Marriage & Divorce - 11 October 2006

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. He is 32 and I am 23, he is Middle Eastern and I am American. There are several issues in our marriage. The first problem that came up was early in our marriage. He was emailing and chatting with a woman he knew from back home, I was suspicious about it and I found that they were writing very inappropriate things to each other (she is married also). I confronted him about it and he said that she was his ex-girlfriend and in the end I was the one feeling bad about spying on him, I feel it is wrong but had no other way to find out what was going on. Then a little later, I found him on yahoo chat rooms asking women what they look like and if they have cameras. I was mad, but let it go since several times we had gone to the chat rooms together and played around. Other small things happened during this time that I don't think mean much, such as he went to Washington DC (we were living in Northern Virginia) to visit a girl he had taken a class with before she went back home to Germany, but he told me he didn't get to see her before she left. Another thing that was somewhat big in the beginning was his interest in pornography. It made me feel bad at first, but now I see it just as a kind of entertainment when he was bored, except he always went to the Russian sites, he thinks Russian women are very beautiful. Skip forward to last year. In April of 2005, he went home to visit his family. During this trip, I found out that he didn't tell his family that he was married. When he got home, we had a long discussion and said he couldn't tell them because the tradition there would make his family outcasts because he married outside the religion (they are Druze). I still don't understand it, but I respect his wishes of trying to keep his family happy, but telling them wouldn't be telling the whole world, but he doesn't see it that way. Now comes the most recent and the hardest for me to get over. In July, my husband and two of his male friends go on vacation. First, they went to for a few days and then went to the Grand Canyon (we now live in ). He told me they had fun, but when they got back, he and his friends were fighting. He said it was because they didn't help with the financial aspects of the trip (they are both doctors and he is in film school). Until last month, I just accepted this. But then I started going through the cell phone bills and found a lot of text messages from a number in flagstaff . I checked his cell phone one night and I was appalled by what I found. The worst one was one he wrote to her that said, "I wished to sleep with you but gave up on it" along with other things such as how beautiful she is (she's Russian). Then I broke into one of his email accounts that had a different password. All of his other passwords include my name, but the password of this account is her name! I found the emails they wrote to one another and found that he met her in the Grand Canyon and took her and two of her female friends to . As is turns out he was mad at his friends because they weren't interested in her friends and left, then made my husband leave the girls in Vegas so they could come back to for their flights back home. All communication between them stopped August 30, or so I thought. A few weeks ago, he received a text message from her saying that she was in and then in , (he goes to school in , close to ) but she was leaving. He wrote her back when he went back to school asking if she was still around. Before that message, I confronted him and we had a huge fight. He said nothing happened, but didn't tell me he took her to but made me think he met her there, until I told him I knew. I tried to ask him why he would do it, but he just said it was none of my business and that I couldn't treat him like a child. The way he was talking led me to think that he thinks he can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants as long as he's not having sex. I tried to explain to him that it's ok for him to have female friends, but when he keeps it a secret and refuses to say anything about it, it is a betrayal. I am having a really hard time with this and don't know what to do. I have the girl's (she's only 21) email address and phone number and I have been considering either emailing or calling her to ask her side of the story or see if he told her he was single or married. I am also considering calling his friends that went with him on the trip to see what they will say. If you have any ideas about what I could do, I would appreciate it greatly.

2006-10-11 18:43:08 · 23 answers · asked by lisakotrob@sbcglobal.net 1

but he was only 3 hours away and now he is 9 hours away and our anniv is tomorrow and said he could not be here and he would call me in a couple days and said he loves me- i was not aware of any problems in or marriage

2006-10-11 18:33:49 · 21 answers · asked by kdkc06 1

The last guy was her college professor 3 years ago. Our marraige has been rocky at times. She is very much the controlling type. Our sex life was not good during these times but her bad moods and demeaning attitude towards me was a real turn off. I also wonder if she's telling me the whole truth.

2006-10-11 18:26:42 · 39 answers · asked by tm v 1

What if he refused to do a traditional wedding and just wanted to go to vegas and get it over with?

2006-10-11 18:24:41 · 9 answers · asked by juju 3

I really have no reason to, but i hear stories all the time about it happening, and the other person had no clue. I know other woman who have said the same about there men, but really, is this normal?

2006-10-11 18:20:03 · 16 answers · asked by MiZmeL 4

i am scared to have a baby..its been over an yr since we got married...i am going through a bad career time...few of my age friends are having babies now...me and my hubby were having a simple conversn abt babies and he said he would like to have a kid some day...but ..the name of baby is freaking me out...when i told this he was like" don't say never...some day u got have b4 its too late..."
may be i am freaking out coz of career ..but at times i am kinda overwhlemed by all the differences me and hubby have abt few things in life...i really can't think clearly...but i wanted to know does any one freak out like me ..
i am 26 yr old..i am applying for my residency this year and past 4 years have been really bad for my career and i have really huge dreams,to make up for all loss...
please gimme ur opinions or suggestns..i would appreciate it

2006-10-11 18:10:57 · 15 answers · asked by crazyabs 1

What is love? Why do we need it? Why does it hurt us so much?
What is it that makes people make poor choices in partners?
Why do we grieve so much when we lose a love even it was a bad experience.
Why do we have such huge expectations of love and marriage and that man ends up being the nightmare husband from hello. What happens between the I do and the rest of life?

2006-10-11 18:00:27 · 15 answers · asked by clcalifornia 7

my husband and I were seperated but still in love and had plans to try and work things out when I went to his apartment one day after work to find another woman naked standing in the living room and found him laying in his bed naked. He says they didnt have intercourse and that he has never cheated.

2006-10-11 17:53:19 · 62 answers · asked by Anonymous

He doesn't have many friends or like to be around people much, and she tells him a lot of her problems-which she might just tell everyone, but I feel uncomfortable with it all.

2006-10-11 17:45:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am all for gay marrige. I am straight and strongly believe in equal rights. It says someone in a AMERICAN document that ALL people have the right to the pursuit to life, liberty, and happiness and if being married makes people happy then more power to them. Same with Basic rights. My opinion may be a little biased by family members but i don't care. I just want other opinions so thank you.

2006-10-11 17:43:34 · 7 answers · asked by Angel Eyes 2

week going so far? Just a time to let it all out over any thing you want.

2006-10-11 17:41:54 · 20 answers · asked by lifescircle 5

2006-10-11 17:28:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

would you like making love or having sex? please indicate if you are male or female.

2006-10-11 17:27:25 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

My Engadgement is broke due to some problem now i want to know that it is possible to get that girl back in my life. My birth Date is 9/11/80 & birth time is 00:45 am & birth place is bharuch. My Raasi is Vrashchik.Her Birth Date is 16/4/82 & birth Time is 08:10 am & Birth Place is bharuch. Her raasi is Dhanu. Plz let me know that she will back in my life. If yes than plz provide me the solution.

2006-10-11 17:23:56 · 15 answers · asked by sunny 1

my husband likes to have anal stimulation, particularly having dildo's in his ***, does this mean hes gay but does not want to admit it?

2006-10-11 17:21:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband has a big tattoo on his shoulder and arm that says J loves S. S is the mother of his daughter that he had when he was 17. He got the tattoo when he was 16/ It really bothers me that he has another womans name on him. He says he will change itbut cant find what he wants.
Than one night when he was drinking he said that he and S promised that they would never remove them.
what am I to think? he says one thing.. but doesn't do it.
BTW he is 32 now.and she also still has her tattoo.But nothing is going on she is married and lives hundreds of miles away.
But why is he holding onto it?
I am hurt by it, that he wouldnt want it covered up.
Am I wrong? what is gong on?

2006-10-11 17:21:24 · 15 answers · asked by loladoreen 3

2006-10-11 17:19:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-11 17:17:16 · 16 answers · asked by ethan_tonya 1

He has asked me to marry him for 2 years now. I just got a divorce last week. It was long and nasty. If I don't say I want to get married today....he gets mad. He cusses and yells. He says sorry later and that he is just frustrated that i won't do what we have been planning....to get married. It is either yes or no. He won't take "wait" for an answer....I haven't been available but a week.....but we have loved each other for 3 years. Long story.
Bottom line, if a man says he has said nasty things to me out of anger....and that he really loves me.....and he has proved it by sticking by me for 3 years.....do I believe him? Will he get angry and have a temper with me in later years? We left our marriages and fell in love. We waited for my spouse to finally sign and give me fifty fifty custody....he didn't. In fact, he got a job transfer to a place a thousand miles away....and that complicated our relationship even more. He has toughed all this out. But why cuss at me?

2006-10-11 17:15:59 · 20 answers · asked by greeneyes 3

especially that you can't give him enough sex, but don't want divorce.

2006-10-11 17:12:18 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous

After 14 years of marriage and seperated for one year now, because of two one night stands in a three year period which was out of anger and resentment, I confessed and repented. she went ahead and found someone else within two months,Said he was just a friend, but moved him in!For ten months I was away working and sending home plent of $$ plus paying all the bills. Now that I'm back in town she, or my brainwashed twelve year old son won't have any thing to do with me. My son has even stated to me " I don't think I'll ever Have a relationship with you!" They don't answer letters,calls or text messages. It is as if I'm a total stranger and All I want to do is let them know I was wrong and want to make things right even if we cannot stay married. I have not filed for a divorce and niether has she. Whats up with that?

2006-10-11 17:12:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

if you found out that not too long after you and them split up, they turned gay? This did happen to me a few years back, and for some reason it still bothers me; though I do not know why. And yes I am prepared for the abusive jokes, so bring them on. Ha!

2006-10-11 17:10:47 · 20 answers · asked by lifescircle 5

the stronger she gets the more he brings her down.

2006-10-11 17:08:41 · 7 answers · asked by non-curious 2

Instead of placing people in jail why not have a program where they can find descent work . If they keep quiting the job that has been provided then may be jail time can be an option . Good people have been placed in jail , Why ? we all fall short of our responsabilities some time , we all need a little help . I can see it if you are just not trying to take care of your children ,then hey you deserve what you get !,but if you are really trying cut them a little slack , because hey aint no one perfect in this world!!!

2006-10-11 17:02:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

my husband and i have been married for 4 years and together for 5.. recently we had our son who is 7 weeks old... since Riley was born our "nights" together have been short and rare.... i feel as though we have tried everything to ummm... spice things up but it still seems as though its the same thing everytime. any serious thoughts are welcomed...... all perverts please stay away....... i want my "nights" to be as good as my "days" and i dont want hime to go looking somewhere else......

2006-10-11 17:00:13 · 6 answers · asked by i_luv_my_army_man 2

2006-10-11 16:58:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

whats the purpose of marriage and whats a wife do in marriage?Why get married when they all end in divorce?

2006-10-11 16:58:42 · 4 answers · asked by BIG_STING_9 2

2006-10-11 16:58:42 · 10 answers · asked by Chuck Dhue 4

2006-10-11 16:58:05 · 15 answers · asked by sassy lady 4

Hello All,

I was married in early 2005 in different country. My wife just came to the United States 2 months ago and thing are not working out. If I leave her do I have to split the house and bank balance with her. Eventhough she has never been on the title of the house or added to the bank account. I bought my house way before I got married, in 2002.

Please advice.
Thank you

2006-10-11 16:56:41 · 20 answers · asked by Raj G 2