My husband has a habit of spending money on things we really don't need (electronics, cars, etc). I've been trying to save money (for emergency use, a vacation we may take someday, and/or to help pay for our daughter's college), but every time I get a subtantial amount of money saved up, he takes it and spends it on something (like a car he paid way too much for that we sold six months later for much less). So, I set up a savings account he doesn't know about. I don't put a lot in it...about $100 a month or so just in case we need it later. Oh...and another piece of info...I'm a stay-at-home mom, he's the one who actually makes the money. My mother-in-law was a little upset by the idea when I asked her if I should (although she doesn't know that I actually did). Do you consider this ok or am I completely wrong in doing this?
2007-10-31 14:51:22 · 20 answers · asked by ME 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, I know saving more would probably be a good idea, but our income has just changed recently and I'm trying to figure out how much I can save and not screw myself on bills.
2007-10-31 15:00:12 · update #1
If your motive is good, its a
GREAT idea!! I've got 1 too!!
2007-11-01 03:23:26 · answer #1 · answered by happywjc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are okay. Like someone else responded, as long as you're not using it for your own personal things, or a day out at the mall. But if you are using it for the both of you, for maybe an unexpected bill or breakdown of something at the house, or even to have some spending money at Christmas time. Someone needs to be responsible for the finances. After some time, when you have a nice chunk saved and say to him, lets go on a little trip or whatever, I think he will be suprised and happy. Maybe even get him to realize how by just saving little bits here and there can really add up.
2007-10-31 22:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by addicted2stamping 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell yes its ok. I mean seriously if you know your husband is a spend thrift I think its a great idea to have some seperate money some place else. I mean if you guys ever end up bankrupt or something at least you can have some money saved up to get you out of it or get a lawyer or something. And you don't have to tell him about it either. You are doing what you have to, to survive. I mean my mom has a savings account from my dad. Actually all their fianances are seperate. My dad even has his money at another bank altogether. And things work out greatly for them. So the sepearte account is more than advisable to have. I think its damn near necessary in this cae. Oh and still talk to your husband about how much he is spending too, explain to him your concerns that he is spending way too much and you don't feel its really worth it. I mean if you kept track of how much money was going out of the home and show him as you explained what was going on, hopefully it would show him. But if it doesn't, tell him that you are going to get a job of your own, to help keep you both afloat if he can't end his senseless spending.
2007-10-31 22:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In this case I dont think it is wrong.
It really depends on the purpose that you are opening the acount. In your case you are doing it because it is in the family's best interest which is good.
I think your husband should re-evaluate his spending habits. I know he is the bread winner but...
The other thing. I dont think you will be able to take vacation with the money. If you do, you will have to explaing where did you get the money from and he will know about the account and then it will be the same thing all over.
Good Luck.
2007-10-31 21:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have a secret savings account also! My mom always said "never trust a man for anything!" I make my own money and spend it as I see fit after the bills are paid. It sounds like your husband may have money issues; mine does too so don't feel bad about looking out for yourself and your kids, someone has to do it!
2007-10-31 21:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by Derby Girl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. Keep on doing it you will be glad you did. My ex use to do the same thing. I use to save up money because I was taught that is what responsible adults do but my ex would spent every dime of stuff for his self. I did the same thing. I opened an account that he didn't know about and was able to live comfortable when I finally left him. If something should happen to him you need to have some thing for you and daughter.
2007-10-31 22:10:53 · answer #6 · answered by moonchild 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, Ive had the same problem. Me and my husband kept getting over drafts. So I got my own account. My grandma always taught me to have and save my own money. You never know what might happen in the future. Thats having wisdom. And another thing you should have never told your mother-in-law. Girl dont you know she can turn on you any day. I dont care how nice she is. Blood is thicker than water. Your not wrong for doing it. Just look at it like this, your just looking out for the best for your kids. God Bless You!
2007-10-31 22:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by Momme 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Someone has to be the adult in this marriage. So we support your savings account.
But i would recommend saving a bit more, then placing the money into some quality mutual funds... or at the very least an IRA.
But I worry you are ignoring the real issues surrounding your husbands seemingly addictive style of spending money. Be careful not to ignore the real issue.
Good luck.
2007-10-31 21:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
yes. yes. yes. but dont tell your mil, dont tell anyone, not anyone. my dad used to do that, he would buy a boat, use it twice and decide he did not want it anymore and sell it to the first person who looked at it for a huge loss. he must have done this at least 10 times over the years. he had no common sense. my mother now handles all the money. she had to, they are now retired and he was still doing this, now with RV's. think if it as one way you as a stay at home mom contribute to the household. also, , may i suggest that you read the suzie orman books. they are for women and give a lot of reassurance and good ideas about money that will make you feel empowered. good for you that you are interested in doing something about this.
2007-10-31 23:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by jaded 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a secret,but on the other hand it is for the family.So do you make up something when he asks about where the money is?If you have to lie to him about where's the money then it is no good.Just remember there must always be trust between the too of you.So if he ever asks where it is,you tell the truth o k .
2007-10-31 22:07:00 · answer #10 · answered by junior1108 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Totally OK! My husband spends money on junk we do not need and if I did not handle our finances and put money in savings we would have none! If you are setting money aside for your family, for emergencies, then there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-10-31 21:57:17 · answer #11 · answered by fortillfriday 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋