any yo momma jokes?

Question

hey do u have a joke or a yo momma joke tell me please and NO OLD MOMMA JOKES only if their funny thx

one of my fav is yo momma such a whore i asked her can i spend the night she said shure i asked her what is for dinner she hoped on the tablle and spread her legs and said dig in!:}

Answer 1

Yo mommas so fat she tryed to go to Walmart but tripped over K-Mart and landed on Target...........

Your momma is so fat, I take her panties and I use it as the main sail of my yacht.

Yo mamma so fat, she got more rolls then a pastry truck!

Yo mamas so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs

Yo mommas is so fat.....fat is a complement!!!!!

Yo mommas so fat when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!

Yo momma is so fat the cows try get milk from her

Yo mommas so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo mommas so fat Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Yo mommas so fat She could sell shade.

Yo your momma so fat,that she had to take her passport photo by satellite.

Yo your momma so fat that her belt size is the equator

Yo mommas so fat Her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mommas so fat When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mommas so fat She can't even jump to a conclusion.

Answer 2

Your mommas so poor,I seen her walking down the street kickin a pop can and asked her what she was doing,she said "I'm moving."

You're momma so fat, she be sellin' shade!
You're momma so ugly, she walked down the street and got arrested for indecent exposure!
You're momma so old, her s*#t has wrinkles!
You're momma so stupid, she gave birth to you and asked the doctor if you were hers!
You're momma so poor, her idea of big spendin' is buyin' a gumball!
Yo Mama's so hairy,
her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
when I took her to a pet store they locked her in a cage.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
she has afros on her nipples.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
when she went to Remington and said "Shave this!" the salesman died laughing.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
if she could fly she'd look like a magic carpet.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non-union workers.
Yo Mama's so hairy,
Bigfoot took a picture of her.

Answer 3

Yo momma is so black, I developed pictures of her and they came out looking like negatives!

Answer 4

You momma sitting in a wheel chair talking about ain't nobody go push me around.

Answer 5

lol i have hert that one before lhehehehe ok here goes one

one time u invited me to your house and i saw a bugger on the wall and as i was taking it off your momma said dont take our family portraid of the wall...

lol hehehehehe

Answer 6

this joke is so stupid, but it makes me laugh:::::: your mommas so crosseyed, she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Answer 7

here we go :


Its that bad u have to leave! Yo momma so fat that she broke a branch on the family tree

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up

Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy"

Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips!


Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ***

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they got to her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo momma so fat she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide

Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!

Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!

Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development


Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.

Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.

Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat *** out of the way.

Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.


Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.

Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain
yelled "Land Ho!"

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she
turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the **** off."

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her
mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain
claimed her as a new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.


Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for
each time zone.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.


Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half
American.

Yo mama's so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so
hungry I could eat a horse!"

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.

Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of
hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the
sun.

Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear
a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a
scale. Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the
clothing store is the dressing rooms.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to
Jenny Craig is the door.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her *** weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area
codes.

Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the
cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."

Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size
bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.

Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of
her feet, she couldn't identify them.

Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she pulls up to a flashing red
light it sounds like this... Vroom, Screech, Vroom, Screech.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled Macy's wrong."

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said "Hey Boss, all the
small one's are gone."

Yo mama's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.

Yo mama's so stupid, when the judge said "Order in the court," she said "I'll have a hamburger and a Coke."

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.

Yo mama's so stupid, she died before the police arrived
because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"
Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.

Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.

Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain
yelled "Land Ho!"

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she
turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the **** off."

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her
mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain
claimed her as a new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.


Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for
each time zone.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.


Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half
American.

Yo mama's so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so
hungry I could eat a horse!"

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.

Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of
hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.

Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the
sun.

Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear
a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.

Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a
scale.


therre u go :)