Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

2006-09-09 10:32:17 · 5 answers · asked by CKRT SQRL 5

You may have already seen this, see it again...
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/watch.htm

2006-09-09 10:29:23 · 13 answers · asked by ~ Just Me ~ 5

...that when she fell asleep in the library, she woke up and a blind man was reading her face.

2006-09-09 10:26:12 · 0 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

2006-09-09 10:23:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

a women is in the hospital having twins,the first baby came out fine the doctor slap the baby in the behind the baby starts to cry loud,then they wait for the second one to come out 1 hour passed nothing 2 hours passed nothing the doctor says okay we wait long enough we are going to have to pull the baby out, the nurse heard that and said wait let me chek what is going on,so she looked inside to see what was going on with the other baby, when the other baby saw the nurses head he asked is the guy that hit my brother still out there.

2006-09-09 10:20:27 · 24 answers · asked by what is the good word? 4

I got barred from B&Q last week...I walked in and some prat in dungarees asked me if I wanted decking?

Luckily I got the first punch in!!

2006-09-09 10:18:52 · 6 answers · asked by Chris M 3

2006-09-09 10:13:51 · 11 answers · asked by cosmoestyle 2

i wont short jokes that are easy to remeber

2006-09-09 10:13:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man walks into asda, slaps his knob down on the counter and says'here roll this f****r back'

2006-09-09 10:10:01 · 12 answers · asked by SPONGEBOB 1

I heard that the Virgin mobile phone is really awsome, and I really want to touch one and see for my self.

2006-09-09 10:07:24 · 9 answers · asked by Creative Name 3

a cheese sandwich walks into a pub and asks for a pint.sorry says the barman we don't serve food here.

2006-09-09 10:04:03 · 15 answers · asked by SPONGEBOB 1

as i was walking to saint ives i met a man with seven wives each wife had seven sacks in each sack was seven cats and each cat had seven kittens how many was going to saint ives?

try to figure that out peoples!

2006-09-09 10:02:19 · 19 answers · asked by ~tay~tay~ 1

an englishman,irishman and scotsman are being interviewed for a job.the boss takes each of them in his office one at a time and says,if you answer this question right you have a job.there is a carrot,potato and a knife on the table.the man asks the englishman which is the odd one out.he tells him the knife as the other two are vegetables.he asks the scotsman and he says the same thing.he then asks the irishman and he says the carrot because the other two are used for making chips.

2006-09-09 09:54:26 · 17 answers · asked by SPONGEBOB 1

A man lived on the 45 floor of an apartment building. Every day he would go somewhere he would push 1, for first floor. When he came back he would go to the elevator and push 30, for the 30th floor. Then the man would walk up 15 flights of stairs just to get to his apartment. He did this every time when coming home. Why did he take all these extra steps?

2006-09-09 09:51:07 · 16 answers · asked by Rachael 3

it's a rainy day in the countryside and a man pulls up in his car alongside two crisps.'would you like a lift' says the man,'no it's ok' replies the crisp'we're walkers'.

2006-09-09 09:45:06 · 21 answers · asked by SPONGEBOB 1

A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays for three days, then leaves on Friday. How is this possible?

2006-09-09 09:32:00 · 19 answers · asked by blazer_damn 2

Just someone who likes a good laugh every now and then!

2006-09-09 08:50:08 · 3 answers · asked by Hauntedfox 5

Who went into a bar, for a shandy.
He lifted his kilt, to wipe up what he'd spilt... What's the last line?

2006-09-09 08:24:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a
fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting
on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting,
they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter
finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this
is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he
leaves.

The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they
really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of
it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck
together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking
somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get
married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's
wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims,
"It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any
idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"

2006-09-09 08:19:09 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-09 08:16:44 · 30 answers · asked by monkey_man_mto 2

2006-09-09 08:08:19 · 32 answers · asked by daniel r 1

1 train went into a dark tunnel at 100mph at 8:00 and so did another so why didnt they collide?

2006-09-09 07:48:15 · 25 answers · asked by ? 1

OLYMPIC CONDOMS

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.

Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts. "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course," says the man proudly.

The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

2006-09-09 07:47:57 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Confucious say-man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

2006-09-09 07:46:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

How did it work out?

To get you started, I'll give you some of my own...

Once I took the ball out of my colleagues' computer mice. Nobody could use their computer!

Another time I set my mate's alarm clock for 3am and hid it behind the radiator, then I took the batteries out of their bedside torch....

2006-09-09 07:29:35 · 17 answers · asked by Ms. Roxie 2

A youth who lost his mother wanted his father to marry another woman. The son prayed his father to allow him to select his new mother for which the father agreed with another condition that he will select his daughter-in-law. Both went in search of each other's spouse. On their way, on the mud, they saw two person's foot print following one another. They guessed that two women passed that way few minutes before. among those foot prints one pair was smaller than the another. The father told his son that the woman of the small foot print would be his daughter-in-law, simillarly the son wanted his father to marry the woman of big foot print. Following those foot prints they reached the two women. their enquiries revealed that the woman of small foot is the mother of the girl of big foot. as promised, the son married the mother and father married the daughter. later each of them got a child. tell me the relationship between the two childs and how did they call each other before they named?

2006-09-09 07:16:33 · 14 answers · asked by Naveen 2

A same word fits to all this

2006-09-09 07:07:19 · 19 answers · asked by paramasivan u 1

http://www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html
go to this link and try solving this puzzle.i could reach upto page 8 comfortably.can u guide me after it?

2006-09-09 07:04:59 · 17 answers · asked by vengatesan s 1

2006-09-09 06:20:19 · 8 answers · asked by Gabe W 1

They were both found face down in the water!!! lol lol lol lol lol lol

2006-09-09 05:54:37 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous