Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

My first question is how do i fake sick , i don't want 2 go with my mom so i need a way to get out of it , need 2 vomit or fake a fever or somthing like it otherwise my mom wont belive me.(o i need any others you might have)

2007-02-25 04:30:01 · 10 answers · asked by Asha J 2

at yo mamma jokes

2007-02-25 04:25:00 · 4 answers · asked by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3

I'm sorry I'm late
said the man on a date
thought you might go off with you chums.
So I said Farket, I'll go via the fruit market
only to be held up by the

2007-02-25 04:22:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Okay, why -and that applies to MANY (Not all) scary movies- the girl has to be A. Blonde, B. Going to take a shower, C. Screaming "Hello?" when the phone rings but surprisingly nobody replies when she picks up?

FUN ANSWERS!

2007-02-25 04:04:34 · 9 answers · asked by Shadow Song 4

A lone walker marching through farmland that went right down to the sea, slipped and fell off the cliff. He managed to cling onto a twig growing from the rockface 100 feet above the rocks in the boiling sea. He called out to Heaven. "God, you can see me hanging onto this twig. Please help me." A voice called out low and commanding. "I hear you- Let go of the twig." The man said "Let go? I will fall." The voice said, "Have faith. Let go of the twig." The man let go and fell onto the rocks. the farmer peeked over the cliff and muttered, "Bloody ramblers."

2007-02-25 04:02:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is the missing letter ? j, f, m, a, m, j,_,a, s,o, n,_

P.S. give me stars. and i'll give who ever answer this a star

2007-02-25 03:59:28 · 13 answers · asked by xoxjoycexoxo<3333333 2

1.Why do people point at their wrist when they ask for the time and not at their butt when they ask where the rest room is?

2.Why do people put their hand on their ear when they tell you they were talking to whoever on the phone? Don't you already know how a phone operates?!

3.Why do people turn down the volume in their cars and listen carefully when they go into a dark isolated street?

4.Why do people run when it rains even though running gets you even more wet? *~Scientific fact~*

And most of all..

5.Why do people order a double cheese burger, with large frenchfries..And a DIET coke?!?!

2007-02-25 03:41:45 · 19 answers · asked by Shadow Song 4

2007-02-25 03:39:55 · 13 answers · asked by Frank G 1

2007-02-25 03:38:33 · 21 answers · asked by Frank G 1

Try to answer using as many Beatle references as possible.

2007-02-25 03:37:52 · 3 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6

1. I am round. You use me very often. You can put things into me. My weight is the same always, though I'm full of stuff or empty. Who am I?

2. Two cats were crawling down the road when one of the cats was hit by a car. What would be the first word the other cat would say?

2007-02-25 03:36:06 · 24 answers · asked by Dreams 1

Just say what u think...

P.S:Can anyone give me a star,please?

2007-02-25 03:25:10 · 18 answers · asked by Katarina 2

A blonde asked a Scot if it was true he wore nothing under his kilt. He invited her to feel for herself. The blonde felt around and said "Ooo, it's gruesome." The Scot replied "Aye, that'll be your hand that's causing that."

2007-02-25 03:21:29 · 10 answers · asked by Harriet 5

the 1st person who gets the answer will get 10pts...

2007-02-25 03:15:51 · 18 answers · asked by xbox 1

1-30 guess/
FIrst person who gets it BEsT answer!!!
if not.. the closest person!

2007-02-25 03:12:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

a rocket for her birthday, she says
"why the hell did you buy me this?"
man says
"you said you wanted space now p off"

2007-02-25 03:12:01 · 17 answers · asked by *♥* donna *♥* 7

2007-02-25 03:05:53 · 4 answers · asked by ♥Tingting♥ 2

Little Mary was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Mary?"
"My goldfish died," replied Mary tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Mary patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

2007-02-25 02:57:55 · 8 answers · asked by ♫ frosty ♫ 6

"What so funny" says the camel. The elephant replies "it looks like you've got a huge pair of breasts on your back". To which the camel replies " that's rich coming from you".

2007-02-25 02:24:40 · 23 answers · asked by ? 3

2007-02-25 02:22:21 · 8 answers · asked by walkswithwolves h 1

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.


Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.


Bush was baffled, so he faxed it to Condi Rice.


Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.


No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.


With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.


Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply: "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down

2007-02-25 02:13:28 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

has 4 letters, starts with a t and ends with a t?

2007-02-25 02:02:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

post here if you know.

2007-02-25 01:54:09 · 9 answers · asked by Chalck 2

The president is recieving his daily briefing.It concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident."

"OH DEAR GOD NO," Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks up and asks, "How many is a Brazillion??!"

2007-02-25 01:50:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A prisoner took three years but taught an insect to do tricks. It slept in a matchbox at night. First thing the prisoner did when released was to buy himself a pint. He opened the matchbox on the counter and his insect crawled out. "Hey landlord, look at this." The landlord swept the insect onto the floor and jumped on it. "I know, we've been plagued with them this summer"

2007-02-25 01:43:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok, you take the 13 letter word MELANCHOLIACS and add a r. after you had the r you rearange the letters to spell out the name of a famous actress

2007-02-25 01:41:40 · 8 answers · asked by cj 2

these will make your head go all wierd

what are the REAL names of these people
slade
sting
P diddy
50 cent
Emimem
Chico ( is this his real name or a stage name???)

when yankee doodle called 'it' maceroni what was it he called maceroni? the town, the donkey, the cap or the feather?

if you look in a mirror in the dark with night vision goggles, what would you see?

do penguins have knees?

cheers

2007-02-25 01:26:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

The sheriff of the small town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone. The wealthy man behind the wheel was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you stopped me. This town must be the butthole of the world!"

The magistrate looked at him and replied, "And you must be what's passing through."

2007-02-25 01:25:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Row, row row your boat....!

2007-02-25 01:22:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clue: 10-30

2007-02-25 01:19:27 · 24 answers · asked by SikSonic 4