so three blondes are walking through a forest?

Question

so three blondes are walking through a forest, and the first one looks down and says...whadya look at that! deer tracks!...the second one looks at her and says...no you moron...those are clearly fox tracks....the third blond shakes her head....your both idiots....those are clearly moose tracks....look you can even tell by the................

Then they got hit by a train

Haha

anybody wanna share any jokes...they dont have to be blonde jokes....make fun of anybody...i wanna laugh

Answer 1

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose c**k was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, if my ear were a c**t I would f**k it.

Answer 2

A couple of redneck hunters are out in
the woods when one of them falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing
and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other redneck starts to panic, then
whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He frantically blurts out to the operator,
"O my gawd! Help! My friend just died.
He's Dead! What can I do?"

The operator, trying to calm him says,
"Take it easy. I can help.
Just listen to me and follow my instructions.
First, lets make sure he's dead."
There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!
The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"
______________________________________

http://funnies.com/hims.htm
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Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.

Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident.

Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor?
.
.
.
.
Answer:

The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man!



**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

**** Men keep scrolling.




So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.



**** Men Keep scrolling


By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this
illustrates another point: Women never listen!
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A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's home, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all wanted to let him go.
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An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.
An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times.
Soon the entire town is whispering about the "Man Who Orders Three Beers". Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"
"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."
The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the "Man Who Orders Three Beers" became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.
Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening: he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers. The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-- the two beers and all..."
The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

Answer 3

Trix are for Kids

A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.

The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"

The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke.

So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!"

The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.

"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.

The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."

The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"



Working On The Fourth Husband

A woman announces to herfriend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hopeyou don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! Whatabout your second husband?"

"He atepoisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."





OJ's Airport Limo Service

Have you heard that OJ is starting a new Airport Limo service?

His motto is, "We get you there with time to kill!"





Rooster and Owl

What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?

A cock that stays up all night!




The Flying Condom

Why was the rubber flying through the air?

It got pissed off.




Pinocchio and Splinters

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your

"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"




What starts with ''F'' and ends with ...

What starts with ''F'' and ends with ''UCK?''

Firetruck!

Answer 4

LMFAO! I just don't get why there were train tracks in a forest.

Answer 5

Now that was funny.