Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

2006-10-05 07:07:31 · 4 answers · asked by Sakar 1

2006-10-05 07:06:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-05 07:00:06 · 15 answers · asked by Sakar 1

A plane crashes. Every single person dies. 2 people survive. how is that possible?

2006-10-05 06:49:14 · 13 answers · asked by that one girl 2

A NAIL SALON

2006-10-05 06:39:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Or does it just mean you do not get this joke?

2006-10-05 06:28:20 · 9 answers · asked by Puppy Zwolle 7

2006-10-05 06:20:51 · 9 answers · asked by twonker1991 1

What can go up a gutter down but can't go down a gutter up?

2006-10-05 05:31:35 · 23 answers · asked by loopy 2

2006-10-05 04:42:36 · 17 answers · asked by baby 2

2006-10-05 04:33:51 · 16 answers · asked by Dont call me retarded 1

Hi I need some really funny and really good jokes. It is hard to make my husband laugh. I even told him a few blonde jokes and others from here and he didnt find them funny. So can anyone help me. I will read everyones joke to my husband and the first one that makes him laugh gets 10 points. Unfortunately I wont get to pick my best answer until Saturday. So, Please help me. Any joke will be fine. Just make sure it is funny and really good.

2006-10-05 04:33:05 · 14 answers · asked by Katherine S 2

lol

2006-10-05 04:33:00 · 10 answers · asked by Dont call me retarded 1

2006-10-05 04:26:59 · 18 answers · asked by Dont call me retarded 1

who was the first person to look at a cow and say 'i think ill squeeze the dangly things and drink wot comes out' ?

2006-10-05 04:26:23 · 13 answers · asked by Dont call me retarded 1

ya.. apparently... it cuts itself! :P

2006-10-05 04:25:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

there are only THREE words in english language which end at GRY.
one is angry,other is hungry but the third one is what i cant find....help me get this word!
(hint: we use this word in our routine talks)

2006-10-05 03:40:56 · 15 answers · asked by sneha 1

Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

2006-10-05 03:40:02 · 14 answers · asked by Electric 7

2006-10-05 03:18:16 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

think think think!

2006-10-05 02:53:21 · 16 answers · asked by MaxwieN 2

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said,
"Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do
the following, your husband wills surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For
lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for
him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will
only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with
your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to
a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"

“He said you're going to die," she replied.

2006-10-05 02:52:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Colin came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Colin, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".
Colin was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Colin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

2006-10-05 02:52:55 · 12 answers · asked by zaazzy 4

Riddle

2006-10-05 02:49:39 · 11 answers · asked by ♡Choose Me♡ 1

2006-10-05 02:49:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

three riddles
what is the hottest day of the week?
what is the unhappiest day of the week?
what is the driest day of the week?

2006-10-05 02:43:10 · 17 answers · asked by pinkygirl m 3

My Uncle Pete says spermicide is when you toss yourself over a cliff.

2006-10-05 02:36:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

this is supposed to be for lil kids. I hope no one gets it wrong!

2006-10-05 02:31:57 · 11 answers · asked by ♡Choose Me♡ 1

2006-10-05 02:31:46 · 10 answers · asked by doc/salty dog 1

was a stage, how big would the curtains be and who'd pull them open

2006-10-05 02:24:04 · 12 answers · asked by polly a 2

My favorite is "Yo momma is so old, one of her pets was on Noah's arc!"

2006-10-05 02:23:32 · 12 answers · asked by songbird 6

Bobbie Sue had bigger breasts than Billie Jean. Billie Jean was always saying she wanted to get a boob job when she saw Bobbie Sue in the health club shower. Bobbie Sue however was a George Bush fan and whenever Billie Jean started talking like this she replied "Look you know what Bush would say: "________________________________________________________________________""

2006-10-05 02:16:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous