Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

A father and his son are driving along a road when they crash into a tree. The father is killed and the boy is seriously injured. The boy is rushed to a hospital to receive surgery. When he gets to the operating room, the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son!" How is this possible?

If it takes you longer than three second to figure this out, you're a sexist!

2007-02-28 12:14:43 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clean: Tommy Took A Bath With Bubbles.

Dirty: Bubbles was the next door neighbor.

2007-02-28 12:08:54 · 11 answers · asked by Lt. V 2

Four cars come to a four way stop, all coming from a different direction. They can't decide who got there first, so they all go forward at the same time. They do not crash into each other, but all four cars go. How is this possible?

2007-02-28 12:06:31 · 31 answers · asked by swayavila 1

there is a logical answer to this i promice you

2007-02-28 12:04:56 · 17 answers · asked by Dante 1

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, and olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?

I gave up baked beans because i got married to a sweet gentleman. Months later on my birthday my car broke down so i called up my husband and said i'll be walking. On the way i smelled beans and couldn't resist so ate them. I was being sure that i let all the gas out before i went home.When i reached my husband put a blindfold on me for a suprise. There was a ring on phone and he went and picked it up. With a chance she farted and it smelled HORRIBLE! And she did it again and loud and again and again.When he came back he open the blindfold and she saw 12 dinner guest at the table. She fainted.

There's this man went to a hotel and got a computer room. He sent an email to his wife but left letter off. So it got sent to someone else. There was a widow, checking her email expectin relatvies emails for her husbands death. When she saw the mail she

2007-02-28 11:55:31 · 7 answers · asked by babycakes_rocks 3

Isnt it weird that we don't really remember how it was when we were in our mothers womb. Now there is this Nation Geographic show " IN THE WOMB" that can film you through out the whole 9 MONTHS process. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS SHOW??? WOULD YOU WANT THAT WHEN YOU WERE IN THE WOMB..?? or DO YOU THINK YOU REMEMBER HOW IT WAS????????

2007-02-28 11:55:30 · 9 answers · asked by AmY 1

can you help, if you see any opticial illustion sites that deal with people, and animals let me know the link thanks

2007-02-28 11:54:55 · 1 answers · asked by emzo2000 1

Seven friends stranded on a deserted island start arguing about what day of the week it is.
-Andrew thinks that yesterday was Wednesday.
-Dave disagrees, saying that tomorrow is Wednesday.
-John maintains that the day after tomorrow is Tuesday.
-Pete feels sure that yesterday was not Friday.
-Fred feels that today is Tuesday.
-Mick says that today is not Sunday,Monday, or Tuesday.
-Charli is adamant that it is Tuesday tomorrow.
If just one of them is right, what day of the week is it?

2007-02-28 11:53:26 · 7 answers · asked by J DOG 2

....answer the question....

2007-02-28 11:50:01 · 11 answers · asked by mysweetest666 1

"This is as light as a feather, yet no man can hold it for long.
What is it?"

"I was carried into a dark room, and set on fire. I wept, and then my head was cut off. What am I? "

Many things can create one, it can be of any shape or size, it is created for various reasons, and it can shrink or grow with time. What is it?

2007-02-28 11:46:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-28 11:35:46 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-28 11:33:41 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-28 11:27:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

In an exceptionally long corridor in a Space Station, there are one thousand windows along one wall. Coincidentally, there are exactly one thousand people in the station. The Captain orders the first person to open the blinds on every window. Then, he orders the second person to close the blinds on every second window. Then the third person is told to go to every third window, and close the blinds if they are open, and open the blinds if they are closed. The fourth person does this for every fourth window, and so on.
So, after all 1000 people complete the process, how many blinds are open?

2007-02-28 11:27:05 · 7 answers · asked by uwantbreadbai 2

I can be this, and you can be this. And, yes, we can be this. He can't be this and she can't be this. And no, they can't be this. Dogs can't be this, but cats can. And a kitten can't be this, but a puppy can. Givers can't be this, but beggars can. And humility can't be this, but greed can. Not even peace can be this, but fear can. What is "this?"

I'll post the answer tomorrow, unless u can figure it out 1st.

2007-02-28 11:24:23 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets.

"Who's the other ticket for?" the ticket girl asked.

"For my pet chicken." He said, pointing to the bird.

"I'm sorry," the girl tells him, "but we don't allow animals in the theater."

The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.

The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.

The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, "Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!"

Amanda replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Just ignore him. If you've seen one, you've seen them all."

The woman whispered back, "I know, I know, but this one's eating my popcorn!"

2007-02-28 11:18:37 · 24 answers · asked by Cartman 3

i want some jokes to tell my friends but i don't have any so please help me.

2007-02-28 11:08:24 · 6 answers · asked by chica 2

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

2007-02-28 11:04:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok well i have had the worst day of my life.can anyone tell me any funny jokes to make me laugh????

2007-02-28 11:03:17 · 18 answers · asked by Ally 2

The one that makes me laugh the most will get 10 points.

I'm most look for the sleepy jokes. But if u can't think of one then tell another.

2007-02-28 11:02:51 · 5 answers · asked by babycakes_rocks 3

Going Home Early

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss.

Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day the girls decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early??

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in quick workout at the spa before meeting dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss!! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"No way", the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."

2007-02-28 10:57:43 · 8 answers · asked by raybbies 5

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.
The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything and I'm using some of the insurance money for this trip."

"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer looked confused... "How do you start a flood?"

2007-02-28 10:51:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

do michael jackson and k-mart have in common...little boys underwear half off...

2007-02-28 10:48:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whats the relevance of the joke?

2007-02-28 10:47:38 · 5 answers · asked by Joseph M 1

im tryin to make a friend laugh

2007-02-28 10:47:05 · 3 answers · asked by jimmyz755 2

You're in a magical bathroom with no windows and the only way things can get in and out is by an open door. You decide to have a bath so you turn on the tap, you shut the door and the handle breaks so you can't open it, you then turn off the tap and the knob breaks so water keeps coming. How do you save yourself from drowning?

2007-02-28 10:33:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

farmer comes along & shoots 1 of them, how many are left?
The boy replies ' None'.
The teacher says 'How do you figure that?'
The boy says 'Well, when the farmer shot the 1st bird, the noise scared the other 2, & they flew away. So there were none.
The teacher thinks for a minute & says ' The answer I have here is 2. But I really like your way of thinking.'
The boy says ' May I ask you a question now?' The teacher agrees & the boy continues:
'3 women are sitting on a park bench, each has an ice-cream. One is licking it, one is sucking it, & one is nibbling it. Which one is married?'
The teacher thinks for a second & says 'It could be any one of them, what's the answer?'
The boy replies ' Well it's the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like your way of thinking.'

2007-02-28 10:32:26 · 17 answers · asked by funnygirl 4

There are four brothers in this world that were all born together. The first runs and never wearies. The second eats and is never full. The third drinks and is always thirsty. The fourth sings a song that is never good.
who are the four brothers?

2007-02-28 10:28:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

What would you do if a superhero, or somebody in full superhero costume (e.g. Spiderman or Batman) knocked on your window to draw your attention to them, showed you a sign which stated, "I'm going to throw a brick through your window", then bent down, picked up a brick and threw it through your window?

Bearing in mind that you have no way of knowing who this person is, how sane or not they may be, how much of their muscalature is padding and how much of it is real, whether or not they are armed, or have any accomplices waiting just out of sight, or even (unlikely, I know) if they really were a superhero, would you go outside and confront them?

Or would you ring the police? Think about it...
"Can you describe the person who damaged your window, sir/madam"?
"Yes, it was Spiderman."

See the problem?

So what would you do, if it happened right now at your house?

2007-02-28 10:26:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Al Gore, Carlos Mencia and Osama Bin Laden were traveling on an airplane. The pilot sees that they are going to go through some severe weather and they would need to dump some luggage. They did as the pilot asked but they were still a little too heavy to survive.
The pilot comes out and says, "One of you guys is going to have to jump out of the plane, but without a parachute." To make it fair, I will ask each of you a question, if you get it right, then you get to stay...get it wrong and you have to jump."
They all agreed and the pilot asked Al Gore, "What was the worst thing that happened on 9/11?" Al Gore answered, "The fall of the World Trade Center." The pilot nodded with agreement and then asked Carlos Mencia, "Ok...can you tell me how many people died in the attack?" Carlos answered, "About 1,500 people." The pilot told him he was correct and then asked Osama,
"Ok....What were their NAMES?"

2007-02-28 10:18:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous