What's the funniest joke you know?

Question

Please don't give me any corny jokes!

Answer 1

Three women, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were having a converstation during their lunch break at work when the topic came to be about their daughters.

"I found a 1/2 pack of cigarettes in my daughter's room," the brunette said. "I didn't know my daughter smoked!" The redhead gasped in awe.

Then the redhead added, "I found a bottle of vodka in my daughter's room. I didn't know she drank!" The brunette shook her head in disaprooval.

Then finally after listening intently, the blonde blurted out, "I found a pack of condoms in my daughter's room. I didn't know she had a penis!"

Answer 2

A blonde goes horse back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn't stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn't know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it.

Answer 3

well i know a lot of blonde jokes and yo mamma jokes but ill give u some good ones their not corny or cheese so ya here they go (if u don't laugh I'm sorry)

yo mamma-

"ur momma's teeth r sooo yellow, and shes soooo black that she looks like a Pittsburgh Steelers fan!"

"your mama is so old that i told her to act her age and she died"

blonde-
"theres a blonde and a red head working in an office, the red head wants to go home so she tells the blonde "im going to climb up there and act like a light bulb wen the boss walks in" so she climbs up there and her boss walks in the red head says "im a light bulb im a light bulb" the boss says "wats wrong with u? get down and u better go home for the day" so she gets down and starts to walk off and the blonde fallows her and the boss says "well where r u going" the blonde replies "i cant work in a dark office!"

"a blonde walks into a snowcone shop and orders a yellow snowcone, she claims it was sooo good that she wanted another one, well she didnt have ne money to buy one so she goes home and before she went to bed she wished that she could have another one, well the next morning she gets up and goes outside to get the paper and wen she looks on the ground she sees yellow snow, runs in her house grabs a cup scoops it up and licks it and says "wow that was better then the first one!""
(moral of the story-dont eat yellow snow!)

random jokes-

"a pirate, walks into a bar and says ow" jk jk!!
"a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says "umm...sir u got a (somthing that i cant remember to save my life, but its to stear the ships with if u get wat i mean srry that i cant remember wat its called) in ur pants!" the pirate looks down and says "AHH, its driving me nuts!"

"a magition owns a parret and every time he wanted to do a trick the parret would say "*squack* its in his hat, its in his hat" (or where ever he was trying to hide and make reappear), everytime he would go on stage the bird would give it away, well wen he was sailing on a ship he was practicing his tricks and the bird said "*squack* under the table, under the table" so the magtion took out a pistol and shot the bird. well the bird ducked and the bulet hit explosives, the ship was blown to a million pieces! and the only 2 surviers were the magition and the parret, the parret said "ok were the dam,n ship?"

"a pirrate was costing along and one of the crewmates comes up to the captin and says "theres a ship on yonder, loaded with cannons" the captin says "bring me my red shirt" so after the battle the shipmate comes up and says "captain y did u want ur red shrit" captain replies "so if i get shot in battle no1 can see me bleed and they would keep fighting" the crewmate thinks to him self "well thats a good idea" so the next day the crewmate comes up to him and says "captain theres 32 ships on yonder and their loaded with cannons" captain says "bring me my brown pants!"

if u didnt laugh im srry and plz excuse the horrible spelling

Answer 4

there r 3 ducks on trial for being at a pond way too long (just play along, it gets funny).

so the judge asks the first duck what it was doing there. the ducks says "i was blowing bubbles" the judge sighs and then calls the second duck.

he asks the second duck what he was doing at the pond so late. the duck answers "i was blowing bubbles" the judge sighs and calls the last duck.

The judge says "let me guess, u were blowing bubbles at the pond" the duck says "no, im bubbles."

haha u have to get it, its not that hard.