Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Go to my 360 page and let me know what you think?

2006-08-18 08:17:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

try it

2006-08-18 08:11:23 · 14 answers · asked by a-illa 1

2006-08-18 08:09:16 · 28 answers · asked by lozzi_pop22 4

If you were lost in the desert,and you found the "Lamp of the Genni",who grants you one wish,what will it be ?

2006-08-18 07:54:37 · 19 answers · asked by lrantisi 2

I dont like racist jokes.

2006-08-18 07:40:27 · 13 answers · asked by ♥JAMIE♥ 2

so three blondes are walking through a forest, and the first one looks down and says...whadya look at that! deer tracks!...the second one looks at her and says...no you moron...those are clearly fox tracks....the third blond shakes her head....your both idiots....those are clearly moose tracks....look you can even tell by the................

Then they got hit by a train

Haha

anybody wanna share any jokes...they dont have to be blonde jokes....make fun of anybody...i wanna laugh

2006-08-18 07:38:26 · 5 answers · asked by paperclips86 1

Scientists have proven that cats have more hair on one side then their other side. Some people believe that this is because when cats lay on their side they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a cat has more hair?

2006-08-18 07:31:58 · 28 answers · asked by Erin A 2

I have 3 immigration solutions to solve all of our problems.

1.) Buy Mexico

2.)Build a wall on all of our boarders. Put a big bubble that covers the sky so nothing can get in or out. Have our own cliamate control.

-or-

3.) Make your own up

2006-08-18 07:18:33 · 22 answers · asked by Erin A 2

2006-08-18 07:13:08 · 6 answers · asked by nba07 1

Don't get me wrong, I love Y!A and I'm addicted too.

2006-08-18 07:09:50 · 26 answers · asked by Human 2.1 4

2006-08-18 07:04:39 · 17 answers · asked by Sandra 4

If it's true that we are here to help others,

then what exactly are the others here for?

2006-08-18 06:56:25 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

the name of a bird while the other is another way of describing a process of moving round. What are the words?

2006-08-18 06:45:07 · 11 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

Read this to the end! A man and a woman was having sex when a bee enters the bedroom and goes inside the woman's vagina. The couple gets scared and goes to the hospital. The doctor tells the man there is only one way to get the bee out. The man replies, do whatever it takes. So the doctor pours some honey on his penis and inserts it in the woman's vagina thinking it'll attract the bee and get it out, while the man is anxiously watching. The doctor gives it a couple of good strokes and the man is now starting to get really anxious. So the doctor tells him don't worry, only a couple more strokes and everything will be fine. Now the doctor starts pounding his dick real hard into her vagina and the man yells, what the hell do you think you are doing? The doctor replies, "change of plan sir, I am gonna drown that sucker instead".

2006-08-18 06:39:17 · 65 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok this is the funniest joke EVER:

A guy walks into a park and sees a baby lying on the ground. He says to the baby "why are you lying on the ground" and the baby totally spits up but it's not milk it's HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS!! so the guy takes like a million bucks from the baby and goes to a store and says "I WANT EVERYTHING IN THIS STORE HERE'S THE MONEY!!" lol and the guy in the store says "YOU CAN'T PAY WITH THAT, IT'S GROSS DISGUSTING SPIT-UP AND YOU'RE INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" LOL so the guy goes back to the baby and says "HEY THOSE DOLLAR BILLS WERE ONLY SPIT-UP" and the baby says "YOU'RE INSANE TALKING TO A BABY THAT DOESn'T EVEN EXIST!!!!!!!" and the guy looks around and there is NO BABY and he's like what the hell and he like totally farts.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-18 06:34:57 · 62 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and woman are seated next to each other on a plane. After takeoff, the woman violently sneezes and excuses herself to go to the bathroom... so the man stands up to let her out.
She returns, and 15 minutes later she sneezes again big time, and again excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
She returns again, and immediately sneezes, excusing herself to go to the bathroom.
The man, a little tired of jumping up so often...asks her: "You keep sneezing, what's the problem?"
The woman replies: "I have a rare condition...every time I sneeze I have an orgasm."
He says, "Oh... what are you taking for it?"
She says: "Pepper.”

2006-08-18 06:30:37 · 24 answers · asked by VetteLeo 6

One morning micky mouse woke up got dressed and looked out his bedroom window "oh what a beuatifull day he thought "when all of a sudden he looked down in the snow and written in urin a message sayed "micky sucks" so he whent to the police to see who did, it the next morning the police called him and says " hey mickey we have bad news and worse news , the bad news is its goofy's urin , the worse news is its minnies handwriting.

High five? Or Low Five? Funny comments a plus...
SmileyCat : )

2006-08-18 06:28:59 · 17 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

Original English Text:
I am a yankee doodle dandy
Translated to Japanese:
私はおしゃれなヤンキーの落書きである

Translated back to English:
I foppery am scribbling the Yankee

Translated to Chinese:
I foppery 上午乱写美国人

Translated back to English:
I foppery morning scribbles the American

Translated to French:
Griffonnages de matin du foppery I l'Américain

Translated back to English:
Griffonnages of morning of the foppery I the American

Translated to German:
Griffonnages des Morgens des Foppery I der Amerikaner

Translated back to English:
Griffonnages of the morning of the Foppery I of the Americans

Translated to Italian:
Griffonnages della mattina del foppery I degli Americani

Translated back to English:
Griffonnages of the morning of the foppery of the Americans

Translated to Portuguese:
Griffonnages da manhã do janotismo dos americanos

Translated back to English:
Griffonnages of the morning of the janotismo of the Americans

2006-08-18 06:25:39 · 3 answers · asked by redunicorn 7

While riding the range one day, a ventriloquist cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and decided to have some fun with him.

Cowboy: "Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' good."

The Indian is shocked.

Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He lets me run free twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Indian has a look of total disbelief.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how are you?"

Horse: "Good."

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" indicating the Indian again.

Horse: "Yep"

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me under a tree to protect me from the rain."

The Indian stares in utter amazement.

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep is liar."

2006-08-18 06:11:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

What has a head an a tail, but can never see it's tail?

Hint: It's not an animal.

2006-08-18 06:10:42 · 27 answers · asked by Jasmine 5

Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"

Thumb up or down?

2006-08-18 06:08:47 · 11 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

On a high desert plain, a park's vegetation inspired the name of one of the most popular albums ever. Tell me the name of the hard rock head that sits empty among it all.

2006-08-18 06:03:59 · 7 answers · asked by Daisy Jo 1

I last saw evidence of Mullis in Germany. Prior to that it was Kuwait. I believe His origin is in Iraq. I saw evidence there too.

2006-08-18 05:50:17 · 16 answers · asked by elliott 4

2006-08-18 05:37:16 · 5 answers · asked by babiegrl 1

2006-08-18 05:33:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

It smells of liquid nitrous oxide and rotten Californian raisons, with a hint of ambiguity and dextrous silicone fragments.

2006-08-18 05:08:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

One night a blonde goes to a bar, but doesn't drink. Then she walks up to a man and asks him where she lives. The man says I doen't know.

Then she walks into her husband and asks if he will take her home? He's says ok. Their home and they walk in and the blonde says why are you in my house? Her husband says why did you leave the house?

The blonde asks why couldn't I leave?
Husband says because we were suposed to do it. She asks why were we suposed to do it? Because I'm your husband.
The blonde says no your not my husbands a red head.

Husband:?????????????????????????????????

2006-08-18 05:03:51 · 16 answers · asked by Annie Wilson 2

2006-08-18 04:59:58 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-18 04:49:52 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-18 04:46:19 · 11 answers · asked by me 5