Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

tell me a false statement which is really really more admirable than truth . if Any body got the answer just tell me .. please..

2006-09-10 04:59:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-10 04:54:38 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5

Joke 1.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in! The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, I had no idea you were this religious. The boy turns, and whispers back, I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.

Joke 2.

Nuns

there were three nuns sitting at a cafe and the
first nun says guess what i found in the preachers bedroom.
playboy magazines!
the second nun says what did u do with them?
the first nun says i burned them...
the second nun says thats nothing, i found condoms in his room.
the first nun says well what did u do with them?
the second nun says i poked wholes in them all,
the third nun passes out.

Joke 3.
Elevator

A family of Hillbilies goes to the Mall, Where they are amazed, The mother goes off shopping and the father and son stare at these two silver doors that open and close everytime they close a new person comes out, then they see an old lady walk in and they hear a ding and a hot 24 yr. old blonde comes out, the dad whispers to the son, boy go git your mother.

Joke 4.

The world was about to flood so three girls climbed a mountain to talk to God when they got to the top god told them to jump of the mountain and shout what they wanted to become, the first girl shouted bald eagle, the second girl shouted drift wood and just as the third girl was jumping she tripped and shouted SH*T and thats exactly what she became... A BOY!!!

2006-09-10 04:47:50 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Long ago there was a pencil maker, he made lot of pencils he once made a beautiful pencil and told it
Dear pencil remember three things
1.you are worth to the world only when you are in someones hand
2.some times people use blade or sharpneron you which creates a lot of pain but remember it makes you perfect and better and better
3.there are some fat or thin or tall or short or beautiful or ugly pencils but the lead inside them is the same

Yes,we are the little pencils and we are shaprpened and we become shorter not in size but in EGO and when we are shprtst we loose our identity and fit wholely in the DIVINE HAND
-courtest:Sai Prerana
this is not a joke or a riddle but i felt its a nice story and worth to be spread

2006-09-10 04:42:11 · 9 answers · asked by Sai♥Pranav 3

what wud left leg of a blonde say to her right leg??

2006-09-10 04:00:44 · 13 answers · asked by ritz 1

The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?

2006-09-10 02:43:53 · 39 answers · asked by An N 1

If a Donkey is an ***,and a Goat is a Ram ,Why is a Ram in the *** a GOOSE?

2006-09-10 02:15:12 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

An explorer is sailing around in the pacific when his ship runs aground on a reef off a beautiful desert island. His ship goes down. And all on board except the explorer die. He floats towards the island and eventually washes into shallow water. Some natives discover him and take him to their chief.
After some excited discussion with his tribe, the chief comes over and speaks to the explorer. He tells him that the tribe is cannibals. And what’s more, that he would very much like to eat the explorer. The explorer is horrified by this news. He protests that he doesn't want to be eaten! The chief relents, and says...
"Because you plead so well you will be given a chance.
You must tell me a tale. If the tale is divined as true, then you will be given a merciful death. If the statement is divined false, then you will be roasted alive.

What did the explorer say to the cannibal chief to stop them killing him at all?

2006-09-10 02:10:37 · 16 answers · asked by tui 5

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his
courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
"Um, Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the
guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks
back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks
over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says,
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate
student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond
to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do
you mean $200?"

2006-09-10 01:27:26 · 17 answers · asked by miracleMB 3

Using calculators or any other technical device is not permitted.Answer should be a method of manual.(Piece of paper,Pen or pencil with your sense)

2006-09-10 01:17:43 · 13 answers · asked by JILMAAL 2

mind boggler

2006-09-10 01:02:03 · 15 answers · asked by LORRAINE W 1

2006-09-10 00:49:40 · 19 answers · asked by pikachu 2

Looking for as many different Confucious jokes as I can find. for example:

Woman who slides down banister has no hair by crackey!

2006-09-10 00:39:37 · 19 answers · asked by ? 1

2006-09-10 00:36:05 · 8 answers · asked by Mangrove 1

forwards its heavy, backwards its not

2006-09-10 00:34:40 · 12 answers · asked by Karatekid 2

2006-09-10 00:33:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is it that when you take away the whole
you still have some left over?

2006-09-10 00:32:51 · 13 answers · asked by Karatekid 2

What goes up, but at the same time goes down, up to the sky and down to the ground, my present tense and my past tense too, lets go for a ride just me and you...what am i?

2006-09-10 00:27:50 · 22 answers · asked by Karatekid 2

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

2006-09-09 22:22:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

you have a tooth ace and you see this big mars bar in front of you so delicious ymmy you will eat it or not?

2006-09-09 22:02:58 · 15 answers · asked by kasi n 1

A penguin takes his little penguin car into the garage to be fixed, the mechanic says "i'll check it over but it may take a while". The penguin leaves the car and heads off into town to do some window shopping, whilst doing this he spots an icecream van and decides to have a snack but he only has flippers and struggles to keep the icecream on the cone. After his snack he heads back to the mechanic who says " it looks like you've blown a seal " and the penguin says "no its just a little icecream".

2006-09-09 21:42:57 · 26 answers · asked by emergency_hammer 2

This bloke's ram dies just before lambing season. So he phones his neighbour who also is a famer and asks him how much would it cost him to buy a ram from him. He reply's 3000 pounds the bloke say's he can't afford that type of money. His neighbour say's make love to them yourself.

So the next morning the bloke take's his Landrover and put 6 sheep into it and drives off to a place were he makes love to them and he then returns to the farmhouse.

The following morning he looks out the farmhouse window and the sheep are still standing and not lying on the belly's a pregnant sheep do.

So once again 6 sheep go into the Landrover for a seeing to?

The next morning his wife is getting up and he asks her to look out the window as he's knackered. His wife looks out and reply's there not standing up or on their belly's?

What are they up to said the bloke.

Oh there sheep jumping into the Landrover and one is tooting the horn!

2006-09-09 21:35:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

This young lady goes into a tattoo parlour and explains to the bloke inside that she wants a tattoo put on her southern region?

The bloke say's "That's okay, but I'll need to numb it first"

The lady say's "Okay then"

So the bloke put his head between her legs and goes "Numb, Numb, Numb" with his tougue.

2006-09-09 21:27:46 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

(before) NKF stands for NATIONAL KIDNEY FOUNDATION
(After the tt durai corruption/cheating case) NKF stands for NOW KANA F*UCK

2006-09-09 21:09:11 · 10 answers · asked by chasen54 5

Two babies in a pram and one say's to the other "Are you a wee boy or girl".

The other baby reply's "I don't know, how can you tell"

So the first baby looks under the covers of the pram and say's " Your a girl and I'm a boy"

The girl say's "How can you tell"

And the boy say's " Easy! I've got blue boots on and you have pink ones"

2006-09-09 21:07:41 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-09 20:51:35 · 26 answers · asked by cocopuff man 1

2006-09-09 20:46:17 · 8 answers · asked by cocopuff man 1

2006-09-09 20:45:25 · 9 answers · asked by Axel 2

2006-09-09 20:44:15 · 5 answers · asked by Axel 2

About anything. I need to laugh right now. Plus, I now you are all dying to compete for 10 points!!!!!

2006-09-09 20:34:57 · 30 answers · asked by ? 2