What If you were in my shoes,met someone over the net,meet for real and then fall in love while still married?

Question

I am a third year student nurse,I have been married for 6 years, we have two beautiful kids already.I met a french guy over the net last year and we have been chatting ever since, and he calls me often..He went to the Philippines (my country) just so he can meet with me..We spent the whole week together on the beach just having fun.I got to like him and he feels the same way towards me.But i am still tied to my marriage and that my husband is my bread and butter and he won't let go of me even if he is abroad for two years now because of work..What should I do?My culture is against with what i am doing now and i am really depressed. I need help,please help me figure a way out of this mess I put myself in..anybody out theeeeeerrree??I love my husband because he is the father of my kids but i haven't seen him for two years in a row now..I felt so lonely and this french guy made me real happy for over a year now and for the past week that we have been together...

Answer 1

Personally, I wouldn't have been looking for guys on the internet in the first place, but even if it was just to meet new friends, I wouldn't have spent a week on the beach with him. I'm not trying to give you a hard time or anything, but that's just me. Stay true to your conscience. If you're already married and feel a sense of devotion to your marriage, then get rid of this French guy. Maybe deep down you feel that you're in an unhappy marriage, then you might want to talk to your husband about it. Either way, I think it's best if you at least talk to your husband about the French guy (if you haven't already).

You remind me of a story I read a long time ago, so I looked-up the story for you. Maybe you can learn from someone who went through a similar experience? Here's a link:

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Rainmaker44/143394/

Answer 2

This is a problem that only you can solve. If you love your husband as the provider, friend, father etc., never let anyone come between you and your husband. I understand that he is not there and I am sure that you are lonely. The alternative is grim for the children and both of your families. If there is a way to save your marriage DO IT. Take a vacation to where he is. Call and write. E-mail. There are a number of ways to stay intimate while you are apart. Be creative. It could be the best thing that ever happened in your relationship. Never give up unless you both agree. Really hope this helps you.

Answer 3

Your husband is working his a** off to support you and your children and you are meeting with and flirting with some French guy??

That's so unfair. You should have been honest with your husband in the first place - before you even MET with that guy. Maybe if you had been honest and straight up, then he wouldn't be working abroad for 2 years... or maybe things would be different. But right now, I feel sorry for your husband.

You need to get your husband to come home, leave that French guy alone, think of your commitments, think of your children - and most of all - think of your husband. At the moment, the only one you are thinking about is YOU.

Answer 4

Part of being married is dealing with the tough times. Your husband was out working in another country and you should have supported him, instead you betrayed him and met someone else just because you were lonely. Whatever happened to through thick and thin, in sickness and in health? Trust me, I'm in the same shoes you are in....I'm in nursing school and my boyfriend is deployed, so I know how hard it is....BUT, your husband needed your support and instead all he got from you was the ultimate let down. I feel bad for him.

Answer 5

You already know the answer to your problem. You know it is wrong to be with the Frenchman while you are still married. It is not fair to your husband or to the Frenchman. Especially if you have children.

You need to work out the problem with your husband or just divorce him if your culture allows it. Then you can be free to be with anyone that you love. Marriages were not meant to be carried on long distance. Either you and your husband need to be together or you need to let each other go to make new lives for yourself.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Your husband is doing a bad thing leaving you alone like this. Tell him that you are very lonely and it's getting very hard to dispell the attentions of other men. He should heed your cries for his love; or he should grant you a divorce and child support. How do you know he doesn't have a wife wherever he is now?
Maybe he has two families? Ask him to PROVE that he is your husband and either move you and the kids with him, or come home.

Answer 7

why are you looking for guys on the internet when you are married? you should have known before marriage he would be away, so thats your fault. secondly, its best that you end all talks with the french dude. then talk to your husband and explain him HOW YOU FEEL, communication is key in every relationship and it sounds like you lack in that department.

Answer 8

you might want to ask your husband why he chooses to work and live away from his wife and mother of his children. he cannot expect you to just sit alone for all this time. I don't blame you for looking for something else. you are lonely.just have a little fun and friendship with this guy. then either make your husband be a husband or have him let you go.

Answer 9

you knew he was going to be gone on this job for a long period of time and excepted that.Then U start messing with guys on the net. while he's trying to do your family right.
you should be depressed,if you have no proof he is messing around on you or you would be mad.
you are wrong and don't deserve him.

Answer 10

you have no one to blame but yourself.

shame on you for starting this in the first place....

stop the cheating and act like a wife.you say you love your husband, start acting lik it!!!