He has asked me to marry him for 2 years now. I just got a divorce last week. It was long and nasty. If I don't say I want to get married today....he gets mad. He cusses and yells. He says sorry later and that he is just frustrated that i won't do what we have been planning....to get married. It is either yes or no. He won't take "wait" for an answer....I haven't been available but a week.....but we have loved each other for 3 years. Long story.
Bottom line, if a man says he has said nasty things to me out of anger....and that he really loves me.....and he has proved it by sticking by me for 3 years.....do I believe him? Will he get angry and have a temper with me in later years? We left our marriages and fell in love. We waited for my spouse to finally sign and give me fifty fifty custody....he didn't. In fact, he got a job transfer to a place a thousand miles away....and that complicated our relationship even more. He has toughed all this out. But why cuss at me?
2006-10-11 17:15:59 · 20 answers · asked by greeneyes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its weird, ninety percent of the time, we get along great, best friends actually.....but then he gets mad and yells and rips his shirt off and points his finger in my face...how can we make passionate love one minute and then abusive the next minute. He says it is because of my ex, my kids, and my parents not accepting him or acknowledging his existence. And this is true. They have been ugly to him. They blame him for the divorce....in reality, my marriage of 23 yrs. stunk way before I met him...I was already depressed and ready to give up on life when I met him. Bottom Line, I do love him. What do I do? He has done so much for me....he is a good person otherwise.
2006-10-11 17:30:11 · update #1
I dated the perfect gentleman however, from time to time he would curse when he got angry.then it was never directed at me.. Its now three years later and now its directed at me but he says its cause I MADE HIM SO ANGRY!!! and then he apologises... My philosophy is why should one have to apologise twice for the same thing... it obviously means that the first apology meant nothing.... and in time so would the second.... It also says that they dont respect u enough cause guess what, they would not do it to their mothers and sisters...
2006-10-11 17:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by always angry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the relationship sound a little complicated.But from what I gather he seems frustrated.Im having the same problem as far as disrespect w/ my childs fathet.I know it hurts an dit seems like a contridiction of everything he's ever said.Well I hate to break the news but that isnt love and if someone treats you less than a person then he doesn tknow your worth.That isnt fair and whether you realize it or not it will start to take a toll on you and your self esteem.You may not believe the things he says now or think the way he speaks to you is ok now but if youkeep hearing it will tear away @ you.Tell him no for now you have every right to free your mind and go into whatever it is you want to do with a clear mind.He will be ok.He needs to stop throwing a f**king tantrum like a 5 year old and watch his mouth before he misses out on what he feels is the best thing that ever happened to him.He needs to get respect for himself and stop acting like a kid.
2006-10-12 00:32:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband does the same thing and it hurts more and more every time he yells. He has never laid a hand on me, but words can hurt more! My opinion, get out. He will not stop and it WILL just get worse. I promise. And think about future children, and how yelling and screaming and throwing things can make a child feel... Not a good situation. He has to have enough respect for you to not scream. We all get angry, but we know how to control our anger to not hurt the ones around us. It will end up tearing a relationship apart. And eventually you will wonder if he could hit you....
Good Luck!
2006-10-12 06:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by jrcosmogirl333 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW!
Well, the guy just ended his marriage for you, supposedly...he's thinking you're getting cold feet now about marrying him.
And you've basically ended two marriages to be with a guy who's probably going to beat you senseless...may even test out his new ring on the back of your head leaving the alter, who knows.
I hate to be this way, but you 2 are going to get exactly the relationship you deserve.
2006-10-12 00:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your jumpn from the pan to the fire. Whats his hurry? Is he that insecure? Don't think you should marry him on his time, if he really loves you then he will respect you now and I don't hear any respect here. So my opinion, tell him to go learn respect then come see you. Honey, if it's this way now, it only gets worse. Sounds like he's the controlling kind. Don't let him win,do it on your time. Even if you lose him, count your blessings cuz to me he has a lot more issues than his insecurity.
2006-10-12 00:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by Froggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is from some one who been there and back 4 times with marrige and men with temper sorry to tell you this but you going to end up with some one who will control and have a temper with you and as for marrying him just out of a bad devorice i would say heck no ive done it it dont pay so go with your heart and do whats best for you heal your self if he cant wait and throughs a fit not worth it..............................
2006-10-12 00:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by mary s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say if you were living together or not, try that give both of you a chance to see , but I am sure his anger comes from three years of having a wedge between you two and he wants to move on, ever seen someone eating ice cream and really looked so good you could taste it but you couldn't have it . well maybe your the ice cream,yum yum
2006-10-12 00:27:37 · answer #7 · answered by martha g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u shouldn't get back in a problem because he is talking to u like that now he is going to keep on don't that. I f he say he love u he will respect u not do that and u marry him it's going to get bader than it is now. U don't need that in you life. The Lord put u on this earth for people to love .
2006-10-12 00:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by ms.lynn37 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was mad he gave up alot to be with you. But to cuss you out isn't right. Tell him you need to wait before remarrying and being together is enough. You can still be together. If he keeps up the verbal abuse dump him.
2006-10-12 00:19:45 · answer #9 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he treats you this way now, if you marry him it will be much worse. You need to tell him goodby. If you are now divorced, you will need time to adjust & make a new life for yourself. Take your time, meet new people. Some day a good man will come along who will treat you with respect.
2006-10-12 00:30:53 · answer #10 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋