Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
LOL just thought I'd ask. She's not in here.....Hmmmmmm! Where could she be hiding?

It's been 4 months. She's escaped!

2006-08-18 04:39:07 · 7 answers · asked by elliott 4

A doctor who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman patient for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told the woman to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee.
"Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks.................................. And believe me, it helps me sleep at night

2006-08-18 04:27:46 · 19 answers · asked by Erin A 2

this person pi.ssed me off...i was happy, then mad. ugh.

2006-08-18 04:19:46 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

A- Damn good kisser.
B- Good all around person.
C- You're wild & crazy.
D- You have one of the best personalities ever.
E- You have a nice ***.
F- People totally adore you.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You get hyper easily.
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things
L- You live to have fun.
M- Success comes easily to you.
N- You are absolutely beautiful.
O- You're an awesome person.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Sexy !
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgemental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z- You're a little too hard to find.

by the way i'm kriselda anica... lol.. =p

2006-08-18 04:15:48 · 28 answers · asked by anica 2

Instead of Ken and Barbie?

2006-08-18 03:48:21 · 17 answers · asked by anitahooker_transvestite 2

Remember the fox/chicken/grain question with the farmer who has only enough place in his boat for himself and one of the items? No?

This time I'm adding a fourth dimension. Same three items (fox, chicken, sack of grain), same boat capacity, but this time you have a limited number of crossings (3)...

Your mission as the Farmer is to transport the fox, the chicken and the grain over the river in your boat. To begin with, you are on one side of the river with the three items and you have to cross to the other side.
If left alone, the fox will eat the chicken. In turn, if left alone, the chicken will eat the grain.
You may cross the river only three times.
How do you do it?

2006-08-18 03:47:35 · 8 answers · asked by David R 3

AZMA, is a very precious "abbreviation" to me,,, what do u think it refers to ?
Its very hard to know what the letters mean! just try to know what does it refer to ?

2006-08-18 03:27:06 · 17 answers · asked by Lona aa 2

Ten points points to the first person who can make me laugh the longest without using curse words or anything to long.

2006-08-18 03:22:15 · 15 answers · asked by K H 1

2006-08-18 03:00:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why is The Sky Blue

2006-08-18 02:56:46 · 22 answers · asked by JayShaw13 1

2006-08-18 02:25:04 · 24 answers · asked by Rock 2

You know you live in 2006 when...
















1. You go to a party, sit down and take Bebo pics.



















2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in
years.




















3. The reason for not staying in touch with your
friends is that they don't have MSN/Bebo/MySpace.




















4. You'd rather look all over the house for the
remote instead of just pushing the button on the
TV.




















6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.



















7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.




















8. You think about how stupid you are for reading
this.



















9. You were too busy to notice number five.


















10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there
was a number five.

2006-08-18 02:17:24 · 24 answers · asked by anica 2

How this is done ....... see link for video below ....

http://www.jokaroo.com/extremevideos/split_in_half.html

2006-08-18 02:04:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-18 02:02:51 · 14 answers · asked by Tamsin 2

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with President Dr APJ Abdul Kalam.
He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your
father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Kalam. He hangs up and
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks
a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon returning to Washington ,
decides he'd better put the Condoleeza Rice to the test. Bush summons
her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer
a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back
to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of
senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours,
but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice
calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and
this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush,
and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"…………

2006-08-18 02:00:53 · 8 answers · asked by easyboy 4

On a septic tank truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
Invite Us To Your Next Blowout

Sign over a gynecologist's office:
Dr. Jones -- At Your Cervix

On a plumber's truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

On a plastic surgeon's office door:
Hello! Can we pick your nose?

At a towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We just want tows.

On an electrician's truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts

On a maternity room door:
Push. Push. Push!

At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a taxidermist's window:
We Really Know Our Stuff

In a podiatrist's office:
Time wounds all heels.

Outside a muffler shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company:
We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.

In a restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.

And...

At a propane filling station:
Thank Heaven For Little Grills

2006-08-18 01:52:50 · 22 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

We spell fork as F O R K
And york as Y OR K

What is the white of an egg called?

2006-08-18 01:52:39 · 17 answers · asked by piperzee 1

liar?

2006-08-18 01:31:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-18 01:14:15 · 12 answers · asked by then m 1

a michigan wolverine, a cleveland browns fan, a frenchman and a bag of crap

2006-08-18 01:05:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Question

I can sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg,
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg,
I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole,
I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole,
What am I?

Question.

I have no loc or key yet a golden treasure lies within me..What a I?

2006-08-18 01:03:23 · 14 answers · asked by liltexas36 3

Latest report said "200 bodies found but pilot still missing"

2006-08-18 01:03:08 · 5 answers · asked by John M 1

infested sea. Lawyer swims, sharks come and form two lines, one shark swims upto lawyer then moves aside to let him pass. The doctor say's "good god"that must be a miracle, no said the priest Just "professional etiquette". Even ( A Loan) alone shark gives way to a lawyer. Anyone beat this

2006-08-18 00:40:14 · 18 answers · asked by John M 1

Did you guys know that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west? :-)

Be frank and honest with this one, ok. :-)

2006-08-18 00:35:45 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

answer these 7 riddles 4 10 points?
1) I stand on one leg with my heart in my head. What am I?
------------------------------...
2) I have a mouth, I do not speak; I have four eyes, but cannot see; I have a bed, but do not sleep; Can you tell me who I be?
------------------------------...
3) What has six legs, two heads, four ears and two hands, and walks on four feet?
------------------------------...
4) I have a barrel without any beer. My sight is advanced, but I have no eyes. I have many chambers, but none are my home. What am I?
------------------------------...
5) He who makes me, makes me to sell. He who buys me does not use me. He who uses me does not know it. What am I?
------------------------------...
6) I speak when I am asked to, I always perform the correct role, I am punctual every day of my life, but everybody hates me. Who am I?
------------------------------...
7) I am lower with a head than without one. What am

2006-08-18 00:31:44 · 7 answers · asked by liltexas36 3

i was laughing because.....................................

2006-08-18 00:28:32 · 27 answers · asked by Fishi 3

please dont bash me for being stupid!!! i just dont know!!by the way are the lil thumbs up thingys how you've been rated?? ( see i tole ya i wasn't very good at this)




yet!!

2006-08-18 00:18:52 · 11 answers · asked by BALDILOX 2

2006-08-18 00:06:26 · 17 answers · asked by Eva 2

A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password
that
was required. He waited by the door and listened.



A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The
member replied, "six " and was let in.



A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The
member
replied, "three" and was let in.



The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The
doorman
said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five."

But he was not let in. What should have he said?

2006-08-18 00:04:15 · 15 answers · asked by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2

jokes or riddles with answers...thx bunches!

2006-08-17 23:50:49 · 16 answers · asked by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2