English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

[Selected]: All categories Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

1.You ever had a near death experience with a sheep?
2.What would people think if they could read your mind?
3.Type " turkey sandwich on pizza while butchering a pig" with your eye close

2006-10-05 15:31:27 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

A construction worker was whistling and verbally harassing
a young girl as she walked by the construction site.
She completely ignored him, and just kept on walking.
Annoyed the worker yelled "Well you're an ugly ***** anyway!"
The girl turned around and replied "It must be terrible when
even an ugly ***** won't give you the time of day?"

2006-10-05 15:26:14 · 18 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

I cannot find the answer to this riddle....You guys have got to help me out....
Here goes....................
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die.?

2006-10-05 15:23:43 · 22 answers · asked by Sweetea 4

decided to spend a few days at a rural resort. After a day of relaxing, she went for a winter stroll to get some fresh air. That was the last time anyone saw her alive. The autopsy revealed that her death was due to the pack on her back. What was so deadly about this pack?

2006-10-05 15:20:54 · 10 answers · asked by *babydoll* 6

1 : The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her." The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side. The next morning he asked for his bill. "It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said. "Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said.
"Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."

2 : If you believe in creation as espoused in the Bible, then Adam and Eve's children would actually have had to have sex with one another for the earth to have become populated.
This is surely proof positive that Alabama was at one time the Garden of Eden.

2006-10-05 15:16:42 · 20 answers · asked by Jazz 4

How can that be?

2006-10-05 14:56:47 · 15 answers · asked by *babydoll* 6

Becuase they can not find three wise men and a virgin

2006-10-05 14:56:27 · 6 answers · asked by barrettins 3

1. In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.

2. Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

2006-10-05 14:51:34 · 28 answers · asked by Jazz 4

One day a teacher was teaching her students about animals and made the comment that whales can't eat humans. So, a little girl raised her hand and said "but a whale ate Jonah." The teacher replied well I know for a fact that whales cannot eat humans. So the little girl said well when I go to heaven im going to ask Jonah. The teacher asked "how do you know Jonah went to heaven-he could have went to hell." The girl replied then you ask him.

2006-10-05 14:37:05 · 8 answers · asked by Renee 1

The other night I was invited for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise". Well the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed) in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in and I told him "midnight". He didn't seem p****d off at all. "Phew, got away with that one!Then he said "we need a new cuckoo clock". When I asked him "why?"...he said, "well last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said "oh s**t!", cuckooed 4 more times,cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more and then tripped over the coffee table and farted". :)

2006-10-05 14:35:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on their way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, the man decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up.

"What can I do fer y'all?" the attendant asked.

"Fill it with supreme, " the man said.

While the attendant was filling the tank, he looked the car up, down and sideways. "What kinda car is dis here?" he asked. "I never seen one like it before."

"It's a brand new Cadillac, " the driver said proudly. "It has power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a CD player, an 8-speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes, leather interior, digital instruments, a DVD player in the dash, etc...."

"Wow, " said the attendant. "That there's the fanciest car I ever did see."

"How much do I owe you?" asked the driver when the attendant had finished.

"That'll be $30.25, " he replied. The driver pulled out his money clip and peeled off a $20 and a $10. Then he went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change. Mixed in with the change were a few golf tees.

"What're them little things there?" asked the attendant.

"That's what I put my balls on when I drive, " said the man.

"Good gawsh awmighty!, " said the attendant. "Them Cadillac people think of everything."

2006-10-05 14:24:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

they’re always holding slumber parties in the crime cave

one tiny zit and they wont leave the house

they insist on criminals not seeing them in the same clothes twice

they wont fight crime if Oprah is on

they wont fight crime if they’re waiting for a phone call from that cute guy they met a few days ago

batman or Spiderman may try to steal her away from you

they kill people when they’re premenstrual

they wont use their fists to fight super villains in case they break a nail

they get crushes on villains because, 'he’s like so totally dark an' mysterious an' moody.'

if they’re having a bad hair day, forget it

2006-10-05 14:22:48 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A nun gets on a bus that's empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon and I want to have sex before I die but I want to remain a virgin so it must be anal and I don't want to commit adultery so the man must be single....can you help me fulfill my wish?" "YES" says the driver and fulfills the wishes of the nun.........Then feeling guilty he says to the nun "sorry, I lied to you - I'm married with three children". "That's ok" says the nun, I lied too - my name's Gareth and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party!" :)

2006-10-05 14:10:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

You must use the characters 2, 3, 4, 5, +, and = to make a legitimate equation that is correct. (As in both sides equal!!!) You can use each character only once and can use no other characters other than the ones listed. An example of an answer, although an incorrect one, is 2 + 4 = 35. Good Luck!

2006-10-05 14:04:29 · 12 answers · asked by gangsters_life_4me 2

What comes next?
Ten points to the most humorous!

2006-10-05 14:04:19 · 20 answers · asked by ♥Pamela♥ 7

A State Trooper pulled over a redneck in a pickup. He asked, "Got any I.D.?" The redneck driver replied, "Bout Whut?"

2006-10-05 14:01:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-05 13:28:02 · 21 answers · asked by Jazz 4

best answer (or closest answer to the correct one) is chosen!

2006-10-05 13:27:16 · 8 answers · asked by just_whatever26 4

2006-10-05 13:24:20 · 12 answers · asked by Biff Magiff 2

As a Brit - clearly we possess an award-winning superior sense of humour - but I do find 99.9% of Americans completely unfunny (the 0.1% being the late great Bill Hicks)

2006-10-05 13:19:41 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

An old ladies spreads her legs.

For the answer, next time you are eating a grilled-cheece sandwich, "OPEN IT"

2006-10-05 13:18:30 · 9 answers · asked by CoWBoY829 3

2006-10-05 13:17:32 · 32 answers · asked by Jazz 4

Other than the retard yell and the midget toss?

2006-10-05 13:11:25 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was dancin like Tina Turner on caffein at the donut hut the other night. I was tearin it up. Then a girl came up to me and said... and I quote, "you be trippin." My question is, be I trippin." And HELLO, don't say, "uh no, you be an idiot." Ok, actually, you can say that.

2006-10-05 13:10:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

1

what goes up and down at the same time, But doesn'move?

2006-10-05 13:05:58 · 10 answers · asked by Itzel 2

Can u put a spin on the classic fairy tale "Goldylocks and the three bears" and try to make it scary?
i would appreciate all help. Thanks

2006-10-05 13:01:32 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

RELIGIOUS BOYFRIEND

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the
pharmacist,
"Hello, could you give me condom. I'm going to my
girlfriends for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"
The pharmacist gives him the condom and as the young man is going out; he returns and says,
"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too."
The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says,
"Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is
expecting me to make a move!"

2006-10-05 13:01:31 · 32 answers · asked by Diezel 4

Say "My swing."


Also, what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

2006-10-05 12:55:56 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

fedest.com, questions and answers