Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

He is a famous hasya kavi

2006-08-02 19:32:10 · 4 answers · asked by ajay 1

When Adam came home in the small hours of the morning, Eve was jealous."But in all of creation," Adam reasoned, "There's no one but you and me." Mollified, Eve snuggled up to him. Still, when he fell asleep, she very carefully counted his ribs.


lol

2006-08-02 19:30:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Previously, we had this riddle:

Where do lettuces go to get drunk?
A: At the salad bar!

Hehehe. :)
And now, for today's riddle:

Why do dogs chase their tails?

Good luck!

2006-08-02 19:30:30 · 10 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-08-02 19:25:10 · 6 answers · asked by Swetha N 1

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under an eight-point buck. " Where's Harry?" asked another hunter.
"He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner answered.
"You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?"
"A tough call," said the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Harry."


lol

2006-08-02 19:04:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

i heard my dad telling my brother these poems when i was little.

there was a gal named sally brown. she said no man could take her down. over the hill came piss-pot pete with 90 lbs of swinging meat. stuck nine inches up her butt, sally got smart, cut a fart and blew his peter all apart. over the hill went piss-pot pete with 90lbs of shreaded wheat.

when i was young and had no sense, i stuck my tang tang to an electric fence. it curled my toenails, tickled my balls, and made me doo doo in my overalls.

one potato, two potato, three potato, four. my di*k got stuck in an elevator door. someone screamed, my di*k turned green, and thats the end of the story of the dingaling thing.

people who write on bathroom walls, roll their turds into little balls. people who read that word of wit, eat those little balls of sh*t.

2006-08-02 18:55:40 · 8 answers · asked by Amber 3

Three friends who always argued about who was the smartest are sitting on death row. The first one's number comes up, but when he sits down in the electric chair, nothing happens. The warden commutes his sentence on the spot and releases him.
Same thing happens with second friend and he's let go. Then the third guy steps up to the platform and sits down.
The switch is pulled and again there's no charge. But before the warden can say anything, the prisoner starts pointing excitedly. " You know," he says, " If you'd just cross that black wire with the yellow one......."

2006-08-02 18:47:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You attend a baby shower for two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gasoline costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks coffee shop, wearing a baseball cap, and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney
really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or iPods.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your Governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take away your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you a driver's license

2006-08-02 18:46:24 · 10 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.
Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes high school.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end,& even my feet
Have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A. Yes, your bladder.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.
Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why?
A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two.

2006-08-02 18:40:27 · 13 answers · asked by Pd 6

I soar without wings, I see without eyes.
I've traveled the universe to and fro.
I've conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but home.
Who am I?

2006-08-02 18:34:03 · 23 answers · asked by →»£a Ðëê Ðéê «← 3

A woman has an appointment to visit the doctor. When she gets there the receptionist tells her that there is a new doctor and that he cannot see the woman just yet as he is on the phone. The woman waits and then the doctor calls her in and says that he is sorry he kept her waiting but he had some important calls to handle. Within moments the doctor is highly embarrassed. Why?

Why were a group of grown men running around asking each other who Micky Mouse's girlfriend was?

What is peculiar about the number 8549176320?

An elderly woman is found dead in her bed. She has been murdered. In her bedroom is a fine collection of plates. The police established that she was in good health, seemed perfectly fine when she went shopping the day before, and that no one else had recently visited or entered the house. How did she die?

A man walked up to a naked woman, pointed a gun at her heart, and shot her. She survived. How?

Points for creativity!

2006-08-02 18:33:52 · 5 answers · asked by Kevin H 3

"Dad," a polar bear cub asked his father,"Am I 100 percent polar bear?"
"Of course you are," answered the elder bear. "My parents are 100 percent polar bear, which makes me 100 percent polar bear. Your mother's parents are all polar bear, so she's 100 percent polar bear. Yep, that makes you 100 percent polar bear too. Why do you want to know?"
Replied the cub, " Cause I'm freezing!"


cheers lol

2006-08-02 18:24:00 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

a guy donated blood to his gf but when they broke up, the guy goes to his ex-gf and demands his blood back. the girl throws a bloody napkin at his face and says "i'll pay you back monthly ok?!"

2006-08-02 18:22:26 · 9 answers · asked by c3dr1c 3

Is it true that ants can lift weights 50 times more then their own weight ??
if yes then why do they explode when i sit on them ?????

2006-08-02 18:21:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-02 18:05:42 · 27 answers · asked by start w/ laughs ends witha fight 3

A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The boy says, "That won't work."

His mom says, "Why?"

The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

2006-08-02 17:54:40 · 18 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

the best one gets 10 points

2006-08-02 17:46:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

The first person makes it and sells it; the next person buys it but doesn't use it; the last person uses it but doesn't know it.

2006-08-02 17:41:46 · 8 answers · asked by Janet K 4

what did the fly say the crap smelled like ? make it funny for best answer and if i laugh at it youll get chosen.

2006-08-02 17:35:09 · 27 answers · asked by ronald r 3

Hot damn I swear I can just fondle them all day long..

I'mma beat them up if they get on my nerve though.

Just playing.

Peace.

2006-08-02 17:34:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

myspace .com

2006-08-02 17:25:47 · 6 answers · asked by nichole 1

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.


Tee-hee-hee

Silly or just a courtesy laugh?

SmileyCat : )

2006-08-02 17:20:59 · 9 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

Which one is faster and why?
a) a thought
b) a blink of an eye
c) a light switch that simultaneously shuts and open lights across the hall
d) Loose Bowel Movement (LBM)

2006-08-02 17:12:19 · 13 answers · asked by Gil B 1

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/poor-little-kitty.html

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/chubby-cheeked-baby.html

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/worlds-biggest-hole.html

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/amazing-airplane.html

2006-08-02 17:04:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because she wanted to pay for her CONTINENTAL breakfast with a bagful of LINCOLN cents.

2006-08-02 16:59:03 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

if u could be shrunk into a 8 inch person what would u do

2006-08-02 16:39:50 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

WHAT STARTS EITH A E ANND END WITH A E THAT ONLY HAS ONE LETTER,ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY E BUT IT IS EVENLOPE

2006-08-02 16:39:00 · 15 answers · asked by Nash Bro =] 2

and taken away. what am I? .....not sure how to make shorter so finished the end of the riddle in here sorry

2006-08-02 16:37:45 · 8 answers · asked by cas_889092 1

2006-08-02 16:27:08 · 15 answers · asked by cas_889092 1

......YOUR MAMA is......

2006-08-02 16:25:56 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2