Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Whats so unusual about this image can you figure it out?.
Image one:
http://img421.imageshack.us/img421/4285/rustymermaid4bgai5.jpg

Whats also so unusual about this image can you see it?
Image two:
http://img421.imageshack.us/img421/108/daliswans4fgaa4.jpg

Resolve both images to be selected as best answer.
Good luck.

2006-08-03 04:54:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-03 04:53:11 · 24 answers · asked by Hedgehog 3

It was a limerick, it went something like: There once was a man from Nantucket

I don't remember the rest, can y'all tell me?

2006-08-03 04:47:57 · 7 answers · asked by Brian.E 2

"Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."

"Pfffftt, that's the least of your worries, you've got Aids."

2006-08-03 04:47:52 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

You got hundred bucks you need to buy all three fruits orange which is 1$ for one peice
apple which is 5$ for one peice
and grapes which is 1$ for 20 peices
and total should come to 100 peices and 100 bucks gone

2006-08-03 04:47:06 · 4 answers · asked by azu 2

A yellow Bird
with a Yellow bill
Sat upon
My window sill
I lured him in
with a piece of Bread
and then I
Smashed his little head

The moral of
The story is
To get some Head
You need some bread


Tell me what you think or if you have any of your own lymrics.

2006-08-03 04:40:11 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

in a room there were four friends namely mad,brain,somebody and nobody . one day somebody killed nobody,brain was in toilet,mad called police. mad:sir,somebody killed nobody. police:what are you talking, are you mad. mad:yes sir. police:where is your brain? mad:sir brain is in toilet.

2006-08-03 04:37:23 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous

It is hard, goes into something soft, but the part that doesn't go in just dangles. What is it?

2006-08-03 04:20:21 · 7 answers · asked by VetteLeo 6

i give u 100 buck u need to buy hundred fruits from the following catagory it bill should come upto 100


Apples 1ps for 5 bucks

grapes 20pcs for 1 buck

oranges 1ps for 1 buck

2006-08-03 04:17:27 · 11 answers · asked by azu 2

2006-08-03 04:17:20 · 11 answers · asked by forestrchamps 2

The one that makes me fall out of my chair the fastest wins

2006-08-03 04:06:02 · 9 answers · asked by The Bat 3

please tell me your best joke

2006-08-03 04:03:06 · 20 answers · asked by keekeeqb2004 2

MY THUNDER COMES BEFORE MY LIGHTNING.

MY LIGHTNING COMES BEFORE MY RAIN.

MY RAIN DRIES AND BURNS ALL IT TOUCHES.

WHAT AM I?

2006-08-03 04:00:39 · 17 answers · asked by angel_z_3301 2

If so, you freaking rock. Plus, I didn't know what else to ask. So say whatever. I don't care.

2006-08-03 03:57:59 · 19 answers · asked by pharriesand 3

at a doctor convention a woman doctor looks at a cute male doctor and thinks this could be fun so she invites him to her hotel room later. so he shows up and they start talking and she excuses herself to wash her hands. when she comes back the foreplay starts right when it gets interesting she excuses herself agian to wash her hands. she comes back and they start the fun part (if you know what i mean) and when thats done she excuses herself again. so when she comes back he said "i know what you do now." she says "really, what am I?" he said "a surgeon because you are constantly scrubing your hands" and she says "yeah, you must be an anesthetist." he said "how did you guess?" shes says " because i didn't feel a thing"

let me know what you think of if you have heard this before..

2006-08-03 03:57:09 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

you might be a redneck if your dad's cell # has nothing to do with a telephone!

you might be a redneck if you keep a pellet gun by the door.

you might be a redneck if you ever opened a beer at a funeral home

you might be a redneck if you think nsync is where ur dirty dishes are.

does anybody have a redneck joke?

2006-08-03 03:55:12 · 8 answers · asked by <3 3

10 points to the first right answer!

2006-08-03 03:47:58 · 40 answers · asked by slocklin0931 2

It's a radio question for the V for Vendetta movie and is apparently just 1 word.

2006-08-03 03:35:26 · 6 answers · asked by geoff777us 3

I went to the psychiatrist today and he said I was a paranoid schizophrenic.........



.............Well, he didn't actually say that but I could tell what he was thinking.

2006-08-03 03:30:23 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

As if Hippo and Goose could just have a lovely evening!!

Something always has to go wrong doesn't it?

I can't believe it, Goose has dropped the cake on the floor and Mrs Pilkintons carpet is ruined!!!

How the blazes will they get out of this caper?

2006-08-03 03:28:08 · 5 answers · asked by markhatter 6

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight", the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."

2006-08-03 03:27:15 · 5 answers · asked by texasgirl5454312 6

Hippo had the worst hangover last night after raiding Mrs Pilkintons sherry cabinet.

Still, he seems to be back to normal though as he has just arrived home and is asking Goose if he has baked a cake to go with his tea.

Looks like the 2 of them are gonna have a lovely time dont you think?

2006-08-03 03:19:46 · 6 answers · asked by markhatter 6

There are five houses in five different colors. In each house lives a
person with a different nationality. These five owners drink a
certain drink, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of tobacco, or drink the same drink. The question is, who owns the fish?

2006-08-03 03:19:05 · 4 answers · asked by mury902 6

For some reason when a man calls it his Shaft, I just die laughing. I don't know why, but I do.

2006-08-03 03:12:55 · 36 answers · asked by Boo Boo 4

The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you." "I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this." "Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest." "But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What
days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" "Second, how many seconds are there in a year?" "Third, what is God's first
name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, -how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" "Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!" The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve!" "Twelve!" "Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second..." "Hold it," interrupts Saint
Peter. "I see where you're going with it." "And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind." "I'll
give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can you tell me God's first name?"

Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name." "Everbody probly knows it." "It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's 'Howard'?"

Forest answers, "It's in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"

"The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father, Howard be thy name..."

2006-08-03 03:09:03 · 6 answers · asked by hinsdalesprit 3

FAT PPL R SO SLOW........ALL DEY HAVE 2 DO iZ GET ON THEiR BELLiEZ N ROLLL.................WHO THiNKZ THiS iZ FUNNY

2006-08-03 03:08:44 · 7 answers · asked by amy.™ 2

19 people get on at the first stop. at the second stop 12 people get on and 5 people get off. at the last stop 13 people get off. what is the bus drivers name?




To confuse the person even more tell them the joke without letting them read it.*

2006-08-03 03:07:12 · 15 answers · asked by crazisexicool 2

2006-08-03 03:04:19 · 7 answers · asked by T R 2

My buddy told me a riddle when i was drunk, i cant really remember how the whole thing gos and the answer bugs the hell out of me.

what is grater then god...
.......
.......
but if you drink it it will kill you.

i know its not much to work with but any help would be aprciated.
if you dont know what im talking about can you tell me you fav riddle with answer plzzz

thanks all..
josh

2006-08-03 02:58:10 · 4 answers · asked by Josh U 2

not msn monkey

2006-08-03 02:54:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous