Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

It goes, "A bunch of alagaters are on a plane to China. One has a broken chair in its mouth. That alagater says, 'Why are we doing this again?' to the head alagater. The head alagater says, 'Remeber, because its Wensday.'
I don't get what is so funny about it. Help!

2007-02-28 10:13:15 · 11 answers · asked by wild_t_10 2

lost control of the cab, and nearly hit a bus. The shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger apologized and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, I'm sorry, it's my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

2007-02-28 10:09:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why were the twin doctors puzzling?????????


they...

2007-02-28 10:08:49 · 4 answers · asked by Katie J 2

I need to hear jokes! Give me one and if your to best you'll get the best answer!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-28 10:03:35 · 16 answers · asked by April<3 2

Did you see when he jumped in the river, while he was in the rockies. Where did he get the life jacket he was wearing? Thats phony as hell.

2007-02-28 10:02:56 · 4 answers · asked by Anthony D 2

faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see" Watson replied "I see millions of starts" "What does that tell you Watson?" "Well, astronomically it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a moment, then spoke......"..Watson, someone has stolen our tent."

2007-02-28 10:00:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I can't take credit for it, but here it is:


First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

The teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie.

The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

2007-02-28 09:59:30 · 14 answers · asked by lkrhtr70 4

why did the monkey fall off the tree?it was dead!

2007-02-28 09:57:55 · 6 answers · asked by wamzy 2

Mr. Khara was reading a book on the sofa in the living room. Mrs. Khara walked in and did not notice her husband reading, she turned off the light. Why didn't Mr. Khara ask her turn the lights on?

2007-02-28 09:57:17 · 9 answers · asked by palestinian princess 2

2007-02-28 09:56:38 · 7 answers · asked by am 2

A cowgirl ride in on Friday, she stays two days, then rides out on Thursday! How is this possible- and yes it is suppose to say THURSDAY instead of FRIDAY!

2007-02-28 09:53:42 · 5 answers · asked by nat b 2

A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says, thank you and leaves.

2007-02-28 09:50:56 · 3 answers · asked by am 2

2007-02-28 09:44:00 · 3 answers · asked by alvarezplayer83 2

A man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a shotgun and points it at him. The man says, thank you and leaves.

2007-02-28 09:40:58 · 4 answers · asked by am 2

2007-02-28 09:39:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in andmeet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t residehere."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to thesame Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President HillaryClinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton isnot President and doesn''''t reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away .
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the verysame Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President HillaryClinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man andsaid, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking tospeak to Mrs. Clinton. I''''ve told you already several times that Mrs.Clintonis not the President and doesn''''t reside here. Don''''t youunderstand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing youranswer!"
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said,"See you tomorrow.

2007-02-28 09:29:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

The day before yesterday, Charlotte was 7 years old. Next year, she'll turn 10. How is this possible?

2007-02-28 09:27:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one. I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?

2007-02-28 09:25:10 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-28 09:21:04 · 3 answers · asked by JESUS-FREAK! 1

2007-02-28 09:18:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and his wife got into an argument, the man says, "How can you be so pretty but yet dumb at the same time?" Wife says, " I'm pretty so you would marry me, I'm dumb so I would marry you."

2007-02-28 09:15:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Know any good ones? Or know where I can find these funny and witty rhymes and riddles. Short jokes to text would be fun too.

2007-02-28 09:06:50 · 7 answers · asked by LISA F 3

What does Superman , Moses , and Cabbage Patch Babies have in common?

If you lnow please tell me if you know i need to know the answer

2007-02-28 09:04:20 · 9 answers · asked by Hannah 2

jonnys mother had four children,penny,nickel,and quarter. what was the fourth childs name?

2007-02-28 08:58:22 · 20 answers · asked by alvarezplayer83 2

Please answer these questions in order:
1. If pizza is round why does it go in a square box?
2. When we say "this hurts so much its not even funny" why would it be funny anyway?
3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
4. Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

These are the questions that haunt me!!!

2007-02-28 08:58:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

one night the wife turns the light on sees husband with a vibrator in his hand wife goes mad demands why the vibrator. Husband says i will expliain the vibrator you explain the kids.

2007-02-28 08:52:50 · 4 answers · asked by Shirlie 2

... that was on trial for public indecency, specifically, urinating on the floor in a public building. The judge asked, "Well, young lady, what do you have to say for yourself?" "Your Honor," said the blonde, "I was just following the instructions I saw on the sign." "Sign? What did this sign say?" asked the judge. Replied the blonde, "Wet Floor."

2007-02-28 08:51:22 · 14 answers · asked by gamblin man 6

Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy zigzagging in the yard?

Shut up and shoot again!
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to visit grandma!

Shut up and keep digging.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?

Shut up and flush


Mommy, Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here.

Shut up or I'll flush it again.
Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim!

Shut up or I'll flush it again

Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's Guts!
Shut up and eat what's on your plate.
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to China
Shut up and keep digging.
or
Shut up and keep swimming.
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up and get the marshmallows.
Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex?
Shut up and kiss me!
Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale?
Shut up and keep digging.
Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Shut up or you'll wake your father.
Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids?
Shut up and deal.

2007-02-28 08:47:27 · 14 answers · asked by a_word_of_praise 2

which is more similar to a circle? why?

2007-02-28 08:46:23 · 8 answers · asked by IzzyBelly 2

i had a very bad day today and i would like someone to cheer me up
can someone make me laugh with a joke or something?

thanks :]

2007-02-28 08:36:32 · 10 answers · asked by heyy sherry 3