Hey, I need a defination of what Love is, can you tell me?

Question

What is love? Why do we need it? Why does it hurt us so much?
What is it that makes people make poor choices in partners?
Why do we grieve so much when we lose a love even it was a bad experience.
Why do we have such huge expectations of love and marriage and that man ends up being the nightmare husband from hello. What happens between the I do and the rest of life?

Answer 1

An illusion

Answer 2

There are probably a billion definitions of love, and about as many love songs. I may not be able to define it, but I do know when I'm in love. Unfortunately, the statement that love is blind is also true. With the exception of Jack Daniels (or your favorite poison) nothing clouds your judgement like love. And maybe that's why we make such poor judgements, because we're impaired. And just like with Jack, you can get a love hangover. And sometimes you can be stuck with the results of your binge.
But sometimes, rarely, you get lucky, and you find true love. Or maybe your just afraid that someone else will be even worse. Stick with the bad you know. Maybe I'm being cynical, but it seems that the best lover is the one you never get. Maybe that's why fantasy is so popular.

Answer 3

Wow, if you dont like long answers, then its going to be pretty hard to answer these questions, and even then, it will only be peoples opinions because love for everyone is different. If a happily married person was to answer this question it would be totally different from a person who has experienced nothing but hurt.

I think your questions are age old ones and it kinda is the same as asking about the meaning of life. For everyone the meaning of life is different.

I have been hurt very badly in more than one relationship. I have felt everything you are talking about. I think you have to be hurt in order to become strong. Everytime you lose a love and you are hurting the majority of people look deeply into themselves which in turn teaches you what you really want in life. With every bad experience we are getting nearer and nearer to the perfect relationship. Why do we need love? I dont know, but maybe its just a natural instinct. If a baby never experiences love, he/she will be nothing more than a shell. Being loved I think is a basic instinct that was born into us, and without it we either die or become ineffective human beings. A study was done with orphans in a hospital in an underdeveloped country. There was a lot of babies who died, and they wondered why the babies who were at the front survived more so than the babies who were at the back. It was decided the reason for this was that the nurses when they went passed would touch and say loving and reassuring things to the babies who were in the front row. If that is true, then being shown love is not just important from the minute you are born, but it can mean the difference between life and death. We need love to feel whole. We were not put on this earth to live it alone. To keep the world populated it makes sense why men and women should partner up to have children, and to have children the best possible situation is to be in love with your partner. For me I cannot be intimate with someone I do not have feelings for, therefore love to me is very important.

I am 52 and am waiting for my perfect love. Had I not experienced hurt and pain in previous relationships, then I wouldnt know what my perfect love would be. I believe he is out there and because of my previous "bad" relationships, then I am prepared to wait because I dont want to "make do" and suffer again what I have suffered before. It will be right this time I just know it.

The short answer to your question....lol, is we make mistakes with our partners because we dont have a lot to compare them with when we are younger. Its only when we have experienced this do we know what our perfect partner should be like. It all happens for a reason, we may not see it at the time, but it will become apparent to you one day when you meet that perfect man and you are made totally complete.

Answer 4

All the bad parts you describe are not love. Bad choices are made by those with low self esteem (settling), again with losing someone you had a bad experience with is not necessarily love, but dependance on that person, again from low self esteem.

True love is absolute, it is someone who makes you feel good, trusting, honest, caring, someone who you consider to be a part of you emotionally. Wanting what is best for the other person and being part of thier experiences.

All the expectations are just from what people see others do and think they have to conform to what society think is what marriage is all about, also materialism etc.

And yes you can fall out of love after the I do when that person changes and becomes someone else.

Answer 5

Love is a condition or phenomenon of emotional primacy, or absolute value. Love generally includes an emotion of intense attraction to either another person, a place, or thing; and may also include the aspect of caring for or finding identification with those objects, including self-love. Love can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience usually felt by a person for another person. Love is commonly considered impossible to define.

The concept of love, however, is subject to debate. Some deny the existence of love. Others call it a recently invented abstraction, sometimes dating the "invention" to courtly Europe during or after the middle ages (though this is contradicted by the sizable body of ancient love poetry). Others maintain that love really exists, is not an abstraction, but is indefinable; being a quantity which is spiritual, metaphysical, or philosophical in nature. Some psychologists maintain that love is the action of lending one's "boundary" or "self esteem" to another. And others attempt to define love and apply the definition to everyday life.

Answer 6

don't know what love is.
we need it cause it is part of our human nature.
it hurts because everyone's definition is different which leaves some of us hurt.
low-self esteem or poor impulse control contribute to poor choices.
we grieve sometimes because we are human and rejection or any loss has its consequences is often left with hurt feelings.
we have huge expectations perhaps due to an unclear picture of what is real and tangible. our expectations are sometimes more fantasies and far from reality so we end up with this made up guy and this made up idea of a perfect relationship and end up in HELLO.
for the i do and the rest of life.............i couldn't say. i have only been married for a month and it is soon to be a final divorce or annulment.

Answer 7

LOVE IS PATIENT AND UNCONDITIONAL ONE. IT IS THE WILLINGNESS TO UNDERSTAND AND TO GIVE UP FOR SOMETHING FOR YOUR LOVE ONE.IT IS PATIENT BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTAND IF THEY CAN'T GIVE BACK THE THINGS WE EXPECT. IT IS UNCONDITIONAL FOR IT HAS NO BOUNDARIES.WE NEED IT BECAUSE WE ARE MADE OUT OF IT. IT HURTS SO MUCH BECAUSE WE DIDN'T GET WHAT WE EXPECT TO RECEIVED.WE MAKE POOR CHOICES IN LIFE BECAUSE WE FOLLOW OUR HEARTS INSTEAD OF OUR HEAD.WE GRIEVE SO MUCH BECAUSE WE LOST OUR LOVE ONE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EVEN THE EXPERIENCE IS NOT GOOD,IT'S A PHYSICAL SEPARATION THAT WE CAN'T FACE IT.HUGE EXPECTATIONS ALWAYS COMES EVERY TIME IN LOVE AND MARRIAGE BECAUSE WE EXPECT TOO MUCH ON IT.BUT BEING MARRIED IS A FULL TIME JOB YOU HAVE TO WORK ON IT.I BEEN MARRIED FOR 28 YEARS NOW WITH THE SAME MAN AND IT'S NOT AN EASY JOB.YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BALANCE YOUR SELF WITH YOUR MAN.IT'S LIKE ROWING A BOAT.AS LONG AS YOU LOVE EACH OTHER AND YOU ARE ABLE TO LEARN TO COMPROMISE AND LEARN TO ACCEPT EACH OTHERS MISTAKE AND LEARN TO BE PATIENT AND RESPECT EACH OTHER YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO SURVIVED.MARRIAGE IS TWO DIFFERENT PERSON PUT IN TO ONE SO YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO ADJUST TO EACH OTHER ..SOMETIMES IT WILL TAKE YEARS AND YEARS , OTHERS DON'T ,OTHERS GET TIRED AND END IN SEPARATION OR DIVORCE.. REMEMBER THESE ---IT'S ALWAYS TWO TO MAKE A MISTAKE AND IF THERE'S A REACTION THERE IS ALWAYS AN ACTION BEFORE THAT. EVERY THING HAS IT'S REASON .BUT IF YOUR WILLING TO WORK ON THAT THEN IT WILL.
.

Answer 8

Love is a gift of god,it play a important role in every life, because it directly break the heart, because they r eager for sex that's y, because the love is the relation which is develop in the heart any accidents can fullfil by taking medicine but u cannot cure inner heart so that's y.

Answer 9

can't explain what exactly love means but all i can tell you is that you are not necessarily hurt by the person you hate most.
but most of the time you are hurt by the person you love most.
we need it most when we realize we made the poor choice aleady. we grieve for it when we realize how stupid we were in the first place to fall in love.

Answer 10

Try reading 1 Corinthians 13 in the Holy Bible...

It's quite revealing...

Answer 11

PARAGRAPHS, bro. PARAGRAPHS. the story is a unusual one, besides the undeniable fact that i think you could permit her bypass. She became as quickly as on no account thoroughly yours to initiate with, and this woman besides the undeniable fact that has ex boyfriend matters. It additionally seems such as you pushed too tough and pushed too at as quickly as. You needed tough strategies to questions she wasn't yet geared up to administration. and you took her sexting as a green easy to maintain pushing, which you somewhat usually will could no longer have finished. You adult males have spent time beyond regulation mad at each rather than certainly having a properly time. and don't say you p.c. to be friends with this woman, on account that this is not any longer what you p.c.. What you fairly want is to get her as your lady pal, and that's no longer going to happen until she respects you. As plenty as you will no longer want to take heed to it, she does no longer savour you ideal now. Your strikes have been too pushy and too desperate.