i am scared to have a baby..its been over an yr since we got married...i am going through a bad career time...few of my age friends are having babies now...me and my hubby were having a simple conversn abt babies and he said he would like to have a kid some day...but ..the name of baby is freaking me out...when i told this he was like" don't say never...some day u got have b4 its too late..."
may be i am freaking out coz of career ..but at times i am kinda overwhlemed by all the differences me and hubby have abt few things in life...i really can't think clearly...but i wanted to know does any one freak out like me ..
i am 26 yr old..i am applying for my residency this year and past 4 years have been really bad for my career and i have really huge dreams,to make up for all loss...
please gimme ur opinions or suggestns..i would appreciate it
2006-10-11 18:10:57 · 15 answers · asked by crazyabs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, I don’t want to have a baby either and that’s fine. I'd rather not mess with the kid thing; it’s really not for everyone. If your husband truly loves you, than he will stay with you, baby or not. You are still very young and with so many career women in the world today, many women are waiting until their thirties to have babies. So don’t trouble yourself with having a baby now. I know I will never have one myself, and personally I think I will fulfill my personal goals more that way. Some people’s personal goals include having kids.
P.S. who is that jerk that said you needed to get it together because you didn’t spell perfectly. Hey buddy guess what you can go into a residency and not be a perfect speller. Many great minds haven't been successful spellers. Loosen up and take that stick out of your @$$! This isn’t a English paper, its an internet question, lets try to focus on the point and not act like your some superior being. Generally those who think they are superior, lack greatness.
2006-10-11 20:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 23 and I've been married for five years now and still me & my husband have no baby. We've been waiting to get our life situated before we do start a family, but the truth is that "THERE WILL NEVER BE A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A BABY" That's one of the biggest things that everybody who has had a baby has told me. For a lot of people, I see that having a baby totally motivates them to better their lives and make changes; for some, nothing changes. I just think that the longer you wait, the more you'll be scared to start. I personally wouldn't mind having a baby right now, but my husband's kind of hesitant. The only thing I worry about is whether or not I'll be a good mother, if I can provide for my child and how we'll work our work schedules around it. A lot of people my age are having kids! Even the ones younger (way younger) than me and it's kinda sad sometimes b/c their kids are like starting preschool or kindergarten already and it's like, that could've been my baby! But "everything happens for a reason"... when the time's right, it'll happen. Just focus on you & your husband and do what you need to do to make you feel more comfortable to decide on when to start a family. You still a good 14 years. Good-Luck!
2006-10-12 01:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are stressed at the moment because of your career. Of course the last thing on your mind is babies! Dont rush yourself into anything, take problems one by one. First sort out your work issues. Also, you are married only a year, I suggest take some time to sink into the relationship and when you are comfortable, then you can think about babies. Just remember, it is not the material things we will leave behind that will be remembered, it is our next generation that will remember us.
2006-10-12 01:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I are discussing this as well. The best answer is when you are BOTH ready. We live in a state I don't want to raise kids in (NC) and I am not happy with my career. If you are both happy with where you live, both love your jobs, and are both ready...then go for it. This is under the assumption that if you are married, you love each other. I am 28 and my wife is 24 (just turned on Oct 12) and we both want to wait until the "madness" of our lives starts to subside. If you aren't satisfied in your careers, then adding a child won't help you find that. You are young, you have plenty of time to wait if you are unsure.
2006-10-12 01:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by NightTrainWooWoo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest not having a child right now for you. It sounds like things are too hectic and it is unfair to put a baby in the middle of all of this, and besides, it is never ever too late to adopt, and babies deserve secure homes without stressed out parents! :-) But really, children are a blessing and they are not as stressful as you think that they are. Are they hard work? YES! Are the worth everything that you have to give and more...YES. But they need you to be stable and supportive of them and you don't sound like you are in that place right now.
2006-10-12 01:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by The Nag 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be completely ready to have a child before you do so as it is a lifelong committment! You need to be able to be there for the child in every way, and should you have one before you're ready you will only resent your husband and perhaps the child. You're still very young...don't count yourself out yet. You have plenty of time to get your life in order before having babies, if you have babies. You do not need a child to make you a "complete woman". I did not have babies and I am more than okay with my choice. The mere thought of having kids scared the crap out of me! And the pain of labor???? forget it! hehe! You need to be ready, and absolutely sure you want to handle the responsibility.
2006-10-12 07:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are more fun to have around when you don't have other things you are trying to accomplish going on at the same time!-- I have a two year old and I am 22 and still in college, full time-- I know I need to finish school, but sometimes I dont feel like I'm spending enough time with her-- And sometimes I just dont feel like it because I'm so tired and stressed from school!
Take care of yourself and your marriage first! --You'll know when the time is right! :)
2006-10-12 01:27:41 · answer #7 · answered by IWantToKnow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have talked about having children BEFORE you got married. Some people chose to remain childess in their marriages and they talk about this before a marriage takes place. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children, however you need to know whether you want them or not BEFORE you get married because when one partner wants to have children and the other doesn't it could cause major problems within the marriage, having children doesn't ALWAYS bring a couple closer together, especially if one in the couple doesn't WANT children.
2006-10-12 02:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your life begins to fall into place, you may change your mind. Right now you have much on your plate. ie career, marriage, etc.......And I can understand why the thought of a baby scares the beejeevies outta ya. Take one thing atta time. And concentrate on your goals.
2006-10-12 01:20:19 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having a baby is not for everyone, but it doesnt seem to me that you dont ever want to have a baby, it just seems you may be overwhelmed right now for a lot of things, you should think about this when things in your life are running more smoothly, then think if a kid is right for you and your husband, remeber now itsa not just you but him too
2006-10-12 01:22:27 · answer #10 · answered by cuteybooty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋