Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-06 17:45:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

what eight letter word has letters kst in it's middle in the beginning and at the end?strangly enough ,thje letters k,s,and t only appear once in the word. -kst-

2006-08-06 17:41:24 · 5 answers · asked by mathmagicgirl 1

2006-08-06 17:41:00 · 17 answers · asked by short shorts 1

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight?
Does your mother say, "Don't swallow it!"
and you swallow it in fright?

2006-08-06 17:29:02 · 19 answers · asked by hateful_cow 1

2006-08-06 17:28:27 · 7 answers · asked by MissyM 1

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;

Stop worrying about what will become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the next younger freaking generation!

It's never easy to overcome a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but here are some easy steps to recovery!

Difficulty Level: Hard Time Required: Years Here's How:

1) Let go of the mouse.

2) Turn off the computer.

3) Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.

4) Eat something other than taco chips.

5) Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.

6) Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your buddy list about it.

7) Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible).

8) Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.

9) If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.

10) Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.

11) Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name.

12) Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-08-06 17:25:08 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is a breed of penguin on the Paulo Islands in the Atlantic Ocean which are actually all white.

The picture in the link has between 8 and 15 penguins. Can you tell me exact count and how many eyes do you see? (rated - difficult)
http://www.richstevens.com/NAKED.swf

2006-08-06 17:24:07 · 3 answers · asked by neonsoup 2

Nothing, her husband already told her twice.

2006-08-06 17:20:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

After a long night of making love to this beautiful woman he met at a bar, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."

2006-08-06 17:13:02 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

The coach had put together the perfect team for the
New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't
find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in
Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he threw another from 50 yards down a chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour. I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football ....... and sure enough the Saints go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do
is call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" ,

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You
deserted us. You are not my son.

"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!"

"No! let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment
there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses then tearfully says, " I will never forgive
you for making us move to New Orleans

2006-08-06 17:09:25 · 18 answers · asked by April W 2

2006-08-06 17:00:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

ummm...
you wore that outfit the day before yesterday?

2006-08-06 17:00:09 · 25 answers · asked by sexi_lil_chick 2

must be clean and harmless

2006-08-06 16:54:00 · 12 answers · asked by Melissa 3

I have a brother who looks exactly like me. We were born on the same day to the same mother, yet we are not twins. How is this possible?

2006-08-06 16:50:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Keep it clean please!

2006-08-06 16:48:32 · 13 answers · asked by ♫♪♫TAY-LUR♫♪♫ 3

2006-08-06 16:28:44 · 17 answers · asked by 12 1

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the Flight Attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the Flight Attendant. The busy Flight Attendant smiled, and said, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said, " Yes, she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.

2006-08-06 16:26:27 · 12 answers · asked by yer daddy 3

A nun is having a bath and hears a knock on the door. "It's the blind man, can I come in?". The nun thinks for a moment then tells him to come in. He walks in and says "Nice ****, where shall I hang the blind?".

2006-08-06 16:19:59 · 38 answers · asked by Mclaren 3

She's a myth that i have to believe in,all i needto make it real,is one more reason.....

2006-08-06 16:19:17 · 6 answers · asked by Jasmine 3

Count every "F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

how many times did the letter "F" appear?

2006-08-06 16:09:15 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am closed tightly, and when used right you will hurt
I am caused by some or not a word
I show the anger deep down inside
With a swing I will take you on a ride
In a second people can change from friend to foe
Using me is not the way to go.

♥

2006-08-06 16:00:02 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

this is probably an old thing...but o well...im bored

1) a rooster lays an egg on the top edge of a roof....what way does it roll?
2) how do you help the orphans find their parents?
3) type (your name)
4) so you're running in a race...if you pass the person in last place...what place are you in?
5) what's the first question i asked?
first person with the correct answers gets 10 more pts...yay for you!! hoo-rah! im raw...ha j/k

2006-08-06 15:58:02 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous

That is not dirty and is not offensive to any cultures or religions.

2006-08-06 15:49:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

The manager charges them $30. They each pay $10, and go up to room. The manager decides he overcharged them, and sends the bellboy to the room to give them $5 back. The bellboy is angry because he didn't get a tip, so he keeps $2, and gives each guy back $1. So...each guy paid $10, but got $1 back. $9 x 3 is $27, plus $2 for the bellboy. Where did the other dollar go???

2006-08-06 15:47:22 · 18 answers · asked by klarf 3

Imagine a plane is sat on the beginning of a massive conveyor belt/travelator type arrangement, as wide and as long as a runway, and intends to take off. The conveyer belt is designed to exactly match the speed of the wheels at any given time, moving in the opposite direction of rotation.
There is no wind.
Can the plane take off?

2006-08-06 15:44:04 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous

tom's parents had seven children. they had named them monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday- what was their seventh child called?

2006-08-06 15:42:42 · 25 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

I just want to see how many people actually look!

2006-08-06 15:39:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

What has four wheels and flies?

2006-08-06 15:27:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

a car pulls up outside a hotel and a man knows he is bankrupt.....



(1st correct answer wins 10 points x)

2006-08-06 15:21:09 · 18 answers · asked by sir_harold_of_yore 3

You all know that geese fly in a "v" right?
so i always wondered why one line is longer than the other line? Can you help with this everlasting, very difficult question at the back of my mind?

2006-08-06 15:17:59 · 16 answers · asked by Erin A 2