I do not have a drinking problem and do not think it is fair of her.
2007-10-31 13:09:28 · 23 answers · asked by whatsup? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What is she going to ask next? That you not go into a restaurant that serves alcohol? The fact that she does not drink should not keep you from enjoying a drink or two in moderation. She can not expect the world to change because she has a problem.
The key word here is demanding! She has no right to control you. She needs to grow up. Part of healing is accepting her limits, not imposing them on others
2007-10-31 13:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 6⤊ 5⤋
I really wouldn't risk it if I was you. My father was an alcoholic who was sober for my young life. In the past 5 years, what started as one or two drinks has grown into my sisters and I never seeing him sober anymore. I'm not sure he ever IS sober anymore. Please, for your children's sake, don't do it. Set a good example for them and don't break their hearts. I wish that my father would have set a better example for my younger sisters and I about how to deal with alcohol, temptations, addictions, etc. If you're a recovering alcoholic, it means your children have the genetic chance to be alcoholics as well. If you show them that you can have a positive life without alcohol, perhaps their problems will be stopped before they ever start. I know that I am not an alcoholic myself, but coming from a daughter's perspective, I beg you to consider what I said.
2016-03-13 09:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not fair.
I'm a recovering alcoholic, sober 3 years. My wife drinks like a normal person and it doesn't bother me at all.
If she asked you to not drink in front of her, that's a reasonable request. Similarly, if you happen to be drinking the same thing that she used to drink, that could be a problem.
You didn't say whether this demand is recent, or whether she has been hinting or asking for the last 2 years. If it's recent, then it's possible that she is trying to deal with sobriety and struggling for some other reason.
2007-10-31 13:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by just_the_facts_ma'am 6 · 6⤊ 4⤋
Your wife has no right to insist you stop drinking, provided you are drinking only moderately and responsibly. Part of her continued recovery should be that she can tolerate being around you (& others ) whilst they are drinking responsibly. My experience is that alcoholics (I have family experience) can be controlling & you must insist on your rights as an individual. Personally I think alcohol is overrated and limit myself to special occasions only. Limiting your intake might be a good health outcome for you too.
2014-08-17 00:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you proud of your wife do you want her to stay sober if so you need to do your part.It's hard for someone who is trying to better herself by not drinking to be around someone who is.Weather it is right or wrong is unimportant what matter is helping your wife stay sober. Even if you don't drink in your home imagine her seeing you come home drunk or half drunk what ever. Her seeing you like that has got to be tempting her especial when you kiss her and she can smell and taste it on you. If you don't have a problem with it then why won't you stop for your wife better yet stop for yourself before it does become a problem.
2007-10-31 13:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by Teenie 7 · 4⤊ 6⤋
I had a terrible drinkig/drugging problem!!! Been sober for 12 years, I do miss it sometimes, but I know it will kill me if I start!! Hers the prob! My wife drinks excessively,and even started buying better brands when I quit!! She sometimes just dosen't function well, and it is expensive!! She says, "I have no rite to want her to quit"! But I'm sick of it!! What should I do, do I just leave & start over at 50+ years ole!!
2007-10-31 13:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by happywjc 7 · 1⤊ 5⤋
A recovering alcoholic never truly recovers and you're not making it easier by drinking around her. Maybe you can compromise...don't have any alcohol in the house for a year. Try not to drink around her...but feel free to go out with friends to knock a few back. Look, she's your wife and she needs all the support she can get. Asking you to quit too isn't fair...I agree. But, you can offer support by not drinking around her.
2007-10-31 13:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by L.A. Angel 3 · 3⤊ 7⤋
Honestly, if you drink very little, then what's the problem with not drinking at all. Maybe you can come to an agreement with her, no alcohol or drinking in the house, at all, but if you go out with friends you will have a drink every so often. Meet her half way at least. You should be very happy that she is in recovery, most of us won't get that. I've just separated from my husband of 25 years because of his drinking. I would have done anything to save my marriage even refrain from drinking myself, but it always turned out that I was the one who would stop drinking and he would sneak it. So I made my decision to walk.
2007-10-31 13:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 5⤊ 6⤋
When recovering from alcohol, the house is supposed to be free of alcohol. Respect what she is asking. It is very hard for her to sit there and watch you drink, while she has to struggle not to. However, she shouldn't demand it of you, she should ask if you would consider doing that for her because it would mean a lot to her.
2007-10-31 13:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 5⤊ 6⤋
My husband is also a recovering alcoholic, and before he came sober, his drinking nearly tore our family apart. He has been clean and sober for nearly 4 years. I was an occasional drinker at first, birthday parties and family gatherings, no beer or hard liquor, just daiquiries, and wine coolers. My sister in law made the comment to me that I should be proud of my husband's accomplishments and try to abstain myself when we go out to social functions. I say why do I have to abstain from drinking I am not the one who had the problem. She said you need to help your husband stay sober by being a role model for him. I still didn't fall for this. So, I ask one of my husband's AA meeting counselors what is the rate that someone who was recovering with a spouse who sometimes drink. She said there chances of staying sober are kinda slim. It can start with a slip of wine or cooler and could escalate. She told me I needed to be a role model for my husband to help him through the long haul. Because a person can become weak and fall to the temptations, I didn't want to be responsible for my husband falling off the wagon, and the fact that I do love him very much, was a small sacrifice to make. Now when we go out people know to serve sparkling white grape juice, or cider or we may just drink soda. My husband has made me so proud of his accomplishments and I don't want to ruin this for him. When you marry the bible says that the two become one body. How can a body function properly if his other side is doing something that is not in sync with the harmony of things or might be detrimental to the spouse. To move together in harmony you have to act accordingly in order to function. So if you really and truly love your wife this is not much of a sacrifice it is a blessing to want to help and be there for the one you love.
2007-10-31 13:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 5⤊ 7⤋