2006-10-05 02:31:46 · 10 answers · asked by doc/salty dog 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two priests walk into a bar.
--- Pause ---
You think one of them would have seen it.
2006-10-05 16:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by imacatholic2 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
2006-10-05 09:40:34 · answer #2 · answered by cheeks the slick 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
two nuns from Europe came to New York to attend a conference. They decided to spend a day seeing the sights. After a while they became hungry and decided that since they wanted to experience the American Culture they would eat at the nearest street vendor. The nuns were a bit alarmed when they saw that the vendor sold hot dogs, but decided that if they were truly to experience the culture they should try them. They ordered their hot dogs and walked over to sit on a bench to eat. The first nun unwrapped her hot dog and turned beet red. The other nun asked what was wrong. The first nun whispered, "Sister, what part of the dog did you get???"
2006-10-05 10:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two nuns, wearing the old black habits were walking arm and arm down the street. A drunk was staggering up the street, weaving around the middle of the sidewalk. The two nuns let the drunk pass between them and he staggered a few more steps, turned, and said, "Hey lady, do that again".
LOL, I know it's old, I heard it 50 years ago.
2006-10-05 09:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a man is in a confesional he asks to be forgivin as he swore a blue streak the priest asks he to recount his story he says i was golfing and i hit the ball into the lake the priest says tthen you swore he says no then a fish ate it priest says then you swore he says no then abird ate the fish the priest says then you swore he says no then a hunter shot the bird the priest says then you swore hee says no then the bird drops the fish the fish drops the ball and it lands 3 feet from the cup. the priest says let me guess you missed the fffffnnnn putt dindnt you
2006-10-05 09:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by barbariandarrylgellatly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look and saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.
He triped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out to the Lord.
Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent. A bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive through Christ our Lord, Amen."
2006-10-05 09:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by Electric 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two nuns in Rome are returning to the convent on their bicycles. It is getting late and very dark and they find themselves on a rough cobblestone street. The older nun realizes that they are lost.
The younger nun grows more frightened and finally remarks, "I've never come this way before."
The older nun replies, "It's the cobblestones."
2006-10-05 09:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by The Yahoo! Point Whore 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie?
They going to get the devil to come and take the priest out of the child.
2006-10-05 11:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by Valerie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What is a caltholic virgin??? A boy that can outrun the brothers of the parish.
Sorry I know its bad, forgive me and I'll go to confession today.
2006-10-05 09:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by LunaFaye 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Aren't you lucky that you still have Catholics to insult? You can just open a forum for people to mock our faith. You know you can't do it to Muslims, so you are fortunate to have us as a target.
2006-10-05 09:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋