Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

BECAUSE HE GOT HIT IN THE PETER WITH A PAN

2007-03-26 11:40:05 · 26 answers · asked by Miss Chicago 3

there was a fight in the street, so a bunch of people grabbed a man frightened him and asked: are you with us or with the other guys? the poor man had nothing to do with the fight but he was scared so he answered : with you of course, they said, : well we are the other guys,
boooom

2007-03-26 11:37:56 · 13 answers · asked by zozza 3

hey do u have a joke or a yo momma joke tell me please and NO OLD MOMMA JOKES only if their funny thx

2007-03-26 11:35:47 · 7 answers · asked by Bloody Tears 2

2007-03-26 11:31:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

haveu ever done that i do it all the time. l0l!!

2007-03-26 11:29:28 · 16 answers · asked by hugsxkisses334 1

2007-03-26 11:26:42 · 7 answers · asked by oneradartwo 2

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the
apartment over his. "Many a night they stamp on the floor and
shout till midnight."

When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not
really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about
that time most every night anyway."

2007-03-26 11:25:00 · 30 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

A guy walks into a bar and notices a monkey sitting on the register. He asks the bartender, "what's up with the monkey on the register"? The bartender replies, "check this out". The bartender hits the monkey with the stick and the monkey unzips the bartenders fly, s X c k s him off and goes back on the register. The bartender then asks the guy, "wanna try"? He replies, "yeah but don't hit too hard with the stick."

2007-03-26 11:22:28 · 43 answers · asked by Tink 5

exactly that

2007-03-26 11:20:19 · 8 answers · asked by ceesteris 6

The Riddle Is ' What creature walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three in the evening

2007-03-26 11:17:42 · 16 answers · asked by rock_0n_dude 1

2007-03-26 11:17:32 · 19 answers · asked by phatso 4

2007-03-26 11:13:33 · 10 answers · asked by Millionaire in training 4

Joke #1: How to catch a Polar Bear:

This is how you catch a Polar Bear:
Dig a hole, then put some peas around it, and then some ash in it. When the bear comes to eat the peas, kick it in the ash hole!

2007-03-26 11:10:54 · 16 answers · asked by hanalulu2☺♥☻ 4

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best
and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens
to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you
and your wife...."

2007-03-26 11:10:51 · 17 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

2007-03-26 11:09:33 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-26 11:08:25 · 24 answers · asked by QPRfan 6

one day a 10 yr old girl is walking in the woods and sees a hound dog puppy. the girl takes the puppy home and askes her mom can we keep it? the mom says of course you can. the girl names the dog Peanut the girls name was kendall. the girl is now about 15 years old and has a boyfriend named joe.

2007-03-26 11:08:00 · 16 answers · asked by Animallover13 1

Okay,here's my Harry Potter riddle....

I lived in the Mountains.....
the first letter in my name is the same first letter of what I am.....
It's hard to hurt me.....
I now live on the Forbidden Forest......
I'm related to Hagrid.


If you are the first person to get it's name right,you will get ten points!

2007-03-26 11:06:28 · 4 answers · asked by ♥ Hello Kittly Lover ♥ 2

whats small like a mouse and stronger than a tiger?

2007-03-26 11:04:01 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A little girl runs out to the yard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's s*x?"

Her startled father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, s*xual inter course, s perms and eggs.

He goes on to tell her about p*berty, menstruatio.n, er*ctions, wet dreams... and, he thinks -- what the hell -- and goes on to tell her the works.

He covers a wide assortment of topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.

Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about s*x for?"

"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."

2007-03-26 11:01:47 · 28 answers · asked by trickyrick32 4

2007-03-26 11:01:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man was working off shore on an oil rig. halfway into his shift, he calls his wife..."Honey don't worry, I am ok. An accident occured and my finger was cut OFF"...She yells "The hole finger?" " NO, NO, it's ok," He replies " the one right next to it..... "

2007-03-26 10:57:07 · 31 answers · asked by trickyrick32 4

There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is Five Feet ten inches, and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?

2007-03-26 10:55:02 · 11 answers · asked by Ely 2

Hey peepazoids. This girl that I like is having a party, and she said that I can do a stand up comedy for the audience. I'm so scared, please give me some good comedian jokes or any suggestions so I don't embarrass myself in front of the girl I like! Please! Thanks.

-me

2007-03-26 10:54:49 · 10 answers · asked by Dashiznit 1

A 13 year old boy came home all happy.
His mom asked, "what did you do at school today hunny?"
"Oh i had s*x with my teacher," he said calmly.
The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room till his father got home.
When the father came home the mother said distroutly and close to tears, "Go talk to your son...he had s*x with his teacher today!!!!!!!!!"
The dad with the BIG grin on his face walked upstairs.
He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him.
The dad said, "son im so proud of u im going to get you that bike you have wanted."
They go out and buy the bike and the dad asked him if he wanted to ride it home and the son replied,
"Nah dad my b*m is still sore."

2007-03-26 10:52:05 · 18 answers · asked by trickyrick32 4

(1) Three guys:
One went to the opera to learn to say "Mi mi mi!"
Another went to the diner to learn to say "Forks and knives!"
The third went to the ice cream parlor to learn to say "He stole my ice cream cone!"

So the next day the 3 guys went to a parade and there was a dead body. The police asked who did it.
The opera guy said "Mi mi mi!"
The police then asked what he killed hime with.
The diner guy said "Fork and knife, fork and knife!"
The police asked why he did it, and the guy who went to the ice cream store goes: "He stole my ice cream!"

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*****
^rating scale

2007-03-26 10:51:17 · 12 answers · asked by j♥ 2

What's a word that starts with ' f ' and ends with ' k ' and has a ' u ' in it?

2007-03-26 10:51:09 · 7 answers · asked by Liizyy 3

Or someone you know. Just make me laugh! =)

2007-03-26 10:50:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A pastor decided to skip Sunday service and go golfing.
After playing several holes he made a hole-in-one.
God and an Angel are seen overhead.
The Angel says to God
"Now what did you go and do that for"?
God's reply is.
"Whose he going to tell"?

I heard this on the Joel Osteen program.

2007-03-26 10:49:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Have u got a joke about monkeys

2007-03-26 10:43:17 · 5 answers · asked by Mandmmastfe 1