Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

I only know this from where im from lol

2007-02-05 14:29:40 · 8 answers · asked by Sophie J 2

2007-02-05 14:10:26 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-05 14:10:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

have you ever voted for yourself as best answer?

2007-02-05 14:09:25 · 17 answers · asked by Fuzzy cream 2

2007-02-05 14:06:37 · 18 answers · asked by firas z 1

how do u put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
how do u put and elephant in the refrigerator?
the lion king is hosting an animal conference. All the animal attend except for one. which animal does not attend?
there is a river you must cross. but it is inhabited by crocidiles. how do u manage it?

2007-02-05 13:57:26 · 10 answers · asked by OMG ...really.? 5

Three moms are at a coffee shop, talking about their sons.

The first mom says to the others, "My son is the town Bishop. He is so well respected, when he walks in to the room, people say "Your Excellency."

The second mom says to the others, "MY son is a priest. He is so highly respected, when he walks into the room, people say "Your Holiness."

The other two moms look at the third, waiting to hear about her son. The third mom replies,

"Well my son is a male stripper, and when he walks into the room, everyone says, "Oh, my God!"

2007-02-05 13:53:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-05 13:53:28 · 4 answers · asked by heyyall 2

She has a tampon behind her ear and she is looking for her pencil!

2007-02-05 13:31:38 · 22 answers · asked by John in AZ 4

me and my friends do not know anymore.

2007-02-05 13:23:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Mystery 1...
A man was found murdered on Sunday morning.
His wife immediately called the police.
The police questioned the wife and staff and got these
alibis:
The Wife said she was sleeping.
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The Butler was cleaning the closet.

The police instantly arrested the murderer.
Who did it and how did they know?


Mystery 2...

A man walks into his bathroom and shoots himself right
between the eyes using a real gun with real bullets. He walks out alive,
with no blood anywhere. And no, he didn't miss and he wasn't Superman or
any other caped crusader.

How did he do this?


Mystery 3...

Old Mr. Tidy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend.
Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the
police "I was walking by Mr. Tidy's house when I
thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed his
study light was on and I decided to peek in from the
outside to see if he was in there. There was frost on
the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside.
That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front
door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called
the police immediately afterward."

The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the
murder of Mr. Tidy.
How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?

Mystery 4...
If you touch me, you will die, but you can only live
without me. I am a big part of your life, and will
eventually be the only thing left. You will learn to
embrace me finally and rest.

What am I?

2007-02-05 12:56:44 · 18 answers · asked by Melissa 5

A bad bet!


The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in

2007-02-05 12:53:52 · 10 answers · asked by ? 3

What object has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in?


How would you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.

At noon and midnight the hour and minute hands are exactly coincident with each other. How many other times between noon and midnight do the hour and minute hands cross?


There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them?

I have a tail, and I have a head, but i have no body. I am NOT a snake. What am I?

There are 20 people in an empty, square room. Each person has full sight of the entire room and everyone in it without turning his head or body, or moving in any way (other than the eyes). Where can you place an apple so that all but one person can see it?


U DONT HAVE TO ANSWER ALL OF THEM.JUST THE 1'NES U NO

2007-02-05 12:52:18 · 15 answers · asked by Emily ♥ 2

Gunners staggers into an A&E with a golf club wrapped around his throat. Concerned, the doc asks what happened.
"Well," begins Gunners, "I was having a quiet round of golf with the wife when she sliced her ball into a field full of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of these cows had something small and white in its backside. I walked over, lifted up its tail and, sure enough, there was the wife's golf ball lodged right in the middle of its a*se..and that's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doc.
"I yelled to my wife: "Hey! This looks like yours!"

2007-02-05 12:41:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I wrote a riddle yesterday and I was wondering what you think of it. Let me know if you think it's easy or hard and about how long you took to solve it. Thanks!


I can knock you down
Or caress your skin;
You can shut me out
Or let me in;
I can bring you calm
Or bring great fear;
I'm not always there
But I'm always here.

2007-02-05 12:38:54 · 19 answers · asked by Give life. Be an organ donor! 4

he didnt do it

2007-02-05 12:34:59 · 18 answers · asked by jctmyname 1

2007-02-05 12:33:25 · 9 answers · asked by AMANTILLADO 2

1. a man drove all the way from new york to san francisco only to discover that he had a flat tire frrom the very start, yet his car was completely unaffected by it. how is this possible?

2. a woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year, but they were not twins. how could this be so?

3. you can't keep this until you have given it.

any answers would be helpful. thanks in advance!

2007-02-05 12:32:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

the death of a man who had been buggered with a citrus fruit, then it came to him, ah my dear Watson it's a lemon entry.

2007-02-05 12:28:31 · 10 answers · asked by ........ 3

1st 1 who gets this right gets 10 points

You're driving a bus that is leaving on a trip from Pennsylvania and ending in New York. To start off with, there were 32 passengers on the bus. At the next bus stop, 11 people get off and 9 people get on. At the next bus stop, 2 people get off and 2 people get on. At the next bus stop, 12 people get on and 16 people get off. At the next bus stop, 5 people get on and 3 people get off. What color are the bus driver's eyes?

2007-02-05 12:25:53 · 12 answers · asked by Emily ♥ 2

A man was going the wrong way down a one-way street. There were two cops who saw him, waved to him, and did not give him a ticket. How is this possoble?

2007-02-05 12:20:27 · 14 answers · asked by Jenifer 3

guess the little riddle

2007-02-05 12:14:16 · 13 answers · asked by AMANTILLADO 2

Three men go to a motel and the clerk checks them in, the room is $30 so they each pay $10. The clerk tells the first gentleman that they were entitled to a discount of $5. Thankfully, the first man accepts the discount and gives the clerk a $2 tip. He then takes the remaining $3 and distributes it evenly between himself and the other 2 men. So by this logic, they each initially paid $10 and each got $1 back. Therefore, they each really only paid $9 and 9x3=27. If the man gave the clerk $2 dollars, $27+2= 29, what happened to the other dollar?

2007-02-05 12:10:54 · 4 answers · asked by John P 6

A 16-year-old boy was driving a moped down a one-way street in the wrong direction. A policeman stopped him and gave him a ticket. The policeman paid the ticket himself. What is a logical explanation for this?

2007-02-05 12:10:22 · 13 answers · asked by Emily ♥ 2

How was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download
from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us
had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a
little
Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got Male!

2007-02-05 12:04:03 · 21 answers · asked by kayjay 4

2007-02-05 11:52:52 · 11 answers · asked by Jumper 2

Please don't give me any corny jokes!

2007-02-05 11:44:39 · 4 answers · asked by muffinmaid123 2

Who has the best ending? I'll pick you as best.

2007-02-05 11:40:31 · 16 answers · asked by ? 1

ok what is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?




outlaws are wanted!!!

2007-02-05 11:36:06 · 12 answers · asked by !!! 3

2007-02-05 11:28:29 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous