infested sea. Lawyer swims, sharks come and form two lines, one shark swims upto lawyer then moves aside to let him pass. The doctor say's "good god"that must be a miracle, no said the priest Just "professional etiquette". Even ( A Loan) alone shark gives way to a lawyer. Anyone beat this
2006-08-18 00:40:14 · 18 answers · asked by John M 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A dyslexic man walked into a bra
2006-08-18 00:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anon. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the childrens charity in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn't made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volunteer thought, "Why not call him up?"
He calls up the lawyer.
"Sir, according to our research you haven't made a contribution to the childrens charity, would you like to do so?"
The lawyer responds, "A contribution? Does your research show that I have an invalid mother who requires expensive surgery once a year just to stay alive?"
The worker is feeling a bit embarrassed and says, "Well, no sir, I'm..."
"Does your research show that my sister's husband was killed in a car accident? She has three kids and no means of support!"
The worker is feeling quite embarrassed at this point. "I'm terribly sorry..."
"Does your research show that my brother broke his neck on the job and now requires a full time nurse to have any kind of normal life?"
The worker is completely humiliated at this point. "I am sorry sir, please forgive me..."
"The gall of you people! I don't give them anything, so why should I give it to you!" p.s i really like yr joke,it made me laugh!
2006-08-18 20:30:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mistress j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two priests have been stranded on a desert island and had survived for so long. One day one of the lawyers spots a woman drifting upshore, they assume she's dead but when they get closer they realize she is still breathing. One of the lawyers looks at the other and says "you know we've been here for so long without the thouch of a woman should we you know...screw her?" the other one looks at him with a serious face and says "out of what?"
hehe â¥
2006-08-18 08:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
2006-08-18 07:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by alloy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The doctor, if a vet, willl surely guess that a lawyer knows how to make true things false and vice versa. Sharks may be dumb. But they atleast can't be considered entirely mad, can they? If yes, don't be so rude.
2006-08-18 08:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by Urvashi B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How many lawyer jokes are there?
1, the rest are true stories.
What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?
There are skid marks before you get to the skunk.
2006-08-18 08:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by capnbeatty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12yr old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in?" To which the boy replies, "Does it ******* look like it?!"
2006-08-18 07:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by i_just_said_hemi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do scientific laboratories need lawyers as well as rats for subjects for their experiments?
Because there are some things that rats won't do.
2006-08-18 08:14:34 · answer #8 · answered by happytraveler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one, i like this. Reminds me of a saying "Lawyers are liers". Have a great day!
2006-08-18 07:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by easyboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a tomato and a lettuce are in a race, the lettuce is a head while the tomato is tryin to ketchup
2006-08-18 08:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by candie gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋