Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

Joke: There was a hispanic guy, a white guy, & a black guy. The devil apeared and said, "If I grab ur d*ck and it melts, im gunna take ur soul away." He grabed the hispanic guy's d*ck, it melted and he took his soul away. Then he grabed the white guy's d*ck, it melted and took his soul away. Then he grabed the black guy's d*ch, it didn't do any thing. Then the devil grabed it again and nothing happened. The devil said, "Why ain't ur d*ck melting?" The black guy said, "Chocolate melts in ur mouth not ur hands!"
ROFLMFAO

Riddle: If there are 5 fish in a fish tank and 3 drown, how many r left?

I will 'add details' with the answer b4 this expires.

2006-10-04 17:35:00 · 11 answers · asked by JT 2

LISTEN, SILENT, TINSEL, INLETS, ________

2006-10-04 17:33:32 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-04 17:31:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-04 17:30:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-04 17:28:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

i've only been around for awhile but in my few years here ive had lots of success in life. i own 3 planes 6 houses and enough cars to fill an amusement parks parking lot. ive seen everything and ive been everywhere and i owe it all to 2 little rules ive come up with for greatness. well its your lucky day im gonna tell u and u can have it all too. Rule #1- Never tell everything u know and Rule # 2

2006-10-04 17:08:35 · 11 answers · asked by pajizzle 1

Because they like their pages bent over.

2006-10-04 16:56:25 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok here it is.
.....0
0...0...0...0
.....0

Move one of the circles so that there are 4 in each row.

2006-10-04 16:53:47 · 7 answers · asked by socks 2

Little Johnny is bored all day, hanging around the house. He goes into his parents room and finds them having s ex. "What are you doing?" Johnny asks.

"Uh, well, we're dancing." replies his mother.

"What's daddy doing?"

"He's my partner, now run along."

A few nights later, Johnny goes into his sisters room and catches her having s ex with her boyfriend.

"What are you doing?"

"Ummm, dancing."

"What's your boyfriend doing?"

"He's my partner, now get out of here!"

Then Easter came around and Johnny's relatives were at his house. Johnny went into the bathroom and saw his grandfather stoking his shaft.

"What are you doing?" Johnny once again asks.

"Why I'm dancing." said his grandfather.

"Well, where is your partner?"

His grandfather replied, "When you've danced as long as I have, you don't need a partner."

2006-10-04 16:29:13 · 6 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

A man in his 50's with a balding hair and a funky mustache was on a plane when it crashed into an icy river. A helicopter came to rescue people and every time he was given the safety rope he passed it on to someone else. When it was finally his turn to be saved he drowned and was never found again.
This is what YOU have to do to get ten points...choose one of the following...
1. Where did he come from ?
2. Who was he?
3. Where was he going?
4. What was his work and family like?
5. What were his thoughts and feelings during and after the crash?

2006-10-04 16:27:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman and her young daughter were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother one Sunday. As they passed through the cemetery on the way back to their car, the little girl said, "Mommy? Do they ever bury in the same grave?"

"Oh no, of course not, dear!" the mother replied. "Why on earth would you think that?"

"Well, that one back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

2006-10-04 16:26:32 · 6 answers · asked by Ruthie1959 6

2006-10-04 16:24:14 · 12 answers · asked by LUV SKOOL 1

2006-10-04 16:17:08 · 9 answers · asked by xSaarax 2

10 points for first correct answer.

2006-10-04 15:57:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have such a beautiful butt". Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt. The man's birthday is coming up so she decides to take a trip to the tattoo parlor and get the words "Beautiful butt" tattooed on her ***.

She walks in and tells the tattoo artist he husband thinks she has a beautiful butt. He looks and says, "You do have a beautiful butt". She then tells the man she wants Beautiful butt tattooed on her ***. The man tells her "I can't fit that on your ***, it takes up too much space. But I tell you what, I will tattoo the letters BB on each cheek and that can stand for beautiful butt. She agrees and gets it done.

On the man's birthday she hears him come home and is only wearing a robe. She then stands at the top of the stairs. He opens the door and she says "look honey." She then takes off the robe she is wearing, bends over, and the man yells "WHO THE **** IS BOB?"!

2006-10-04 15:55:04 · 15 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

what walks on 4 legs in the morning,

2 legs in the afternoon,

and 3 in the evening

2006-10-04 15:28:10 · 9 answers · asked by brian c 1

A word that's actually in the dictionary - Apart from yuck

2006-10-04 15:13:21 · 22 answers · asked by clarevale 2

2006-10-04 14:48:38 · 13 answers · asked by yASShoo 2

"here, here, here". Walking I make poo poo, who am I?

2006-10-04 14:41:15 · 1 answers · asked by otexasgirlo 3

rub the genitals.

The Hooker replied "Same as for the Jews"

2006-10-04 14:28:08 · 7 answers · asked by barrettins 3

FLO JO--
What did Chris Farley say when meeting FloJo in Heaven?
So you think you were healthier than Me? Well LA DEE FREAKING DA!!!!

PHIL HARTMAN--
What was the last thing Hartman said to his wife?
'Jeez, does someone need a Pamprin or what?!'

What do Kurt Cobain and hockey have in common?
Face-off in the corner.

What were Dahmer's last words to the guy that killed him in the fight?
"I use to eat guys like you for breakfast!"

Why is it a tragedy that John Denver died?
Because he didn't have Barry Manilow with him.

What would Diana be doing if she were alive today?
Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

Did you hear Rock Hudson died from botulism?
Bad meat in the can.

What did Rock Hudson say to his leading ladies just before a love scene in a movie?
"Come on, roll over and take it like a man"

LINDA MCCARTNEY--
Now she can be eaten by more than one beatle.

Ron Goldman's last words - hey you're OJ simpson

2006-10-04 14:09:14 · 22 answers · asked by homo.jesus 2

I got this from a children's book when I was a little kid, so if you don't think too hard, it's pretty easy. Pretend you are a kid and maybe you'll get it. If no one gets it, I'll email you the answer.

2006-10-04 14:07:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Quick Comebacks to Annoying Pick-Up Lines.




Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

2006-10-04 14:07:03 · 15 answers · asked by HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4

i found this one in a bathroom stall you had to a nickel for pay for oh its a little gross but funny too: here i sit, lonely hearted. paid a nickel, and only farted. LMAO!! plz dnt waste my time with answer like ur gross or something if u didnt like it then dont bother answering, plz. thx.

2006-10-04 13:54:13 · 17 answers · asked by 4theband 2

Two old men sat next to one another on their front porch of their house talking about old times. One old man named 'Bob' looked at the other, named 'Bill', and said 'You know what Bill, it's been a while since we got any, lets head over to the whore house and get us a whore'.
Bill agreed saying its been over 30 years since he had sex. So the two old men headed to the whore house and walked up to the owner and requested a whore each.
The owner, who didnt want to force her girls to sleep with old wrinkly men, decided to just give them blowup dolls figuring the old men wouldnt notice it wasnt a real person.
So she set a blowup doll in each room and told the old men that the women was waiting for them.
The old men went to their rooms and didi their thing, and in the morning they left.
On the way back home Bob asked 'Was there anything funny about those girls last night?'
Bill said 'Nah, but while i was doing her she did keep pretty damn quiet. why what happened with your girl?'

2006-10-04 13:53:43 · 22 answers · asked by ~-GaNjA-SmItH-~ 1

... what can you do when people keep pushing you in the well, you cant swim and your dominant side of the body (write, reach, etc) is rapidly wasting away due to disease and malnutrition? making climbing next to impossible,,, u recognize many faces above as acquaintances, neighbnors, lawyers, and local police and all are laughing and spitting,,,, sometimes late at night a nice lady comes by,, her name is jamie, she has chix wings and pasta if i climb up there,,, shes doesnt like use the rope to lower anything,,, shes strong willed and expects that from anyone lower (less intelligence, wealth, or power),, anyway her charm and beauty get u to climb to top of well,,, usually u accidently knock the food off the ledge into the well with the sewage but u asked her to move it this time so u wouldnt knock it and she accidently knocked it in while trying to help u,, so,, she says sorry and "love ya" but "dont want to get into trouble' ,,,and u jump back in well and enjoy ur meal,,,

2006-10-04 13:41:30 · 10 answers · asked by UrNo1Fan 2

His beak

2006-10-04 13:37:24 · 31 answers · asked by barrettins 3

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

2006-10-04 13:31:58 · 18 answers · asked by Keys 3

Willard Scott's rotundness; Bill O'Rielly's intellect; and Miss Piggy's vanity?

2006-10-04 13:24:32 · 4 answers · asked by barrettins 3

By the bug stains on his teeth

2006-10-04 13:12:03 · 11 answers · asked by barrettins 3