE WAY HE OR SHE IS.

START TOLERATING EACH OTHER IN SUCH A MANNER THAT LIFE REMAIN COOL AND TRY UNDERSTAND HE / SHE IS THE WAY HE OR SHE

IGNORE THE BAD THINGS AND ENCOURAGE THE GOOD THINGS AND BE EASY IN HOME AND COOL

THE MISTAKE EVERY BODY DO THAT IS PART OF LIFE BUT THE BIG THING IS TO IGNORE AND MAKE HIM REALIZE IN VERY HEALTHY AND IN GOOD MOOD SO HE OR SHE UNDERSTAND AND NOT FEEL BAD.

LEAVING THE PARTNER IS NOT A GOOD SOLUTION BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT KNOWING HOW HE/SHE IS

STAYING TOGATHER IS BETTER AT LEAST YOU KNOW SOME THING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER.